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Old 07-14-2012, 10:59 PM
 
Location: WA
604 posts, read 527,604 times
Reputation: 2050

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As it was a beautiful day in the Pacific NW, just had to wash the car today, so dusty! As I washed it,
remembered my husband instructing me how to wash the car when he was alive. There is a certain way!

There have been several Threads about life after a spouse departs, the challenges, joys, questions of starting to live solo once again. Perhaps those challenges, joys, questions could be answered here?
Asked the moderator first about a Sticky? The moderator said as long as we keep Posting or something like that.

In the Grief and Bereavement Group, a young gentleman needed to know about cooking. Wrote suggestions to him and a couple of easy recipes.

As a recent widow, February,2012, some folks cannot seem to comprehend or have forgotten the early stages of grief i.e. letting go of a loved one's possessions. This is to be a safe place to Post how you feel, no right or wrong, no critcism. Some days are better than others; sometimes I am more sensitive,
easily hurt, fragile.

Thank you. Look forward to your Posts.
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Old 07-15-2012, 11:10 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,428 posts, read 18,139,040 times
Reputation: 18793
sera, I'm not sure I understand your objective of this thread. Washing a car? I don't "do" car washing. I'm just too darned lazy and let nature take care of it when it rains.

Other than that I still don't see what this thread is supposed to be all about. We have many threads that people contribute to on an almost daily basis.
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Old 07-15-2012, 06:35 PM
 
Location: WA
604 posts, read 527,604 times
Reputation: 2050
Tami,

DH would wash the car; this Tread would deal with doing things our spouses usually did; also questions i.e. when do you quit, if you do, stop wearing your wedding rings. How to tell if you have adult children, I am not ready to sell furniture just yet i.e. piano-DH only gone three weeks.

My husband was my protector; how to say NO without guilt Guess it's time I grew up, learn to take care of myself once again.

Thanks Tami.
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Old 07-15-2012, 07:09 PM
 
Location: Olympia, WA
363 posts, read 405,024 times
Reputation: 699
Default Things he taught me

One thing that I might add to this post that I think the OP might have intended......for the last few years, my husband started teaching me how to do things around the house. Things that he always did, repairs and such. Airing up the tires on the lawnmower, changing oil, etc.

I think he knew he was failing and he wanted me to be able to do as much as I could. In fact, I know this because a neighbor confided to me that he told her this. How thoughtful and caring that he wanted to teach me how to take better care of myself. He always told me that I could do anything I set my mind to.

So today, now that I am alone, I am washing the car, doing all the household chores and repairs, and those that I cannot, I have wonderful friends and neighbors that are always there to lend a helping hand. I know he is looking down on me and feeling proud.
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Old 08-07-2012, 11:31 AM
 
Location: "Daytonnati"
4,245 posts, read 5,747,512 times
Reputation: 2953
For me it is cooking. My partner was the cook and my cooking skills atrophied. So I had to find my own way in the kitchen, or teach myself to cook. Im not really there yet, but I cook different than my partner did or that I used to way back before we met....so establishing a kitchen routine and ordering the kitchen for myself was a way of ....what...moving beyond?
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Old 08-07-2012, 01:48 PM
 
Location: Philaburbia
31,153 posts, read 57,274,608 times
Reputation: 52008
Seeing as I was 44 and a homeowner when we moved in together, my spouse couldn't teach me much.

There are things that may not be in the state they're in if he were still here -- the fence would be finished, the shed would be tidier, etc. There are things I wish I'd paid more attention to, such as putting together the model train under the Christmas tree every year and installing/uninstalling the window air conditioners in the upstairs bedrooms. I'll get there.
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Old 08-07-2012, 04:09 PM
 
Location: SWFL
21,428 posts, read 18,139,040 times
Reputation: 18793
Ah, the a/c. Hubby told me last year to just put a tarp on the floor by the window and just leave it there. I did and put that sucker in last month by myself. Took me a while to get it right but I did it!
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Old 08-07-2012, 09:15 PM
 
Location: West Michigan
12,214 posts, read 7,340,869 times
Reputation: 7038
Good for you Sera. The first time we do anything without our spouses can be a mixed bag of emotions and stresses. This past weekend, for example, I went to a wedding by myself for the first time in over 40 years. The anticipation was by far the worse part. I had a wonderful time at the reception and only threatened to tear up during the ceremony where others would have just chalked it up to happy tears for the bride and groom.
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Old 08-09-2012, 09:45 PM
 
Location: WA
604 posts, read 527,604 times
Reputation: 2050
Dayton Sux, Ohiogirl, Tami, Wayland Woman,

Kudos on your accomplishments !

The day you Posted, was the day I got the courage to unplug the numerous plugs with the assistance of an understanding neighbor, take the computer to the shop and get sound again. Update, managed, with prayers! to get it replugged and ! Viola! sh-h-h, it's working so far!

Yes, it using skills I may have put on the back burner, claiming the house as my own and yes, Wayland Woman, it is
a mixed bag of emotions and stresses.

Thank you each for sharing.
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Old 08-10-2012, 12:04 AM
 
Location: Las Vegas
13,432 posts, read 24,199,022 times
Reputation: 24745
I was always the Jill of all trades around the house and I guess now that's lucky for me. I know how to do most things. What I hadn't done in almost 40 years was pay a bill! That's one thing that was always H's job.

Every time I pay bills It feels odd like I shouldn't be doing this.
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