Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
I'm still pi$$ed at my g/f who hung herself with no note, nada and let her daughters find her. This was over 20 years ago but now the anger is a controlled one. Something will trigger the memory and for a moment I'm angry with her all over agin and say "WHY????" Then I let it pass. Your anger will subside in time if you don't dwell on it. You had no control over this girl. Don't let her suicide control you now.
Close friends daughter aged 32 passed this past Sunday after being taken off life support. She was part of our lives and loved her dearly but I can't even cry, I'm so angry with her as this didn't have to happen....she died from overdose of illegal prescription drugs & vodka.
I think of all the times she said she was fine and not doing that crap anymore...
Hope I can get over this before the wake tomorrow night....
The use of sedatives mixed with alcohol is a dangerous game to play..this sounds like a horrible accident- sounds like the poor woman had trouble dealing with the stress and evil of daily living- It's not her fault- It is ashamed that she is gone...it is heart breaking that she did not realize the world was better with her than without her...sounds like you dearly loved this angel...
Don't cry...any time I wept for the dead was when I knew they were bad misled people- when a good person leaves you are not supposed to cry-
Have faith- don't be afraid- You were not betrayed by this person...so don't be angry...what happened was what they call a mistake...in the future take care to make sure mistakes happen less - I have had the same guilt as you- that I could have saved the person and did not-----------but - we are not God....Let the guilt and anger with yourself go- forgive yourself and carry on...do it quickly...for your own sake and the person who has left........You can do it-----------Love to you and the family.
tamiznluv, someone who takes their own life is too absorbed by the pain and struggle to see clearly and to realize how bad they're hurting someone else. Most think the world will be a better place without them in it. Sometimes it's a spur of the moment thing where they don't think of the consequences and if they do think of them, they feel they're doing everyone a favor...as distorted at that seems to others. Sometimes it's a lifelong fight to not do it and to finally give in or to be so tired from fighting that they have no strenght left to stay. But even so, I think it takes just as much courage to go as it does to stay
tamiznluv, someone who takes their own life is too absorbed by the pain and struggle to see clearly and to realize how bad they're hurting someone else. Most think the world will be a better place without them in it. Sometimes it's a spur of the moment thing where they don't think of the consequences and if they do think of them, they feel they're doing everyone a favor...as distorted at that seems to others. Sometimes it's a lifelong fight to not do it and to finally give in or to be so tired from fighting that they have no strenght left to stay. But even so, I think it takes just as much courage to go as it does to stay
I understand what you are saying, MaggieZ but I still think it's a cowardly thing to do. This woman kept ME from doing something stupid when we were much younger and then for HER to do it? She KNEW it is THEE most important Commandment not to break. I always wonder what made her do it. I've always suspected my ex husband had something to do with it when she tried to help our marriage at one time. He was a snake and I wouldn't put him past seducing her that day.
Close friends daughter aged 32 passed this past Sunday after being taken off life support. She was part of our lives and loved her dearly but I can't even cry, I'm so angry with her as this didn't have to happen....she died from overdose of illegal prescription drugs & vodka.
I think of all the times she said she was fine and not doing that crap anymore...
Hope I can get over this before the wake tomorrow night....
I'm so so sorry for your loss...it is extremely difficult when it's a child, especially lossing them to drugs and/or alchol. My thoughts are with you.
Everyone is different, there isn't a specific time, some it takes longer, others, not, but your anger is perfectly normal...one day, you'll be doing something, going somewhere, and the smallest thought of her will come to mind, and you'll cry eventually. I don't blame you for being angry with her. You see the extreme pain your friends are going thru.
One suggestion though, be there for them, b/c they are going to go through a huge amount of guilt for a while...don't allow them to even go there, this was they're daughters choice, not they'res. It's not they're fault...do they have other children? Reason I ask is, sometimes if there are other children, the parents get so caught up in they're own grief and emotions, they emotionally abandon the other kids and let them fend for themselves....not good...so, be there for them, allow them to grieve, but then help each other heal....you will have good days, and then days that are really really hard.
njkate, I'm so sorry I neglected to pass my condolences on to you. I am sorry to hear of your friends' daughter's passing.
Creme sounds like a very wise, compassionate woman. She gives sound advice.
I pray time will help soften the anger in your heart. It'll never go away but with time it gets tempered.
My hugs also,
tami
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.
Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
Then I let it pass. Your anger will subside in time if you don't dwell on it. You had no control over this girl. Don't let her suicide control you now.
