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Old 08-17-2014, 09:10 AM
7,497 posts, read 9,310,608 times
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Originally Posted by zenapple View Post
On my first day of high school, my cat suddenly had to be put down by animal control officers in front of me - he had a brain tumor and attacked my mom, out of the blue. I was in such utter shock at having witnessed that that I lost the ability to speak for several days. I just could.not.speak. I didn't cry or wail or anything, I just couldn't bring myself to say anything. The same thing happened, to a lesser extent, when I was in college and my fiancé (yeah, judge away, lol) left me out of the blue. Everything was fine one day, and the next he was gone. He was my best friend, I had trusted him, etc., and I had had no clue anything was wrong. I was devastated, and couldn't speak for about a day. People do mourn in different ways. Stuff can be traumatic. I agree that you should help people who are hurting, not judge them.
I didn't know that about the Irish. Learn something new every day...
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Old 08-17-2014, 10:02 AM
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I have lost someone very close and young when I was a teen. There is hysterical, like for a moment when it becomes real. And then there is hysterical in order to get attention and manipulate others around them to focus on their grief.

One is totally ok, one is not ok in my book.
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Old 08-18-2014, 01:53 PM
Status: "It's winter!" (set 58 minutes ago)
7,908 posts, read 10,196,953 times
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Hysteria can occur. It just is. Not a matter of justified or not. Some cultures do seem to have more hysteria w/ grieving, some don't. Same with some people. I've been to wakes, as a kid, where people were hysterical. I don't judge it. When my pets died, I got hysterical. Other situations, same. I don't tend toward it, but it happens. If you have a child killed, why would you not be hysterical? Or, a sudden, unexpected, death in the family? Or, you lose your job you thought you'd retire from and have only a few years left? Or, different things. People react differently to trauma. It's when people don't react, that it's more of a problem for them down the line.
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Old 08-24-2014, 09:56 PM
Location: Toronto, Canada
76 posts, read 81,292 times
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I don't judge hysteria, nor do I think it's ideal. My in-laws were over when the cops came and told me about my brother's heart attack. For the first few minutes I was kind of numb, but then when I started calling family and telling them, something about hearing their reactions made it feel real and made me hysterical in return. And when I say hysterical, I mean I couldn't even get up to do something like go to the bathroom without shaking like crazy. That went on for at least an hour, and my in-laws stayed much later than normal - who could blame them for worrying? It didn't help either that some people from my family were asking things like "what are you going to do with his house" the VERY NIGHT it happened. There were a few times when I had to pass the phone to Dan or his mom (my side of the family and my in-laws knew each other) because I could not take answering 1983747 questions about what the cops said, what was happening with his stuff, if he had any symptoms in the days/weeks beforehand, etc. So while I agree that hysteria can add to the stress, I don't pass judgment on it either.
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Old 08-28-2014, 12:05 PM
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I agree with you. My Sister is the exact same way....in fact, God Forbid my Father doesn't answer the phone, she automatically thinks he's dead. And she insists that I go over there and ask him why he didn't answer the phone! "He was in the Bathroom" is his usual excuse. (Well why can't he go to the bathroom, right?!) I get the same thing from my Mother "WHERE WERE YOU! I Called YOU!"..Like I couldn't be anywhere else besides the bathroom.
A Long time ago, we were going to a Bridal Shower and My Father and my Uncle dropped us off, and then went to the mall to eat dinner. On the way home from the mall to pick us up again, my uncle died of a massive heart attack in the passenger seat of my father's car. (My father is not too swift, and he thought he was "Snoring". when Really he was taking his last breath.") So he comes running into the hall and tells my Aunt he can't wake him up." The entire hall ran outside and tried to wake him up....Bride and All.
So when we went to the Wake, she just lost it...and she decided to Shake the Casket vigorously to try and "wake him up" as if he was not really dead and about to be buried."
It is hard to watch...and it's hard to know what to say when you are in that position....you think it is part of the "Grieving Process" or stress...or is it really just the way they are in emergency situations.
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