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Old 08-20-2012, 03:23 AM
 
Location: southern born and southern bred
12,480 posts, read 14,342,341 times
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sorry about everyone's losses.

Tony, it doesn't seem 4 months to me either since your dad passed. Gee,I recall the first post you made about his illness. he did so well for a bit but when he started going down,he went down fast.

Tami--7 months since your hubby died? It doesn't seem that long.

Jeepers and crickeys--death and illness all around us. ~sigh~ all a part of living. A journey we all shall take.

I firmly believe we will see our loved ones again. Immediately after crossing over..............hugs to all.
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Old 08-20-2012, 07:13 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn,NY
1,961 posts, read 4,151,728 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PippySkiddles View Post
sorry about everyone's losses.

Tony, it doesn't seem 4 months to me either since your dad passed. Gee,I recall the first post you made about his illness. he did so well for a bit but when he started going down,he went down fast.

Tami--7 months since your hubby died? It doesn't seem that long.

Jeepers and crickeys--death and illness all around us. ~sigh~ all a part of living. A journey we all shall take.

I firmly believe we will see our loved ones again. Immediately after crossing over..............hugs to all.
I couldn't believe the news that he had cancer. He was a really healthy guy who never smoked or drank. He was always working out. All I hear everyone is the word cancer. It's really terrible. He was doing so well when he started the chemo. After 8 rounds, his body couldn't take it anymore and he was in and out of the hospital. He decided it was enough and he didn't want any more chemo. The days before he passed, he couldn't walk, talk, eat and swallow anything. He was also turning yellow. Way too young to die.
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Old 08-20-2012, 09:08 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,351 posts, read 18,099,938 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by juneaubound View Post
Tam I did not mean to sound as though I was criticizing anyone else here or their own responses. That definitely was not my intention.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Sam I Am View Post
Juneau, I don't think that's what Tam meant either. Of course it is a forum for everyone - threads morph a little bit all the time and grow to include many people other than the original poster. I agree with Tam - we all want to know that we are not alone. Everyone's situation is unique, but at the bottom of it all most of us have experienced huge losses in our lives.

Peace to all today. Hopefully, it will help to share just a little bit. We all definitely understand that.
juneau, Sam is correct. I never thought you were criticizing. I was just trying to say that anyone's comment can segway another(s) into "talking" and having conversation. Feel free to join in more often if you like.

Tony, not only did my husband turn yellow, his skin was turning black too! Both were from his liver shutting down. After death he stayed yellow but the black disappeared.
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Old 08-20-2012, 10:56 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn,NY
1,961 posts, read 4,151,728 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamiznluv View Post
juneau, Sam is correct. I never thought you were criticizing. I was just trying to say that anyone's comment can segway another(s) into "talking" and having conversation. Feel free to join in more often if you like.

Tony, not only did my husband turn yellow, his skin was turning black too! Both were from his liver shutting down. After death he stayed yellow but the black disappeared.
My dad's eyes were turning yellow a couple of weeks before he passed away. His body was turning yellow 2 days before he passed away. We had hospice for him in the house. They provided us with a bed. They were really nice. I just hated to see my dad taking morphine after morphine to relax him. He developed ascites so we were supposed to drain him everyday. We had to stop doing that because everytime we drained him, he was in pain =(
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Old 08-21-2012, 11:07 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,351 posts, read 18,099,938 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tony22 View Post
My dad's eyes were turning yellow a couple of weeks before he passed away. His body was turning yellow 2 days before he passed away. We had hospice for him in the house. They provided us with a bed. They were really nice. I just hated to see my dad taking morphine after morphine to relax him. He developed ascites so we were supposed to drain him everyday. We had to stop doing that because everytime we drained him, he was in pain =(
I'm so sorry, Tony.
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Old 08-21-2012, 02:37 PM
 
29,988 posts, read 35,800,156 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tony22 View Post
I couldn't believe the news that he had cancer. He was a really healthy guy who never smoked or drank. He was always working out. All I hear everyone is the word cancer. It's really terrible. He was doing so well when he started the chemo. After 8 rounds, his body couldn't take it anymore and he was in and out of the hospital. He decided it was enough and he didn't want any more chemo. The days before he passed, he couldn't walk, talk, eat and swallow anything. He was also turning yellow. Way too young to die.
So sorry for your loss. At some point you'll have to decide to stop remembering his suffering during the later stages of the disease and remember the special times. This is the kind of healing which only comes with time. Four months isn't long at all. Tomorrow makes two years since my father passed from cancer. It still hurts.
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Old 08-24-2012, 08:26 PM
 
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While I was at work my father died 1yr 8 months ago from a heart attack trying to get help for my mother who was slipping off the bed, while the live-in was trying to get her up. He got stuck in the walkway at one of our neighbors house and had a heart attack trying to get out.....It tore me up. I felt my heart ripe out of my body. We were very close. He was 90. My mother had moderate alzehemeir at the time. When she found out my Dad was gone she wouldn't eat or take her pills for no one except for me. At that point I decided to quit my job and take care of her full time. Remind you I had my own family to also to take care of. My husband and my 2 boys which are teenager which help me out alot. My mother lived for 18 months after my father. Even though she couldn't walk or talk anymore. We went for walks everyday, window shop, watch T.V. shows, did her daily exercise routine, and went driving around. On May 2, 12' she went into the hospital and ate her last food and drink on the 4th, I wanted her home and she was released with hospice on the 6th to go home. She waited till my birthday pass which was the 27th. and she went home on the May 28th 2012 she was 87. I am happy for her cause she's with my Dad now but I do miss both of them.
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Old 08-24-2012, 09:33 PM
 
Location: NW Indiana
39,332 posts, read 14,406,954 times
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Though it usually gets easier with time, we never stop missing our loved ones who have gone before us. My mom died in 1971, when I was in high school. We were on a family vacation on a beautiful lake in northern Minnesota. The perfect vacation. Oddly, Mom felt sick one day. Four days later, she died of bilateral pneumonia. She had just turned 52.

Mom and I were very close, and though I don't cry about losing her, I still miss her all the time. I imagine how cool it would've been for us to hang out after I reached adulthood. She was such a wonderful person; the mom that all the kids in the neighborhood loved. Many, many happy memories. I feel so blessed to have had her in my life for 17 years.

Dad never got over Mom's death. He lived to age 78; died of cancer in January 1998. I still miss him a lot, too.

Tony22, the time goes so quickly after we lose a loved one. Weeks, months, years - they all seem to fly by. But we remember the good times before they were sick and we keep the memories alive in our hearts. May you find peace as you grieve the loss of your dad.

.
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Old 08-25-2012, 09:10 AM
 
Location: Olympia, WA
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Tony, my heart goes out to you. I can so relate to how you are feeling. It is soon approaching 5 months since my husband passed away. In one way it seems like so long ago, yet it has been only a short time. Both of my parents have passed, too. I feel all alone sometimes.

I have moved to a new house and starting to make new memories for my "new" life, but I feel my husband's presence all around me. I feel my mom and dad in my heart as well. I try to remember all the good things my parents did for me, great morals and values and love of the simple things. I will always have that in my heart, for they helped developed the person I have become today.

Losing a loved one is so difficult. I knew that after my mom died in 1996, and my dad lived without her for another 8 years; they had been married for 56 years and we said he would go quickly. But he hung on and was a blessing to all that knew him. Now that my husband is gone, and the pain is so real once again.....well, it is hard to put into words how I feel, but I think you know what I am trying to say.

I try to take one day at a time, be thankful for all I have, cherish the memories and love I was so fortunate to have, and go on. I know God has a plan for all our lives, and I only hope that I can be a blessing to someone else while here on earth.

May God comfort you each and every day.
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Old 03-13-2013, 12:10 PM
 
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Unhappy Mourning confusion...

I feel for all of you!! I losses my dad 8 months ago. He was very active, healthy and me and my familys Rock!! Valentines day 2012 they told me and him in an office not so expected, that he had cancer. Multiple myeloma and he needed to immediately be transported from ambulance to emergency surgery 60 miles away to remove one if the bigger tumors growing in and around his spine! In utter shock I was speechless, looked at my dad, he smirked and shes a slight rear as he said, " so, kiddo change of plans huh?".. Shopping was out! "sorry u had to hear that honey, ... No one lives forever"
After surgery, countless chemo & radiation, he lossed feeling in his bottom half anyways.. Wheel chair bound, dependent and struggling with it all being a very prideful man .. After being told we had AT LEAST 5 years with him.. For him to be able to see his first grandson grow up a little (he was only 2 months then).. My father losses his battle after only 4 MONTHS 12 DAYS!!!!!
I'm SOOO confused!! I also have 2 daughters who we're raised with my dad acting as their dad too. Grandpa was the father figure for my girls as they transitioned thru my divorce . They are 12 & 15.. Seeing them NOT dealing or mourning the loss of their favorite person is hard and it hurts ! I feel maybe this is why I mourn or DON'T mourn .. I emotionally and physically can't! my son was 6 months still breastfeeding when he passed, and my girls had shut it out! They we're in the room as he took his last breath, as our whole family was.. But since then.. To "deal" with the actual loss isn't happening. My oldest has since acted totally defiant , in a complete not her way. My baby knows pictures and my middle daughter shuts down completely. I'm a total ANGRY mess at this point. I'm sad, mad, confused, and lossed!
I kno everyone grieves their own way, but I don't think this is healthy!! I just want him back!
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