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Old 08-02-2012, 09:34 AM
 
Location: Glasgow Scotland
14,511 posts, read 11,495,704 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Weatherfan2 View Post
I wonder whether people will care when you die, Hmm. I know that when certain people die there's a tangible sense of relief in my heart.
how sad you are... you just dont get it..
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Old 08-02-2012, 10:12 AM
 
455 posts, read 487,256 times
Reputation: 770
My thing is, people can be jerks and well beyond that even (may be the opinion some people in the world may have of people posting here) but, who cares, right?! Where's the lie in being silent? Noone has to fudge their feelings but if what you've got to say makes you look as bad as the one you criticize (and most times it does) just nod, clean up your own ugliness and keep it movin........
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Old 08-02-2012, 10:14 AM
 
Location: southern california
55,237 posts, read 72,427,088 times
Reputation: 47455
the mean people that die are few and far between, meanness seems to prolong life.
its the nice ones that die quick.
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Old 08-02-2012, 10:20 AM
 
455 posts, read 487,256 times
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I might add, saying, " I have nothing positive to say" is an option!
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Old 08-02-2012, 12:20 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
16,488 posts, read 15,932,856 times
Reputation: 38807
Quote:
Originally Posted by MaryleeII View Post
If you're hit up for a group flower gift, simply say you prefer not. You don't have to give an explanation.

I was constantly hit up at work for flowers, gifts, etc, etc, for every employee. these were the same people who wouldn't give me the time of day. I was hospitalized for about a month, I didn't get a single card, let alone some big floral gift. When approached about donating for other employees, I simply acted a bit surprised, and said, oh, I didn't think you folks did that anymore. Oh, what gave you that idea? Oh, when I was in the hospital, I didn't receive anything, so, I guess....I thought you had stopped that?

Look, I'm sick of always giving gifts and not getting so much as a thank you in return. If I have money for gifts, it goes to my kids, TH with anyone else!

Although this is slightly off topic here goes...

Good for you.

That is a good reason for businesses to have a "Sunshine Committee" or something like that. A collection is made once a year and then rules are followed. For example, everyone who is in the hospital gets a card and a certain size flower arrangement from the whole staff. Every wedding or shower gift from the staff was the same size. Where I worked it was $12 a year for full time employees and you didn't have those envelopes going around or people collected a few dollars every week for something.

At one job I had something similiar happen to me. Apparently, that small school had a tradition of very big after work birthday celebrations with staff members buying individual gifts for the person with the birthday. Most of the staff were young and single and their social life revolved around their coworkers. Right around the time that I started there, some of the staff were getting fed up with the huge expense so it was decided that the staff would stop the huge parties and not give any birthday gifts at all. Previously, the fellow teachers would bring in treats and not the birthday woman/man. It was decided that they would start having the person with the birthday bring in treats for the entire staff.

It turned out that my birthday was the first one to come up after the new rules, so of course I brought in a nice treat for everyone. And since everyone else followed the rules they didn't throw me a party with gifts & food.

About three weeks later was the birthday of the immediate supervisor. First Susie said "She loves my pies, so I will bring in some pies for her birthday", then Mary said "She loves my home-made candy so I will bring some in" then Joan said "She bought me such a nice gift on my birthday so I have to buy her something nice, too." So it was informally decided since she was the immediate supervisor, just this once they would have the "old style" celebration. So, we did. Well, the next birthday was a big milestone birthday for the beloved secretary so another "exception" to the new policy was made. And, it's hard to believe, but the next birthday was for the director (our boss) and people said "We have to have a big party for him, because he is our boss".

You probably guessed what happened. The school ended up going back to the old tradition of huge birthday parties with lots of food and gifts provided by fellow staff members for each birthday. I was there just under one year, and my birthday was the only one without a party & gifts and I was the only person to bring in their own birthday treat. This was many years ago but I still ocassionally think about it and am annoyed.

Thank you for letting me vent.
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Old 08-02-2012, 01:09 PM
 
15,192 posts, read 16,049,554 times
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Here are some non-commital things to say when someone dies and you didn't really like the person.

"I'm sure he'll be missed."
"I know it's been hard on you."
"I'm so sorry to hear that."

You don't have to lie and you don't have to say "He was an a$$hole" either. Acknowledge the passing and move on.
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Old 08-02-2012, 01:39 PM
 
14,752 posts, read 27,531,502 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by germaine2626 View Post
Apparently even dying of a fast moving cancer didn't change him. I was told that while he was literally on his death-bed he was still texting other women.
Now, that's a POS. Exactly. People like this, and I have other twists on the plot, don't require our sympathy.
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Old 08-02-2012, 01:41 PM
 
14,752 posts, read 27,531,502 times
Reputation: 8732
Quote:
Originally Posted by Huckleberry3911948 View Post
the mean people that die are few and far between, meanness seems to prolong life.
its the nice ones that die quick.
Good one, Huck.

In Italy there's an expression: "Cattiveria conserva," or meanness preserves, or prolongs, life.

Why does God have such a weird sense of humor?
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Old 08-02-2012, 01:48 PM
 
Location: Orlando
8,181 posts, read 16,160,994 times
Reputation: 49735
I appreciate those who get what I'm trying to get at.

It's always nice to hear what other's would say should they be in the same situation.

Luckily it's never happened that someone has come up to me to tell me their sad news and I had to look at them blankly, turn around and say nothing. I would be horrified at myself if that should happen.

Marlow, those are very good suggestions.

Maybe I can put some of these suggestions in my last wishes so those that I've annoyed throughout my life will have something to say.
Kinda like my last favor.
I jest...kinda...maybe.
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Old 08-03-2012, 01:13 AM
 
Location: 900 miles from my home in 80814
4,669 posts, read 6,742,826 times
Reputation: 7078
Quote:
Originally Posted by Weatherfan2 View Post
I wonder whether people will care when you die, Hmm. I know that when certain people die there's a tangible sense of relief in my heart.
Yikes! Other than Osama Bin Laden, Saddam Hussein, and other extremely horrific murderers and despots, I really can't say I was relieved when anyone died. Obviously the death of people I've been close to (parents, brother, sister and husband) have been gut wrenching, and others I might not have known well or at all aren't as devestating, but I doubt I've ever had a sense of relief that someone died, even if they were suffering terribly. I may have been grateful that they were finally pain free and at peace, but relieved? No. I don't believe you can be relieved that someone died, especially when they leave behind people who loved and cared about them.
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