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Old 07-22-2012, 05:51 PM
Location: In the Pearl of the Purchase, Ky
6,959 posts, read 12,375,199 times
Reputation: 29138


Sera, my parents' 66th anniversary was March 2 and Mama passed away from colon cancer on March 14. Daddy did his best. He go back in his usual routine doing everything he always had. But he was ready to move. Everywhere he looked he saw Mama. Her tea cup and tea pot, her chair and her magazines that came in the mail that day, just everything. He decided to move to an assisted living facility here in town (he's 90) and we don't think he has regretted it. He doesn't have to go home to an empty house any more, there were friends of his there and he has met new friends. He has 3 hot meals a day (doctor fussed at him for gaining 9 lbs. in about 6 weeks! lol) and he's still got his pick up so he can take a little drive and even come and visit us here in town.
An older church friend had a poem handed to everybody at his funeral 10 years or so ago and it has stuck in my mind.
Miss me but let me go, by Betty Miller

When I come to the end of the road,
And the sun has set for me,
I want no rites in gloom-filled rooms,
Why cry for a soul set free?
Miss me a little--but not too long,
And not with your head bowed low;
Remember the love that we once shared
Miss me--but let me go.
For this is a journey that we all must take,
And each must go alone.
It's all a part of the Master's plan,
A step on the road to home.
When you are lonely and sick at heart,
Go to the friends we know,
And busy your sorrows in doing good deeds.
Miss me - but let me go.

You're in our prayers.
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Old 07-22-2012, 06:13 PM
Location: Not where you ever lived
11,544 posts, read 25,075,396 times
Reputation: 6183
My first year is coming up soon. My daughter is in Hospice and I'm still trying to figure out how to cook for one.
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Old 07-22-2012, 06:43 PM
Location: WA
604 posts, read 527,784 times
Reputation: 2050

Prayers for you. Suggestion, as I too am cooking for one, when I cook, the extra amount of food it for another meal. Usually cook every other day. Salads are great; soup, homemade you can freeze. Canned soup, is usually for two
meals, I watch the sodium content with canned soups, look for 500 mg or less.

Then too, enjoy having company. Even if I have to go out and purchase a cooked meal, enjoy the fellowship. Note:
wonderful recipe I was given for Oriental chicken. Made it for my birthday, along with a salad, invited a couple of
friends and had a Happy Birthday!
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Old 07-22-2012, 06:56 PM
Location: South Carolina
13,104 posts, read 17,640,353 times
Reputation: 22444
well dont take this the wrong way ladies but all of you got to say goodbye I did not get that my husband was run over while jogging and he died on the way to the hospital in the back of an ambulance and the man who ran over him also died a few weeks later from the stress of killing someone . I was told by a nurse over the phone mind you that my husband had died while enroute to the hospital and i shoudl get to the hospital so I could sign the papers so his body coudl be picked up by the funeral home . I did not even have a funeral home picked out did not even know of one thank god for my cousin because she really helped me . she dropped her entire life in chicago and moved in with me and started showing me how to pick up the pieces she had gone through this very thing 5 yrs before when her husband died of a massive heart attack . So you see that is why I say you ladies are lucky because you got to say goodbye some of us did not get that last goodbye . sorry it is still emotional for me 18 yrs later . Im remarried but the love is different and always will be and my current husband knows it .
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Old 07-22-2012, 08:59 PM
Location: Not where you ever lived
11,544 posts, read 25,075,396 times
Reputation: 6183
I didn't get to say goodby. My spouse died in the middle of the night. I found the corpse on the floor in a pool of blood. I didn't bother me as much as I expected as I watched my spouse die a day at a time for 25 years. I didn't have a funeral. My SIL said it too soon because our SIL was buried 3 days earlier.!!! They did not have the courtesy to send a card.

I'll have a private memorial next month. I never understood why my spouse never wanted to visit the family or mother. Now I do, the brothers and sisters really did not like their sibling. Quite frankly I don't either. It was a waste of money to force my spouse to see "the family".

MIL was in a nursing home for four years before she died at age 99. We drove the 1000 miles 4 times a year for 15 years to see mother. She loved our standard Poodle. He went to the nursing home too. She always smiled when she saw Teddy and played with him. These are the "family" memories I cherish.

My spouse was cremated. Where ever we go, we will be together. For me it is the last and most important thing I can do for us.
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Old 07-22-2012, 10:01 PM
Location: WA
604 posts, read 527,784 times
Reputation: 2050

No need to apologize. The gentleman to whom I spoke at the cremantion society said a person's death, affects everyone differently.

As you were bless by the care of your cousin, I was bless to have 25 Years additional life with my husband. At age 40,
he fell down a flight of stairs and lived. Months later, he was diagnosed with a closed head injury. He appeared "normal",
folks would question him if he was really disabled. In brief, he had the knowledge, could tell others how to do things,
though couldn't transmit from his brain to his hands as far as his career. Wires got crossed!

Am truly sorry for your loss, yours too linicx, especially dealing with his family.
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