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Making the move showed me that I was in denial about quite a few things...When nearly everything was packed and "gone" I realized that I'd been living in a "morgue."...I had started to come into my own a little more. BUT I was chained to the past too. Now I'm suddenly thrust into the world on my own and it's a "shocker" and I'm disoriented and even "lost" at times...But I honestly think that I needed some type of "wake-up call" and "fresh start" in order to be able to go "on." Even though I seemed "okay" and functioned "good enough" everyday I might have gone on to join my husband and sons before too long. (Not suicide...Some type of natural death eventually.)...Even now I feel "wispy." And only "half here." But in time I think I may do better because I made the move.. And (of course) I'm physically and emotionally drained from moving everything right now.
Lately I've written about "well-meaning friends" who came on "too strong" with me at times.. Other friends looked and seemed concerned (about me) but didn't say much...Even my cats seemed concerned about me. And worried in their own way...I felt "okay." I functioned! But I guess everyone was waiting (and hoping) to see a little more "life" in me. ..The "old me" didn't show-up very often. I've always been an "idea person" with tons of creative projects waiting in the "wings." Not someone who just "exists" to get through each day. (With absolutely no goals or dreams for the future.)...My "well-meaning friends" helped me get out of my "rut" by having the guts and courage to actually "confront me." (And be "pests!") They may have even saved my life. Who knows?
My dad was a widower and had severe issues even replacing a table from the 70's. He wasnt ready to move on, but he did admit it (emotionally). The dr said it was a form of grieving, some will never let go.
Nope. No problems there. I just have not been very vocal about it. It is a difficult subject to tackle, as you all know. He does not realize the issues. I have been rather quiet.
We won't break up over this. Or anything else, it is just part of blending as a couple.
Some of this is growing up with depression era parents, and maybe also part is hoarding, not wanting to part with anything.
We have had quite a purge in the last few months. It has been a lot of changes.
If we bring up an issue (or situation we're facing) we're going to receive varied responses...Everyone has his or her own thoughts and "take" on our situation. Don't you think?...I notice that some friends can get into the "protective mode" based on what I say. (Or "report.")...Anyway, back to the topic: I think we all have different "tolerance levels" when it comes to former spouses and their "stuff." Don't you?...Personally I don't want to consider dating until I'm a little more "free and clear." (In all ways!)
That old bf I posted about called me and asked to come see me. I said "no". I did what I had wanted to do, apologize and that's it. He's been through a dead wife, a dead gf who died in his arms and has a current gf WHY would I want to have you come to my house????
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