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This past Tuesday, coming to the realization husband is no longer with me, now resides in Heaven.
Wednesday, 5 1/2 months since his transition.
Thursday, PST 10:45 was preparing 42 years ago for our wedding, First Baptist Church, Oakland, CA.
We were bless with two sons, he came to know Jesus Christ as his Lord and Savior and my MN boy
was bless to leave CA and live in WA for his remaining years. Right now, he would be riding his
tractor or doing something in the yard he so enjoyed.
More likely, we would be planning to dine somewhere; last year on the marina at a fine restaurant
and remember, for the first time, our complimentary dessert, how he so enjoyed sticky pudding with fresh creme on top! (Believe it's well known in the United Kingdom-a date confection).
To envision him, he looked French Canadian, silly grin, always telling a joke-dry sense of humor, even
in his last days at the nursing home. VERY protective of me, his family. God was so good, our last words to each other "I Love You."
Thank you for allowing me to share, each of you are so kind.
I've heard them called sadiversaries instead of anniversaries, after a spouse died. That seems fitting to me. Whatever you call them I agree with Yellowsnow that they are one of the things that makes the first year so hard. Thanks for sharing yours, Sera.
Our anniversary was just one month to the day after my husband passed. No one else remembered - not my mother, siblings... I told, didn't ask, my son to take me out to dine so that I didn't sit at home moping.
There are many holidays which I no longer enjoy, Fathers Day being one.
It really does get better. Don't get me wrong, it'll never be the same. I remember that date, see it coming every month.
Location: West of the Catalinas East of the Tortolitas
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My dh died October 26, and his 60th birthday would have been Nov. 3. I had his gifts, cards, and all the kids cards had arrived. Then, two weeks later, Thanksgiving, two weeks after that, my 58th birthday Dec. 10th, and two weeks after that, Christmas. It was the hardest 6 weeks of my life, whereas they were always the busiest, happiest, most joyful 6 weeks when he was alive. Spent those holidays alone. Family has never lived in AZ. At that time, kids were in Europe (Hungary), Texas and Kansas with their own families. Sil was in Denver, so it was just youngest son and me. I've since had 3 more holiday seasons, 3 more wedding anniversaries, and 3 more Valentine's Days. It does get better. You learn to celebrate alone, in your own way, if you want, or just acknowledge the day, but don't dwell on it. Everyone is different. Last month, it was our 39th anniversary. It was a Saturday, so I watched Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid, his favorite movie and heard him saying the lines with Butch and the kid. I made myself a small crab topped filet mignon and had a glass of Bailey's Irish Cream. My son was out with friends, which was actually very helpful. I looked through our wedding album, and cried. But it was good. Sweet. Sad. Loving.
First off, let me just say that I'm so incredibly sorry for your loss. Your husband seemed like an incredible man who definitely had a lot of his priorities right and truly loved and cared for his family with all his heart. I can only imagine how incredibly difficult it must be for you now that the reality is really starting to set in. I so wish that I could help you rid yourself of the pain, suffering, and sorrow that you're feeling, but the best advice that I can give you is just to keep going along. Keep putting one foot in the front of the other. It may be extremely hard to think so now, but eventually things will begin to settle and you'll begin to accept (or, at least, get accustomed to) your new reality. Time will help to heal your wounds and ease your heart. At the very least, you know in your heart that your husband is in a better place and can watch over you and your family forever. I truly do believe that our loved ones never really leave us and that they always help us along our own life paths one way or the other. You'll always miss your husband, but, as I said, things will keep on getting better as time moves on. Like I said, just keep at it and keep putting one foot in front of the other and continuing on. Life is one giant adventure and you never know where it'll take you next.
Thank you for sharing with all of us. You are in my thoughts and prayers.
I think we all have 'those' days that remind us of our loved one who left us. We were married on Xmas Eve and that has pretty much made Christmas a day of loss. It gets better but I don't think you ever forget 'those' days.
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