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Old 05-09-2015, 09:27 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
22,706 posts, read 21,750,727 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by cynwldkat View Post
It's all to often we, the grievers, do not say what we "need". I think some of it is pride (I know for me some of it is) but also we just don't really know what it is we need. I need friends, someone to hold me to go do things with but how do you say that? Especially when most people have their own lives going on. It's really hard and extremely difficult so I get what charlygal and the others are saying----sometimes demographics plays a huge role in asking for help as well. There is so much more to it all then just asking for help. You have to be in the situation to understand it fully I think. I may be wrong but that is what I have noticed in my personal situation.
Unfortunately, it doesn't always work out that way. I thought I was very clear about my needs and wants, but everyone was too busy. After a short time, they forget about you completely. At least, that's been my experience.
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Old 05-10-2015, 05:50 AM
 
Location: In a house
21,902 posts, read 20,895,074 times
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I'm sorry you had such a sad experience...but good for you about being clear about your needs---wish I had that ability but am working on it. I'm not even sure who I am anymore!
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Old 05-10-2015, 12:16 PM
 
Location: SWFL
21,432 posts, read 18,144,759 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Gerania View Post
Unfortunately, it doesn't always work out that way. I thought I was very clear about my needs and wants, but everyone was too busy. After a short time, they forget about you completely. At least, that's been my experience.
When I did ask, always too busy. Why offer then? I have forgotten about them now.
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Old 09-26-2017, 12:58 PM
 
1 posts, read 347 times
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in 1979 my sister died when she was 25. leaving 5 children. my dad died in 1990. a good friend was killed in a car crash in 1994. 1995 my partner of 5 years died suddenly. in earlly 97 another friend died. Julay 1997 my mom had a massive stroke at 63 and lost her voice. my family fell apart. in 1998 my sister died of drug related sepsis at 37. in 2008 a half brother commited sucide. in 2010 an aunt died. her husband (my moms brother) died in October that year as well as my half brother and step sister. December my aunt was killed in a car crash and then my friend killed himself on christmas day. my mom was hung in there unable to speak with a crippled hand with only me in her life. as much as I could help. she did fine until 2015. got ill with a uti. recovered. and it happened again in 2016 and she passed rather suddenly at almost 82. the remainder of my family and I are and will remain estranged. so it's just me on my own.
I feel angry, sad and just plain hating life in general. when mom lost her voice so much more was lost. now she is gone. amazing how alone we end up. makes me wish life would hurry and just end. I am not close to anyone
I see families and feel cheated. poor moms life was so hard and I could only do so much. but her being here meant the world to me. I don't wanna be told I should be happy. BS!!
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Old 09-26-2017, 05:56 PM
 
18,803 posts, read 6,138,018 times
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rickylee: I'll never tell you to be happy. Sorry for your losses. We all lose loved ones, I lost a little nephew when he was 5, he never had a chance...he would be about 35 today. Talk about a crushing blow for his parents and our family.

My parents lived to 91 and 96 so long lives.

My sister just died at 68 this past Dec. from a battle with MS and for the last couple yrs she had hardly any voice...so I lost her years ago. She could do nothing for herself anymore, MS took over her life.

I'm 79 and have a long lost brother who is 72 and he has never been around...I "think" he in NH in summer, FL in winters. I'm in CA.

Life is good, but we do lose loved ones, it's part of LIFE.

Get involved, make friends, give back to others who need help, that is a great gift and makes everyone feel good. You don't say your age, how about a relationship for YOU? Don't sit around and feel sorry for YOU. THere are no hard fast answers about life but we are born and we die.

Make the best of LIFE in between the beginning and the end. Take care.

PS: Just thought about this, I moved to CA from PA and family, 50 yrs ago so I got used to being away from family due to where I moved and they stayed.
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Old 09-26-2017, 07:24 PM
 
4,840 posts, read 2,145,909 times
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Happiness is as fleeting as sorrow...
Deeply sorry rickylee for the losses that rocked your world. Come here and share or shout if need be...Life is filled with hard times...We are here to help you thru it.

A myth that I learned with loss was that a new zest for life would occur. It hasn't yet! If anything..It's been a sense of mundane waiting for the inevitable. On a positive note and true statement...When the loved one departed they took a part of me with them...They also left some token of themselves behind. .For myself ..My mom left her patience,wisdom and ability to be accepting of mankind. Not sure how it happens but it's been my salvation to make it thru some heartbreaking times. .Find those tokens and cherish them..They sincerely will bring comfort.
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