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Old 08-24-2012, 04:24 PM
 
Location: Charlotte county, Florida
4,102 posts, read 4,993,638 times
Reputation: 11837

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I have become such a bitter, nasty man since my Grandfathers death..
It's all towards family.. I'm not sure I can get over it..
Vultures...for ****ing nothing..
Death bring out the worse parts of people...
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Old 08-24-2012, 04:27 PM
 
Location: Charlotte county, Florida
4,102 posts, read 4,993,638 times
Reputation: 11837
After everything was said and done...the Shrink Aunt says...

What did you keep of his.. His pocket knife I say..

Her: There is nothing else to give you...

ME: What the F you mean..???

ME: I have his wife... you take the frikkin pocket knife..

ME: yeah your Mother...go home and *********r next fake husband

I'm tired of being nice to people who stood back and let others "take care of the dirty work"
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Old 08-25-2012, 07:55 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
22,706 posts, read 21,760,954 times
Reputation: 27757
Death bring out the worse parts of people..

Yes it does. I've seen it many times. Thankfully I saw it quite early in life when aunt whomever and rich great aunt so-and-so passed. The vultures were all over the property taking anything that they could get.

Keep the pocket knife. You are the only one who really cares. The only thing that really matters is the wristwatch or the pocket knife. It was a part of them - they kept it, wore it, carried it.

Sweet dreams.
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Old 08-27-2012, 05:14 PM
 
Location: Charlotte county, Florida
4,102 posts, read 4,993,638 times
Reputation: 11837
I'm sorry this was totally illegble..

I'd really like a chance to start again when i'm not so darn upset with myself and everyone.
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Old 08-27-2012, 06:02 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
22,706 posts, read 21,760,954 times
Reputation: 27757
It's OK. I've produced a few, cough, ugly posts here. I'm sure that someone wondered whether I'd had a breakdown or was on some sort of bender.
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Old 08-28-2012, 02:49 PM
 
29,988 posts, read 35,848,534 times
Reputation: 12719
Quote:
Originally Posted by Caligula1 View Post
I have become such a bitter, nasty man since my Grandfathers death..
It's all towards family.. I'm not sure I can get over it..
Vultures...for ****ing nothing..
Death bring out the worse parts of people...
I don't think the death of a family member necessarily brings out the worst anymore than it brings out the best in them. It may just be that the OP are seeing them for who they really are for the first time in your life. Those who tend to be good people will continue to be so and those whose nastiness was only covered by a thin veneer have been revealed.

Make a mental note or write down your feelings in a journal and then put them away, out of your mind. It is done and rehashing it over and over in your mind only makes the wound fester.

Harboring anger to the point of allowing it to poison you into bitterness and being nasty to others only gives those who behaved badly more power. My advice: don't let them do that to you. Pity them for their shortcomings and rise above it all. Let the memories be happy ones of your grandfather and times you spent together rather than angry ones over the behaviors of others you cannot control.

If there is a blessing to death it is that the recently departed don't have to witness the bad behavior of their own family members.

These kind of things don't happen in all families but they happen in plenty. Unfortunately it happened in mine and I felt similarly as the OP.

Letting go of that anger and bitterness is easier said than done but you'll feel better once you do. Live a life of which your grandfather can be proud and if you outlive the others maybe one day you can p*ss on their graves.

I'm sorry for your loss.
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Old 08-28-2012, 03:46 PM
 
12,425 posts, read 14,553,508 times
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It's OK to feel angry Caligula1...no explanations necessary....we all have our moments,...sorry for your loss.
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Old 09-02-2012, 01:05 PM
 
18,856 posts, read 30,447,336 times
Reputation: 25990
Rise above it all. Nothing really matters, it is all just junk. You can't take it with you.

The worst thing though, is putting the "Power of Attorney", in the hands of someone who really does not care about you. I went to see my Grandmother in a nursing home after she fell, her son had the POA. he was making her "health care" decisions---he decided she should not even have food or water if she could not feed herself. No fluids. She died of dehydration. A simple IV would have extended her life. He killed her. I did not go to the funeral. It would have been more than I could deal with to watch her killer.

So, yes, death brings out the worst in folks. And money. He killed her because the nursing home was costing money each month.
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Old 09-03-2012, 04:48 AM
 
Location: Florida
18,290 posts, read 18,539,506 times
Reputation: 20968
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
Rise above it all. Nothing really matters, it is all just junk. You can't take it with you.

The worst thing though, is putting the "Power of Attorney", in the hands of someone who really does not care about you. I went to see my Grandmother in a nursing home after she fell, her son had the POA. he was making her "health care" decisions---he decided she should not even have food or water if she could not feed herself. No fluids. She died of dehydration. A simple IV would have extended her life. He killed her. I did not go to the funeral. It would have been more than I could deal with to watch her killer.

So, yes, death brings out the worst in folks. And money. He killed her because the nursing home was costing money each month.

Are you sure that this was not what your grandmother wanted?
My husband and I have both told our kids that if we got that bad,(and it would be a permanent condition) that is exactly the choice we would want them to make.
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Old 09-03-2012, 11:05 AM
 
Location: Location: Location
6,220 posts, read 7,398,023 times
Reputation: 17862
My late hubs' mother lived with him (before we were married). He paid the rent, bought the furniture, maintained the place. His Mom didn't drive so he took her where she needed or wanted to go. He tried to get home for dinner every night because if he wasn't there, she ate tea and bread. His sisters gave him a hard time about how he "made her cook for him." Long story short, she had a stroke and after 10 days in hospital, passed away. The relatives swooped in and took whatever they wanted from HIS house! The only thing left was his bed, an ironing board and a lamp. He shrugged, rented a room in a boarding house and never said another word. But I could never feel the same about the vultures.

When my father passed away, my half-sisters never offered me anything that was his but I didn't mind because his wife (their mother)was still living in the home. A year later, she passed away and to this day, I have not one thing that belonged to my dad except for my memories.

So, yes, death does terrible things to the living.
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