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Old 08-07-2012, 01:17 AM
 
Location: 900 miles from my home in 80814
4,669 posts, read 6,737,637 times
Reputation: 7078

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Quote:
Originally Posted by canibeyou View Post
I'll let you in on something no one ever told me about, when someone you loves passes away... the fact that the world doesn't stop and everyone notice that someone that was important to you has just had their homegoing. When my Grandpa passed away, on the way to his uneral, we stopped at a McDonald's. I wasn't the least bit hungry, but you have to eat. Well, sitting there, watching everyone laughing, eating, talking, acting like nothing was wrong, infuriated me. I was so angered that no one else seemed to care that someone I loved so much was no longer gonna be around.

I never understood until I lost someone special how "cruel" life can be that way. That was a bitter lesson to learn so young.
Oh, this brought back such memories. After dh's funeral, my family all decided to go to a nice restaurant for dinner. I was shocked that they wanted to have fun. I, too, was so angry that I wasn't hungry. I wanted to shout to everyone laughing and having a good time that my HUSBAND had just died!!!! How could they be so insensitive? I understand now that it wasn't about me, or my feelings, it was their way of not letting the depression of losing their brother, father, grandfather take over. It's okay to smile and laugh. It doesn't disrespect the one that passed. Hard lesson to learn, but important.
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Old 08-07-2012, 10:14 PM
 
1,470 posts, read 1,613,930 times
Reputation: 584
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam I Am View Post
Elle, this is an old thread that was resurrected when Grief became it's own forum a while back. Old threads that were scattered throughout C-D were pulled into one forum and we are ever so grateful to the Administrator for giving us this place to talk. You may find many older threads sprinkled throughout, but they have lots of useful information.
Well yes, but the OP has not touched this site in some time. It's become more of a place to assist the suffering despite its original intentions. My point was that it hasn't even been checked by the OP.

Quote:
Originally Posted by kevxu View Post
I agree with your second thoughts. This remark has always struck me as one of the most grossly smug, know-it-all and dismissive comments that a person can make when someone dies.
Whoa, I never heard that one, but I guess I'm fortunate enough. That is rude. Additionally, it doesn't help much.
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Old 09-15-2012, 12:43 AM
 
Location: Southern California
748 posts, read 983,517 times
Reputation: 1071
Both of my biological grandfathers passed away with a year of the other. My mom's dad, we spent every summer with him, fishing, camping, oh, my mom's dad was a wonderful man. He slipped away after having a stroke, lived a very long happy life. I hardly cried at all.
I had met my father's dad only 2 times. He left my dad's mom when my dad was just 2. Out of the blue, a quiet blue eyed man found his son after 40 plus years. My sister fell in love with her new grandpa and moved with him and my dad back to his state. I get a phone call from my sister, she is crying. "Grandpa killed himself, he shot himself with a .22 rifle and I found him"
I cried and I cried. I never knew the man and I was just torn up that he took his life. I was so sad for my sister, my dad..

I think that anytime we loose somebody we are close to, it is like an arm gets amputated, or a toe, depending on how close you were. But what I am saying, is your life will never be the same as it was. Somebody we hold close in our heart, when they leave, there will be a void. Like, loosing an arm.

But time is a powerful thing. We learn to live with out that arm and eventually we may even find laughter and normal life again. Life is never the same. Pain helps us heal and makes us grow. Hoping you have many more years with out loosing somebody close to you.
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Old 09-17-2012, 07:02 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 65,242,129 times
Reputation: 22270
Quote:
Originally Posted by fuzzymystic View Post
The truth is, every time you say good bye to someone-in person, on the phone, whatever, it could be the last time.
SO true and something I literally do think about all the time - that we don't know when will be the last time we see our loved ones and dear friends. I have lost some people in my life unexpectedly and it is such a shock, but I have always had the comfort of knowing I made sure they knew how important they were in my life. That may not seem like much comfort but it has been for me.
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Old 09-20-2012, 06:10 AM
 
Location: Islip,NY
16,929 posts, read 19,666,757 times
Reputation: 17186
Let's see .... since I was 13 I have been to at least 20 funerals and one memorial. My first funeral was in 1983 I was 13. I have lost 2 grandmothers and 2 grandfathers, my dad, my uncle , 2 aunts. The rest were family friends or co-workers.
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Old 09-20-2012, 09:23 AM
 
1,499 posts, read 2,309,695 times
Reputation: 1005
Quote:
Originally Posted by lubby View Post
Let's see .... since I was 13 I have been to at least 20 funerals and one memorial. My first funeral was in 1983 I was 13. I have lost 2 grandmothers and 2 grandfathers, my dad, my uncle , 2 aunts. The rest were family friends or co-workers.
I've lost count, to be honest. Family wise, I've lost two great-grandfathers, a great-grandmother, my grandmother, more aunts/uncles than I remember, my godparents, plus the funerals/wakes I've been to for friends. The worst was a family friends daughter had AIDS and had two kids - both of them died as infants, I went to both funerals. At the time, I didn't even know they made caskets that small.
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