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Old 06-30-2012, 08:39 PM
 
Location: Taxachusetts
13,369 posts, read 7,963,690 times
Reputation: 10935

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Quote:
Originally Posted by kelly237 View Post
If it were my friends they would know where I hide the key
Ah ha! Yep. I forgot that one friend of mine does know where the key is.
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Old 08-28-2012, 09:54 AM
 
Location: Taxachusetts
13,369 posts, read 7,963,690 times
Reputation: 10935
It's been a while since I took myself out to dinner except for the fast food route but on the way home from fixing stairs at my other house that I'll be moving back into, I stopped at a place I hadn't been into for 45 years.

The place used to be us kids' hangout in the summer. Sandwiches, ice cream, drinks is what they served. We hung out in the parking lot more than we did inside though. It's been through many new names and owners in the last few decades so I thought I would stop.

The bar and the boothes were all the same! Only thing missing was the jukebox. This new owner serves breakfast, lunch and dinners. The food was excellent and the waitresses very nice.

There was one lady sitting at the bar (soda and eating bar, no liquor), I sat 4 stools away from her and after I had settled in, looked around and put my order in, I made mention of the fact that I hadn't been in there in 40 odd years. That got her to talking and we chit chatted awhile about the town and I made mention that my husband had just died. She asked if she could scoot over beside me and I said "of course". Turns out she has been widowed for 3 years and how hard the first year was. Her doctor even thought she had a blocked artery to be causing all the pain in her chest. Nope, she was fine according to the angeograms. She had a broken heart as she said. I could see the tears trying to come but she made it through. We parted company so I could eat my dinner which had come and was getting cold. I told her about this place and what a nice bunch of people who were on the berevement forum. Maybe she'll look us up some day. She wrote it down. We exchanged names and found we are both on FB so maybe we will stay in contact. She was very happy to have met me because as she said, "no one knows unless they have been through it". Very, very true.

Just wanted to let you all know of my latest experience.
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Old 08-28-2012, 08:24 PM
 
Location: Middle Tennessee
363 posts, read 198,838 times
Reputation: 672
Thanks tami for sharing that story with us. You just never know how your life is going to touch someone else. You never know what pain other people are secretly bearing, and what a relief it is to talk to someone that can relate to your experience.

Since my husband passed away, I am finding more and more opportunities to reach out to other people. Today you were a blessing to that lady, and who knows, maybe the start of a brand new friendship! Hope she visits here as well.

Bless you!
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Old 08-31-2012, 12:56 AM
 
Location: WA
397 posts, read 216,155 times
Reputation: 1751
Thank you Tami for sharing your experience and giving us the encouragement to try new things or things by
oneself. TN enjoyed your response. Both of you, your understanding has been of invaluable help to me.
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Old 08-31-2012, 06:04 PM
 
Location: Taxachusetts
13,369 posts, read 7,963,690 times
Reputation: 10935
Quote:
Originally Posted by sera View Post
Thank you Tami for sharing your experience and giving us the encouragement to try new things or things by
oneself. TN enjoyed your response. Both of you, your understanding has been of invaluable help to me.
That's all I could wish for, sera. Makes me very happy to have helped you.
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Old 09-01-2012, 01:25 PM
 
679 posts, read 474,703 times
Reputation: 1033
In order to meet people, one has to get out of the home. So I think going out on your own is a very good start. I prefer to dine, etc. with my friends, but sometimes I'm in the mood to go out and there's no one available to go with close by. I go out on my own. Better than sitting at home alone when I'm in the mood to go out.

I do hate though when the say "just" one? Do they say "just" two, three, etc.? How about, "table for one?"
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Old 09-02-2012, 12:27 PM
 
Location: Taxachusetts
13,369 posts, read 7,963,690 times
Reputation: 10935
I'm getting very comfortable going to this resteraunt(sp) by myself! Last night I met the new owner. Found out he went to the arch rival school system back when we were kids. Told him some things he didn't know about the original owner and how we kids used to hang out. His town was a little hick town like here back in the day. I remember that too.

I couldn't decide between prime rib or pork sirloin and went with the pork. The owner was sitting beside me by then and we had been talking and when the dinner came out, my first mouthfull, I went "Mmmm", that made him happy. It's the first time I've had a pork sirloin that was just about as good as my Daddy used to cook and I didn't have to do the cooking either!

Things will change once I get back to our house because there I have an enormous kitchen and will be happy to cook for myself. (once I buy a new stove) Until then though, I'll be a happy customer at this nice resteraunt(sp).
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Old 09-02-2012, 04:13 PM
 
Location: Middle Tennessee
363 posts, read 198,838 times
Reputation: 672
tami, so glad you are feeling comfortable eating there! And how nice you met the owner and could talk about ole times!

This past week, a girlfriend and I took the day and went to a small artsy/touristy town near here, shopped and had lunch at the local cafe. It's the first time I had done that in years!! My husband and I used to go out and eat a lot, but it has been years since he was able to do that. How I miss going out for a good meal....just getting out was great. Of course with him, it was wonderful and always a special time together.

I hope to do that more (go out with a friend), because I truly enjoy it.

It's still hard for me to go out and eat alone; it's hard to see couples together. It makes me miss my husband so very much. Actually, if the truth be known, it is hard to go anywhere and see couples together. I just want to tell them to cherish each other and not take each other for granted, because you just never know when that togetherness might end.

On a side note, today at church we had a dinner for all the new members (including me!) It was a wonderful time with so much good food. After eating, I introduced myself to a lady that I did not know, and turns out her husband is in poor health, has been in a nursing home, and just came home before going to get further medical treatment. He is not in good shape. We shared the role of a caregiver and talked about how hard it is on the one giving the care. The floodgates opened for both of us and we cried and hugged and related our stories. It's had been a while since I had cried like that. You just never know when the opportunity presents itself to share a moment and how it will effect someone else, or yourself.

Of course, Pastor's sermon today was about truly loving your neighbor as you love God, because that is what God expects of us. It hit a nerve and touched my heart and I got a little emotional in church, so I think I was already a little emotional when I had the conversation with the new member.

At least I was surrounded by my church family who gave me hugs and support as they saw me crying.

tami, I wish we lived closer so we could go out to eat....together! That would be awesome girlfriend
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Old 09-05-2012, 01:09 AM
 
Location: Bradenton, FL
2,049 posts, read 2,318,612 times
Reputation: 1608
Ladies, if it makes you feel any better, I am not a widow but still hate eating out alone. I had to do it while traveling on business sometimes, or else just eat takeout or room service. Breakfasts weren't bad, but dinners felt weird. I still won't go out to dinner by myself. And it's hard to find people to go out to dinner! Everyone's tied up, busy with work, busy with grandchildren, booked out the wazoo. You try to schedule something and they end up cancelling. I sure wish we all lived close to each other too! I really would like to go to a good restaurant once in awhile.
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Old 09-05-2012, 02:42 AM
 
Location: Not where my heart is...
3,539 posts, read 3,143,340 times
Reputation: 4482
My husband and I lived in a very rural area of Colorado, so we rarely went out to eat unless we were on vacation. At this point, it's not something I would do by myself. I'd be more comfortable microwaving a Lean Cuisine before than going out alone. It's just not me, so I really admire those of you who can and do go to restaurants alone, and enjoy it. That would be so far out of my comfort zone at this point, that I just can't imagine myself doing it, but then again, there are a lot of things I never thought I'd do that I've done since my husband died. It could happen someday, I suppose. One step at a time.
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