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Old 09-29-2012, 02:31 PM
 
Location: Islip,NY
16,903 posts, read 19,625,251 times
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I would want to know and I would tell. I don't believe in keeping secrets no matter how bad it may be.
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Old 09-30-2012, 12:18 PM
 
Location: Southern California
748 posts, read 981,262 times
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Maybe a good thing to do would be to talk to your loved ones about such a situation before it happens. Those that want to know can share their reasons with you why, if they don't want to know, you could explain why you feel they should, or what ever the situation is, talk about it before hand.

My mother didn't us, I am assuming, and I can only guess as she is not here to tell me, that she did not want us to worry about here.

She changed my diapers, she taught me so many things for all of my life, until she was no long living. She spent years worrying about me. She shared my pain when I was hurting, she picked me up when I fell down. She was my safety net, I knew in the back of my mind, if my world tell to pieces, I could always go to my moms and have a good meal and shower, have a place to sleep.

To think about her going through what she must have went through alone, brings me much pain even after all these years. I feel like I did not get the opportunity to show her and do for her all she did for me.

So, please, talk to your loved ones first to see how each other feels.
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Old 10-10-2012, 04:09 PM
 
Location: Texas
25 posts, read 26,372 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by SocalPitgal View Post
If you learned that you had a terminal illness, would you tell your family? Or keep it from them as long as possible?

If somebody you loved had bad news, would you want them to tell you?

I am asking this because after my mother passed away and I learned the cancer was much more then just a speck, she only told us at the very end. To think of how scared she must have been just hurts me. I was angry at her for many years, not letting me share her fear or her pain. She didn't want us to worry, I suppose. She was trying to protect us. I feel as her daughter, it was my turn to take care of her, love her and support her. To know you are going to die and keep it all to yourself...

What would you do? Would you tell your family? Would you want to know?
I would tell my family if I knew I was sick or terminal. My dad died of cancer four years ago and we all knew about his prognosis and I'm glad we did. There was no "pity" concerning my dad but we all valued every holiday, birthday, golf outing, etc. as it were our last with him; not in a "sad" way but in a way that we just lingered in each moment and enjoyed it to the fullest. He "lived like he was dying" in the most positive way possible! As for your experience, your mother exemplified her love by making the best choice she knew how. Cherish that love and have no regrets; I'm sure she knew of your love for her also.
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Old 10-16-2012, 08:02 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn,NY
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I am not sure. When my dad found out, he told the whole family. They were by his side everyday.
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Old 10-16-2012, 12:16 PM
 
Location: Connecticut
2,727 posts, read 5,178,454 times
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I'm torn. I'd want to tell others so we can tie up any loose ends or spend time together. But then again, my mother would never leave my side and that would bug me because I would want some alone time.

But then again, I wouldn't tell anyone because in the end I really have no one to tell other than immediate family and a couple close friends.
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Old 10-16-2012, 12:56 PM
 
Location: Pikeville, Ky.
13,456 posts, read 21,178,915 times
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I would tell my family if I was dying of a terminal disease. I was raised in a family that kept one huge secret and I vowed that I would be different.

We have discussed death ofter since I turned 70 last year. They know that I will not with hold anything from them.

I would also want that time to prepare my children and grandchildren and ease their pain by letting them know that I have no fear of death. I would want them to understand that no matter whether I am alive or at sleep in death that I am always with them in our many memories and that a part of me is in the very blood that flows from their hearts.

I am caretaker of my adult quadriplegic grandson so I would hope the matter of his care will be resolved so I can go in peace knowing someone will take on the responsibility.
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Old 10-16-2012, 01:36 PM
 
Location: SWFL
21,351 posts, read 18,099,938 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Blue View Post
I would tell my family if I was dying of a terminal disease. I was raised in a family that kept one huge secret and I vowed that I would be different.

We have discussed death ofter since I turned 70 last year. They know that I will not with hold anything from them.

I would also want that time to prepare my children and grandchildren and ease their pain by letting them know that I have no fear of death. I would want them to understand that no matter whether I am alive or at sleep in death that I am always with them in our many memories and that a part of me is in the very blood that flows from their hearts.

I am caretaker of my adult quadriplegic grandson so I would hope the matter of his care will be resolved so I can go in peace knowing someone will take on the responsibility.
There is no plan in place yet, Miss Blue??? No parents in the picture, huhn? Oh my, that is one heck of a situation.
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Old 10-16-2012, 01:48 PM
 
Location: Pikeville, Ky.
13,456 posts, read 21,178,915 times
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There are plans, Tami, I just would need to be assured they will be carried out. Grandson is in college [on line, this semester] and is very independant except for the basic personal care and assistance with some daily tasks. He is unable to live alone due to the extent of his paralysis.
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Old 10-16-2012, 01:49 PM
 
Location: Southern California
748 posts, read 981,262 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Blue View Post
I would tell my family if I was dying of a terminal disease. I was raised in a family that kept one huge secret and I vowed that I would be different.

We have discussed death ofter since I turned 70 last year. They know that I will not with hold anything from them.

I would also want that time to prepare my children and grandchildren and ease their pain by letting them know that I have no fear of death. I would want them to understand that no matter whether I am alive or at sleep in death that I am always with them in our many memories and that a part of me is in the very blood that flows from their hearts.

I am caretaker of my adult quadriplegic grandson so I would hope the matter of his care will be resolved so I can go in peace knowing someone will take on the responsibility.
After my mom passed, I was sitting in her chair in her living room, beside her chair were several books about healing yourself from cancer, angels and preparing for death, doctor assisted suicide. She must have been so scared and felt so alone.
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Old 10-16-2012, 05:50 PM
 
Location: Islip,NY
16,903 posts, read 19,625,251 times
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When my dad found out he was going to die he told his co-workers first. He did this because he owned his own business as an insurance broker and he needed to make plans for someone to buy his business. He told my brother and I 2 days later. My mom already knew. My dad actually didn't want anyone to know except close relatives.
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