Appropriate Attire for MIL's Funeral?

[lauramc27]

Hello All,

I'm not sure if this is the correct forum, but here goes. My MIL has been diagnosed with Stage 4, in-operable cancer and her doctor has given her only a few months.

My question is, she has always loved to color red, and so did her father. I was wondering if it would be appropriate to wear red to her funeral? I know she wore red to her fathers funeral and a few people said some not so nice things to her about it, making her feel the need to explain, then they sulked off without even an apology. I don't want people to think I am not respectful, but she has requested this be a celebration of her life as apposed to a somber sad occasion. What are your thoughts?

[theoldnorthstate]

tough one

how about dress her in red and you wear the same shade

[Wayland Woman]

I'd say is she requested a celebration then wearing red is perfectly appropriate (in my opinion) and you should pass the word to as many as possible that it would be nice if they'd all wear her favorite color. Of course, this is a topic that should be suggested and discussed first with her immediate family when they plan the service.

[MsAnnThrope]

How about wearing mostly black with a striking slash of red?

Like a gorgeous scarf and ring, or clutch or earrings.

That would make more of a statement IMO both fashion wise, to your MIL, and make the traditional types happy if you do it right.

I'd probably use the opportunity to wear a hat and red veil, but I'm a fashion victim.

[Hedgehog_Mom]

I'd probably wear a black suit and a red blouse, or a black dress and red scarf. And have the flower arrangements be red, in honor of her preference.

[SXMGirl]

I agree with all of the others. However, I have been there so be prepared that there will be those who still criticize whatever you wear. If your MIL is able, ask her what she would like you to wear when the time comes. That way, if someone says something to you, you can let them know that it was her special request. My condolences.

[Avalon08]

If your MIL wore red to her father's funeral, then obviously she thinks it's appropriate. Maybe, when the time comes, you can remind your husband and the immediate family about that and see what they think. Or ask her about it, if she's the type to discuss her funeral plans in advance. At my cousin's funeral, the family asked that everyone wear colorful socks in his honor. He apparently was known for his wacky sock selection. So maybe you could remind people that red was your MIL's favorite color and ask them to wear a bit of red in her honor. I do think touches of red would be more tasteful than a church full of red ensembles. Anyway, I think it will be a very nice way to personalize the services and bring a smile to people's faces.

[Ohiogirl81]

I like the idea of sharing with family and friends that red was her favorite color, and asking them to wear red to honor her. You could even put that request in her obituary.

I'm sorry your family is going through this. My best to you.

[lauramc27]

Thank you all for your responses.

My husband and his brother will be making the arrangements for her funeral, so I will ask my husbands brother what his feelings are also.

I do have a nice cardigan that I wear with black slacks and it is a white background with red roses and some black, I got it from White House / Black Market. I may wear that because it still has red but is also appropriate.

[tamiznluv]

Originally Posted by lauramc27

Thank you all for your responses.

My husband and his brother will be making the arrangements for her funeral, so I will ask my husbands brother what his feelings are also.

I do have a nice cardigan that I wear with black slacks and it is a white background with red roses and some black, I got it from White House / Black Market. I may wear that because it still has red but is also appropriate.

That sounds like a lovely idea, laura.