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Old 07-25-2012, 05:40 PM
 
Location: Mammoth Lakes, CA
3,088 posts, read 6,627,609 times
Reputation: 7126

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Quote:
Know that you can speak to her anytime you wish now as she's in your heart.
Granny, thank you so much. This is especially meaningful to me now.
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Old 07-25-2012, 05:42 PM
 
Location: Mammoth Lakes, CA
3,088 posts, read 6,627,609 times
Reputation: 7126
Mathguy, I also want to thank you. Your words touched my heart. Thanks to everyone. I guess no one would be here if they had not lost someone dear to them. So all of you understand the grief, sadness and anguish I am going through. Hugs to all of you.
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Old 11-30-2012, 05:28 PM
 
3 posts, read 10,868 times
Reputation: 19
I am so sorry for your pain, and it is true, the outcast family member is sometimes the most normal. I have an older sibling who has never accepted me. She is now using the last months of our mother's life to continue to abuse me, just like we were kids again. I am not allowed to visit my mother either. She has made stuff up and it is so hard to keep on fighting. For me it was best to say goodbye. My Mother knows that I love her. It is evil when family members think that they can do this.
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Old 11-30-2012, 05:58 PM
 
5,210 posts, read 8,807,408 times
Reputation: 5865
I understand your pain. I can't even imagine how awful being in your position would feel. To not only be banned from seeing your own mother but to be ostracized by your own siblings....awful.

I think I would try to send my mom a present or a letter and see if that sparks a request to see me. If so, maybe the nursing home could arrange a private visit between you and your mom. Other than that, I might try mending some fences with my family members, including Bob, if at all possible.

The last thing that I would want to do would be to create chaos, angry words anywhere near my mom, especially if she was in a fragile state. If your presence in the room would create an overall bad vibe at your mother's death bed, I think I would stay away. You would not be staying away because you were bullied out. Instead you would be staying away out of love - because you want your mom's passing to be as gentle and peaceful as possible.

Alzheimer's is such a cruel disease. I'm so sorry.
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Old 11-30-2012, 06:17 PM
 
Location: Lexington, Kentucky
6,274 posts, read 3,571,701 times
Reputation: 11070
I just read this thread, and it is so heartbreaking and sad.
Sometimes people can just be so unspeakably cruel.
I am so sorry for your loss.
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Old 11-30-2012, 06:42 PM
 
26,163 posts, read 14,457,966 times
Reputation: 17235
Someday i hope his family realise how mean and cruel they have been to him
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Old 12-01-2012, 08:31 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,431 posts, read 18,144,759 times
Reputation: 18811
Quote:
Originally Posted by alabamaspitfire View Post
I am so sorry for your pain, and it is true, the outcast family member is sometimes the most normal. I have an older sibling who has never accepted me. She is now using the last months of our mother's life to continue to abuse me, just like we were kids again. I am not allowed to visit my mother either. She has made stuff up and it is so hard to keep on fighting. For me it was best to say goodbye. My Mother knows that I love her. It is evil when family members think that they can do this.
I'm sorry to hear you are going through the same thing, spitfire. Sounds like a case of pure jealousy on your sister's part. Do you have any siblings younger than you too?

Is your sister a mother? I can't imagine any woman who has children keeping HER mother's child away from her at the end of the mother's life. I say that because any woman who has had children should know the bond that should exsist.

My bond only exsists one way now but I'd love to see her when I'm on my death bed but I know I never will.
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Old 12-01-2012, 04:58 PM
 
26,163 posts, read 14,457,966 times
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Yes i am so sorry spitfire she is doing this to you!!!

All i can do is hope she comes to her senses someday and realises what she is doing!!

God bless you......
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Old 12-05-2012, 02:13 PM
 
Location: Mammoth Lakes, CA
3,088 posts, read 6,627,609 times
Reputation: 7126
Just an update: I am the original person who posted this. I never did see my mother before she passed away, in July. Her husband was stubborn to the end and I gave up the last 4 or 5 days of her life. I knew I wouldn't see her before she passed away and "came to terms with that," or at least tried to. I have a lot of resentment and anger against my mother's husband, but my hate doesn't hurt him, it just brings me down, so I try to let go of it.
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Old 12-05-2012, 02:40 PM
 
26,163 posts, read 14,457,966 times
Reputation: 17235
I dont blame you for holding onto it,YOU WERE TREATED QUITE BADLY and im very saddend by it!!!

You have every right to be upset
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