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Hi, recently I have lost a friend who I had dated for less than a year about three years ago. Since we had broken up, our contact was limited. I did see him once or twice since breaking up. About three days before his death, after not speaking with him about a year, we began speaking again. He expressed to me that he was interested in dating me again, and I agreed to see where things would go. Well our "first date" was set for last Thursday evening. Tragically he passed in a motorcycle accident that Thursday morning. I haven't seen him in a year and I'm upset that I never had the chance to see him once more.
I am not sure what is appropriate for me to attend in regard to his funeral. While we were once close, I haven't maintained contact consistently the past few years. The viewing is Wednesday evening. The mass & burial is on Thursday. Would it be inappropriate for me to attend all? Or should I just attend the viewing? I am seeking closure too, but I do not want to offend family. Thank you for your advice.
Hi, recently I have lost a friend who I had dated for less than a year about three years ago. Since we had broken up, our contact was limited. I did see him once or twice since breaking up. About three days before his death, after not speaking with him about a year, we began speaking again. He expressed to me that he was interested in dating me again, and I agreed to see where things would go. Well our "first date" was set for last Thursday evening. Tragically he passed in a motorcycle accident that Thursday morning. I haven't seen him in a year and I'm upset that I never had the chance to see him once more.
I am not sure what is appropriate for me to attend in regard to his funeral. While we were once close, I haven't maintained contact consistently the past few years. The viewing is Wednesday evening. The mass & burial is on Thursday. Would it be inappropriate for me to attend all? Or should I just attend the viewing? I am seeking closure too, but I do not want to offend family. Thank you for your advice.
I agree with strawberrykiki. By all means, go to the viewing. Simply tell the family that you were a friend of the deceased and wanted to say goodbye and express your condolences to them. Say something nice about your friend, such as, "He always made me smile."
I wouldn't suggest attending the funeral. Just the visitation seems appropriate, imho. I'm sorry that you lost your friend, rivermeets.
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You are going to pay you last respects. Go to the viewing or both. Just go in without a big to-do about it. No need to approach the family unless you know them. If someone comes up to you and asked how how you knew him..just state that he recently made contact with you again and unfortnuately you didnt get to meet again. There will be mamy people there they family will not know.
Thank you all for your advice. I never had the chance to meet his family because they all lived out of state and also out of the country. He lived in my state for over 12 years with no family just a close network of friends. From what he told me, he was not particularly close with his family.
I should also mention I haven't been to many funerals, only those of extended family. So I just wanted to know what is appropriate. Thank you also for your sympathy and well wishes.
Hi, recently I have lost a friend who I had dated for less than a year about three years ago. Since we had broken up, our contact was limited. I did see him once or twice since breaking up. About three days before his death, after not speaking with him about a year, we began speaking again. He expressed to me that he was interested in dating me again, and I agreed to see where things would go. Well our "first date" was set for last Thursday evening. Tragically he passed in a motorcycle accident that Thursday morning. I haven't seen him in a year and I'm upset that I never had the chance to see him once more.
I am not sure what is appropriate for me to attend in regard to his funeral. While we were once close, I haven't maintained contact consistently the past few years. The viewing is Wednesday evening. The mass & burial is on Thursday. Would it be inappropriate for me to attend all? Or should I just attend the viewing? I am seeking closure too, but I do not want to offend family. Thank you for your advice.
Go to the funeral. You'll be glad you did. You do not need to explain anything to anybody, other than that you were his friend. That is enough.
I can't think of a single reason you shouldn't go to the funeral. Not one. Having "hosted" many funerals for family members, I have never questioned why someone was there, only felt gratitude for their presence. It's a show of love and respect. That's always a blessing.
I'm so sorry you missed that last date, but glad you got to hear him tell you how he felt. I hope that brings you some comfort.
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