Washed the Car today/Widow-Widowers Thread ?

[tamiznluv]

Had to call a repairman the other day for the washer. Hubby always did that. Guy fixed it and didn't chop off an arm and a leg. Yay!

[sera]

Yeah for you Tami !

Saturday, went to favorite nearby town, 30 miles ! by myself. Just something I neede/wanted to do. Enjoyed visiting the library, there, dropped off some magazine DH enjoyed and a bonus, started chatting with a woman who was
delighted at the varities of the folks recycle.

Had first, walked up steep hills, went to a farmer's market; returned to the car, then ventured out to find directions
to where the temporary library was located (it's being retrofitted? for earthquakes ? ! ). Found the temporary library,
then asked the woman I was talking to where the fairgrounds were located.

Enjoyed a small country faire, then went to where I purchased b-b-q, my favorite place. All and all, me, myself and I
had a good time, especially talking to friendly folk!

Venturing out for the day with your own company, have you done this yourself or would you?

[JanND]

Originally Posted by tamiznluv

sera, I'm not sure I understand your objective of this thread. Washing a car? I don't "do" car washing. I'm just too darned lazy and let nature take care of it when it rains.

Other than that I still don't see what this thread is supposed to be all about. We have many threads that people contribute to on an almost daily basis.

Obviously this thread is for those of us that are trying to put one foot in front of the other, day to day after losing a loved one. It is in the Grief and Mourning forum....

[JanND]

Originally Posted by tngirl205

One thing that I might add to this post that I think the OP might have intended......for the last few years, my husband started teaching me how to do things around the house. Things that he always did, repairs and such. Airing up the tires on the lawnmower, changing oil, etc.

I think he knew he was failing and he wanted me to be able to do as much as I could. In fact, I know this because a neighbor confided to me that he told her this. How thoughtful and caring that he wanted to teach me how to take better care of myself. He always told me that I could do anything I set my mind to.

So today, now that I am alone, I am washing the car, doing all the household chores and repairs, and those that I cannot, I have wonderful friends and neighbors that are always there to lend a helping hand. I know he is looking down on me and feeling proud.

What a sweet post. Good for you.

[tamiznluv]

Originally Posted by tamiznluv

sera, I'm not sure I understand your objective of this thread. Washing a car? I don't "do" car washing. I'm just too darned lazy and let nature take care of it when it rains.

Other than that I still don't see what this thread is supposed to be all about. We have many threads that people contribute to on an almost daily basis.

Originally Posted by JanND

Obviously this thread is for those of us that are trying to put one foot in front of the other, day to day after losing a loved one. It is in the Grief and Mourning forum....

Obviously I didn't "get it" when sera first made this thread but obviously I do now. Obviously you didn't "get" that I had "gotten it".

[tamiznluv]

When the heat and humidity and the rain leave at the begining of next week, I am going to try and lay down a carpet my hubby got into the house but was never able to install it. The old padding is still down, TG. I have the basic idea of how to do it, I have watched the guys who installed carpets in my homes before so I think all I need is a brandy new cutter for the floor vent smack in the middle of the floor! If I don't do so well, oh well, it's the spare bedroom.

[tngirl205]

tami.....YOU GO GIRL!!

[smilinpretty]

Two months since my loss of my DH. I find I am struggling due to depression and grief. The reality that I am all alone by myself has hit home. I think the worst part after sharing my life with him for 38 years is the loneliness and the fact I am considered single in a couples environment. I feel like a odd duck.

[tngirl205]

Originally Posted by smilinpretty

Two months since my loss of my DH. I find I am struggling due to depression and grief. The reality that I am all alone by myself has hit home. I think the worst part after sharing my life with him for 38 years is the loneliness and the fact I am considered single in a couples environment. I feel like a odd duck.

smilinpretty, I am so very sorry for your loss. I can certainly relate to how you are feeling. My husband passed away 4-1-12 after being married for 32 years.

I too am all alone; none of my family lives near me. But I do have wonderful friends, a loving and supportive work family, and a new church family that has welcomed me with opened arms. It has made such a difference in my life.

I am so conscious now whenever I go anywhere about seeing couples together. How I wish that was me! I find it difficult to even go to the grocery store and see all the things I used to buy for him. I don't go out to eat alone. Even couples on the tv....well, I envy them. They are all constant reminders that I am alone now.

As I'm sure you will find, there will be better days and many not-so-good days. It has gotten easier for me and I am hoping the same will be in your life, too. I have found it so helpful to post on this forum as writing my feelings down and sharing them is sort of theraputic for me. I am hoping you will do the same thing, as we are all going through this new, painful life. I thought I was prepared for this and tried to prepare myself for life alone as my husband had been ill for quite some time. But I could not have prepared myself for the reality of this new life. I am experiencing all sorts of new feelings and pain.

It's hard for me to put into words how I feel; this after always being able to write freely about things in the past. I can only tell you to take one day at a time; one hour if that makes it any better. Grief at your own pace, do what is best for you. A support group might help; talking to my pastor was immensely helpful to me. Try to eat good food and take good care of yourself, even though you may not feel like it.

May God bless you and give you the strength to go on. Have faith in Him that He will always be there for you.

tngirl

[CArizona]

When I went to the grocery store yesterday a clerk who knew my husband and son asked me how I was doing with my "new life." (With just my cats!)...This was nice!...When my husband died I kept doing things the "same way" at first. (I followed long-established procedures!)..But little by little I've been "experimenting" and finding new ways to do things. Has anyone else gone through this? Thanks.