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Can't you have a grave even when cremated? I had an uncle who wished to be cremated and his family respected his wish after his death. His ashes were then buried in his wife's grave, who had died a few years before.
EDIT: Sorry, just read the above posts, but anyway.
Yes, you definitely can, but she originally wanted her ashes strewn over the sea, since the water meant so much to her in life, which was the whole point of being cremated. I suppose they could have cremated her and interred the ashes, but that's wasn't the choice made.
I work with a woman who used to be in the Navy. Someone on the ship died, and he was cremated. The family asked that his ashes be buried at sea, so the Navy made arrangements to do that with a full military ceremony and agreed to videotape the ceremony and send it to the family.
She said that just at the point when they began to scatter the ashes overboard, a gust of wind blew them back into the faces of the people standing at the rail. I think they edited the tape so the family wouldn't see that.
When my mother-in-law was dying, she wanted to be cremated, but my SIL balked at the idea, telling her mother that she would rather have a grave to visit (I thought this was completely selfish but it wasn't my conversation to have.) So, finally my MIL said, OK, bury me, but just whatever you do, don't bury me next to your father! He's in NJ and she's in Florida, so that part worked out well, but now I wonder, 21 years later, if the sister-in-law even ever visits the grave anyway. She moved to a different part of the state years ago and is probably 5 hours away.
You know...when you really think about it...its really all kind of superficial where a person gets buried after cremation with except perhaps for sentimental reasons , the convenience of subsequently visiting deceased loved ones in the same general location , and if it were the deceased final wishes . When my dad was cremated some 5 years ago, i looked into the cremation process online including videos out of curiousity ; I learned that the cremated ashes that are handed over to the family come from only two leg bones which the heat cannot totally breakdown . These two leg bones are then put thru a machine called a Pulverizer where they are grinded into fine dust particles and scooped up to be placed in the Urn that they give you. Thus, the cremation process is for the total destruction of the human body that is now void of a Soul and Spirit (the REAL inner person) , and is the cheapest way of Body elimination. Consideration to the above is why i conclude that all the family squabbles that result from who the ashes should be buried with , seems a tad inconsequential in reality and certainly not worth holding grudges over for often many years to come.
Yes, you definitely can, but she originally wanted her ashes strewn over the sea, since the water meant so much to her in life, which was the whole point of being cremated. I suppose they could have cremated her and interred the ashes, but that's wasn't the choice made.
A portion of the ashes could have been put into the sea, and the remainder where the daughter wanted.
I divided the ashes of a friend so he could be in two places.
...She said that just at the point when they began to scatter the ashes overboard, a gust of wind blew them back into the faces of the people standing at the rail. I think they edited the tape so the family wouldn't see that.
That happened to me when I was the one selected to dispose of the ashes of someone. It was a day with very rough waves and a strong wind, but there we were. It was necessary to actually strip and go into the sea with them as the waves were crashing on the beach and gouging the sand away. I managed to get in, overturned the box with the open bag of ashes and at that point a huge gust of wind blew the grit into my eyes, nostrils and mouth. The deceased was a bit of an SOB, so it seemed appropriate that this should happen. I ducked under the next big wave, overturned what was left in the box......and that was it.
I was reading about Clark Gable.. whos wife Carole Lomabard was killed in a plane crash during WW2.. both her and Clark had made arrangements to be buried together.. Caroles mother was also killed with her so both Carole and her mum went into wall crypts more or close to each other.... Clark remarried but his wife made sure that when he died in the 60s he was put in the space he had asked for next to Carole... thats fine but then she the new Mrs Gable gets herself put in a tomb to the left hand side of Gable.. I just wondered if this has happend a lot...
Seems totally appropriate to me. I have relatives buried with two spouses.
I saw a tomb in Ireland where a man buried the two wives who predeceased him next to each other, then his third wife buried him next to them, and when she died she was buried next to him.
When my father died, I was in my late twenties and unmarried. My mother and I arranged to buy a plot in a church cemetery, but she actually finally went and made the payment, etc.
Not too long after the funeral, before I left for my own home several hundred miles away, my mother and I visited the grave. And there was the tombstone already in place: with my father's name and dates, my mother's name and birth date, my deceased sister's names and the note that she was buried in another town, and then my name with my birth date.
I was really chagrined and said so. Did she assume that my life had stopped at this point and that there was no possibilty of spouse or children? She snapped, "This is where you should be buried, with your family!!!!" I dropped it and did not point out that she was not to be buried with her family, though, indeed, my sister is buried with my mother's family and not where we lived. There was no point in ever pursuing it, my mother was always a demanding and emotional bully.
When she died I simply had the stone carver remove my name and date from the stone while he was putting on her death date.
What causes you to be so snippy with me, redwolf? I'm not a know it all. I learn from experience or other's experiences.
I figured that once the Government had gone to the trouble of interring hubby in a niche and I got buried, they would not uninter him and put him in with me if I chose to be buried. The point is moot since I plan on cremation but it's nice to know if cremation wasn't what I wanted for me.
I just found out that even if you are cremated, you can be buried in a grave.
I didn't know this either until recently. A friend's mother recently passed away and she advised me of this.
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A taste of the deceased
