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Old 08-01-2007, 08:02 AM
 
2,833 posts, read 9,610,737 times
Reputation: 1651

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My Dad has been in the hospital for 17 days. He came to the hospital with Congestive Heart Failure. He is 81. They put a pace maker in on Monday and finally drained all the fluid out of his lungs. I thought he looked prettyy good the day after, but they had him try to walk and his blood pressure dropped real low. Agter that he was fine, I went home and left my Mom there. She said when they got him back in bed and dropped the head of the bed (he has been sleeping upright for 2 weeks now due to the fluid) he passed out and it took the nurses about 15 minutes to get him to come around. He pulled her close right after he came to and said "Remember, I want to be cremated." She said he seemed alright after that.
Over the last 2 weeks I have made myself physically sick. I cannot seem to take this day by day, and each day I feel more drained. My Mom needs me, but today I feel so week from not eating and bouts of stomach issues. My nerves are shot. I have a job, but cannot go to work. I cannot cook for my family, I cannot concentrate on anything. They both really need me and I feel like I'm slipping away into a physical wreck.
I get this gut feeling he is not going to make it, I just wish he didn't have to struggle anymore. My Mom and brother seem to think he will be fine, it will just take time. I really don't think so. I have constant visions in my head that I cannot stop, funeral arrangements, what will I wear, what will my kids wear, what will we do after the funeral, where will my Mom live, all the people I will see that I haven't seen in a long time, these are constantly running through my head like movies. Is there a medication I can get that will calm me down and make me think rationally so that I can function? I know I'm not the first person to deal with this, I'm such a baby.
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Old 08-01-2007, 08:30 AM
 
Location: NE Florida
9,362 posts, read 22,354,381 times
Reputation: 9265
I am so sorry for all that you are going through and have said a prayer for you and your family. I have no words of wisdom for your situation. It would be easy to say to take it one day at a time and if that doesn't help, take it one hour at a time- or even on minute at a time. So easy to say, not so easy to do. At times it has seemed that I have had to remind God that I was at the end of my rope and needed him to take over. And there have been times I have done that and a surreal calm has come over me, as though I had been drugged. But everyone is different and each situation is different. And each day of a situation can be different.

I'm sure there is something that can be prescribed to help you. Make the time to visit your doctor and find out. Hang on and know that there many on this site who will hold you in their thoughts. Sending love your way.



Quote:
Originally Posted by I LOVE PA! View Post
My Dad has been in the hospital for 17 days. He came to the hospital with Congestive Heart Failure. He is 81. They put a pace maker in on Monday and finally drained all the fluid out of his lungs. I thought he looked prettyy good the day after, but they had him try to walk and his blood pressure dropped real low. Agter that he was fine, I went home and left my Mom there. She said when they got him back in bed and dropped the head of the bed (he has been sleeping upright for 2 weeks now due to the fluid) he passed out and it took the nurses about 15 minutes to get him to come around. He pulled her close right after he came to and said "Remember, I want to be cremated." She said he seemed alright after that.
Over the last 2 weeks I have made myself physically sick. I cannot seem to take this day by day, and each day I feel more drained. My Mom needs me, but today I feel so week from not eating and bouts of stomach issues. My nerves are shot. I have a job, but cannot go to work. I cannot cook for my family, I cannot concentrate on anything. They both really need me and I feel like I'm slipping away into a physical wreck.
I get this gut feeling he is not going to make it, I just wish he didn't have to struggle anymore. My Mom and brother seem to think he will be fine, it will just take time. I really don't think so. I have constant visions in my head that I cannot stop, funeral arrangements, what will I wear, what will my kids wear, what will we do after the funeral, where will my Mom live, all the people I will see that I haven't seen in a long time, these are constantly running through my head like movies. Is there a medication I can get that will calm me down and make me think rationally so that I can function? I know I'm not the first person to deal with this, I'm such a baby.
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Old 08-01-2007, 09:14 AM
 
Location: Miami. Florida
942 posts, read 2,330,262 times
Reputation: 892
I am trully sorry for everything you are going through. I amnot sure if you are a faithful believer of a higher power mine is my Lord Jesus Christ. If you are pray fro strength and guidance. Strength to help your family and yourself cope with such a difficult situation. uidance to let you know what is your next step. Call you doctor and ask for an appt. let them know it is an emergency. Most doctors will be sympathetic and should prescribe a low dose xanax or something. You dont want to be to out of it, you need to be aware of what going on around you. Your family needs you right now, meditate, pray. I hope this helps. Your family will be in prayers.
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Old 08-01-2007, 10:34 AM
 
Location: Lots of sun and palm trees with occasional hurricane :)
8,292 posts, read 14,583,368 times
Reputation: 6980
I Love PA - I'm sorry you're going through this and I hope your father will come through it all just fine.

You need to take a deep breath and decide that you have to be strong NOW. You need to keep it together NOW. You have to find the strength from within NOW.

Call your doctor, a doctor, so he/she can give you something but anti-depressants usually take 2 or 3 weeks before they start to do their thing so you basically have to pull yourself up on your own in the meantime.

Your father and mother need YOUR courage and strength. You cannot fall apart now.
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Old 08-01-2007, 10:44 AM
 
5,640 posts, read 16,942,001 times
Reputation: 3963
Try some sort of herbal tea that has a relaxant in it. Maybe you can visit your local health food store for this. Or go to your doc to get a tranquilizer in order to get some sleep.
Lack of sleep is probably your worst enemy. Hate to bring this up, if you have not discussed this with him yet, but make sure his finances are in order and he has signed a will and/or living trust (no extensive life support if he so wishes). You could be in for terrible headaches if he passes without provisions.
Try meditation and prayer. Good luck!
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Old 08-01-2007, 04:42 PM
 
Location: in a house
3,574 posts, read 12,851,038 times
Reputation: 2332
Quote:
Originally Posted by I LOVE PA! View Post
My Dad has been in the hospital for 17 days. He came to the hospital with Congestive Heart Failure. He is 81. They put a pace maker in on Monday and finally drained all the fluid out of his lungs. I thought he looked prettyy good the day after, but they had him try to walk and his blood pressure dropped real low. Agter that he was fine, I went home and left my Mom there. She said when they got him back in bed and dropped the head of the bed (he has been sleeping upright for 2 weeks now due to the fluid) he passed out and it took the nurses about 15 minutes to get him to come around. He pulled her close right after he came to and said "Remember, I want to be cremated." She said he seemed alright after that.
Over the last 2 weeks I have made myself physically sick. I cannot seem to take this day by day, and each day I feel more drained. My Mom needs me, but today I feel so week from not eating and bouts of stomach issues. My nerves are shot. I have a job, but cannot go to work. I cannot cook for my family, I cannot concentrate on anything. They both really need me and I feel like I'm slipping away into a physical wreck.
I get this gut feeling he is not going to make it, I just wish he didn't have to struggle anymore. My Mom and brother seem to think he will be fine, it will just take time. I really don't think so. I have constant visions in my head that I cannot stop, funeral arrangements, what will I wear, what will my kids wear, what will we do after the funeral, where will my Mom live, all the people I will see that I haven't seen in a long time, these are constantly running through my head like movies. Is there a medication I can get that will calm me down and make me think rationally so that I can function? I know I'm not the first person to deal with this, I'm such a baby.
Ok, darlin' It sounds as if your dad had a lot of fluid removed by a heart that started to pump more efficiently (This is a good thing!) once the pacemaker was inserted. Sometimes, when the fluid comes off, people can get a little dehydrated and as a result, get lightheaded to the point that they get very weak or pass out during the early recovery stage. Has he been getting stronger and walking more since then? Appetite good? These are positive signs to look for. Now the other stuff - you're scared and you have every right to be! Any time a person sees their parent go through this, it is NORMAL to have all these thoughts go running through your head and you are not a baby! It is a scary thing. You may want to talk to someone about your fears - a trusted friend, your husband, your healthcare provider. S/he may give you a very small number of minor tranq to take the edge off, but it will help you if you can get these feelings out. Everyone here's given you some good suggestions to try. My heart goes out to you and I am thinking of you and your family.
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Old 08-01-2007, 05:12 PM
 
Location: Sheffield, England
2,639 posts, read 5,933,573 times
Reputation: 3249
I am so sorry to hear about your dad's situation and what you and your family are going through at the moment. I will say a prayer for you tonight. Remember though that in the end if God decides that his time on Earth is done and it's time for him to go home, then it will be for the best and although you may not be able to see him any more, he will always be there with you.

Once again my deepest condolences to you all.

Will
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Old 08-01-2007, 05:23 PM
 
Location: Mayberry
31,588 posts, read 12,719,116 times
Reputation: 68369
Quote:
Originally Posted by I LOVE PA! View Post
My Dad has been in the hospital for 17 days. He came to the hospital with Congestive Heart Failure. He is 81. They put a pace maker in on Monday and finally drained all the fluid out of his lungs. I thought he looked prettyy good the day after, but they had him try to walk and his blood pressure dropped real low. Agter that he was fine, I went home and left my Mom there. She said when they got him back in bed and dropped the head of the bed (he has been sleeping upright for 2 weeks now due to the fluid) he passed out and it took the nurses about 15 minutes to get him to come around. He pulled her close right after he came to and said "Remember, I want to be cremated." She said he seemed alright after that.
Over the last 2 weeks I have made myself physically sick. I cannot seem to take this day by day, and each day I feel more drained. My Mom needs me, but today I feel so week from not eating and bouts of stomach issues. My nerves are shot. I have a job, but cannot go to work. I cannot cook for my family, I cannot concentrate on anything. They both really need me and I feel like I'm slipping away into a physical wreck.
I get this gut feeling he is not going to make it, I just wish he didn't have to struggle anymore. My Mom and brother seem to think he will be fine, it will just take time. I really don't think so. I have constant visions in my head that I cannot stop, funeral arrangements, what will I wear, what will my kids wear, what will we do after the funeral, where will my Mom live, all the people I will see that I haven't seen in a long time, these are constantly running through my head like movies. Is there a medication I can get that will calm me down and make me think rationally so that I can function? I know I'm not the first person to deal with this, I'm such a baby.

Oh wow, I am so sorry, I am going through this too although my Mom was in the hospital 8 days and her dying was not expected. Somehow I managed my strength for my Dad and my brother. I was having terrible IBS, which I usually have under control, no sleep and can't stop crying. She was 78. My heart goes out to you. Go to the dr. I did. I couldn't do it by myself. I needed to control my emotions, just a little and the rx he gave me helped. I remember hurting all over a couple days later, I had been sitting on curbs outside the hospital on the phone, hard chairs, walking, standing...all of a sudden everything hurt really bad, then came really bad headaches, I think from all of the crying.

I suppose none of this is making you feel better. Somehow God gives us the strength to make it through until we can let go and scream. Go to the dr. Eat toast and tea. Something, anything.... I can feel your pain so much right now. Oh and I went to bed thinking of all of the future stuff too. I'm crazy though. You have to sleep, it's Ok if you can't do it without help. Please take care of yourself and be there for your Mom... You are in my prayers..
Terry

Oh I take a small dose of Klonopin. It helps. God bless
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Old 08-02-2007, 01:15 PM
 
Location: God's Country
21,422 posts, read 29,558,654 times
Reputation: 29942
I can sympathize with you, last week my husband was in the hospital, they thought he had a stoke, but Praise God he did not. But it can wear you down. Be sure you take good vitamins, drink water and eat some turkey, yes turkey does help. Get as much rest as you can and don't be afraid to ask for help from friends and family.
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Old 08-02-2007, 07:42 PM
 
1,397 posts, read 4,307,909 times
Reputation: 2671
That is horrible what you are going through. But I can only tell you one thing. TRY TO SPEND AS MUCH TIME WITH HIM AS YOU CAN!!!Don't be sad, and cherish every moment with him while you can...
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