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Old 09-30-2012, 10:07 PM
 
1,627 posts, read 2,637,625 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
smilinpretty...Thanks for writing. I'm sorry you lost your husband. How long have you been alone? I'm so sorry!...I think I am starting to "get it" that I am all alone now. (Bit by bit anyway.)...I've told a few friends that they may not recognize me down the road. And not to expect me to be exactly the "same." I feel the "rumblings" of "change" going on inside of me right now.. Did you feel this way and go through some changes too? Thanks again for writing.
Hi CArizona,

I have been by myself since May 21st but my husband passed away end of June. I am in constant change to be honest with you. It has been only four days that I came out of the highest peak of grieving. So many adjustments, so many changes, and so many lessons that have been learned.
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Old 09-30-2012, 11:24 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
22,712 posts, read 21,770,674 times
Reputation: 27763
Quote:
Originally Posted by jasper12 View Post
Wow. Sorry for your loss. Yes, maybe change would be good for you. Don't do what I did, ten years lost in a haze of depression. I still struggle with it. What did help me was a change to be around people who no longer knew my tragedy. It helped to not have daily reminders, even by nice caring people.
I hear you. After a period of mourning and some craziness, it's quite refreshing to appear normal to others.
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Old 10-01-2012, 07:10 AM
 
Location: Tulsa, OK
2,444 posts, read 2,230,594 times
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I had years of PTSD because of the recurring nightmare of my DH being killed, and that it took 5 years to actually find out who at his job was responsible for his death, because they all lied. I think once I can let go of the anger, I will be ok.
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Old 10-01-2012, 02:25 PM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,176,988 times
Reputation: 3514
smilinpretty...I'm glad you're starting to do a little better now. Great to have you here!...My son passed away on Sept 5th. (So it's still "fresh" for me too.) Still coming to grips with all of it...My son had a seizure and he was never the same after that. He had a couple of seizures in the past and did okay afterwards. But not this time. (Sad!)..Anyway I'm so sorry you lost your husband. My husband passed away 2 years ago but I'm still trying to adjust to being without him...There are so many caring people here! We don't have to feel "all alone" all the time. Please remember to take "good care" of yourself! And I will too!
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Old 10-01-2012, 03:18 PM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,176,988 times
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jrsygirl51..I'm so sorry about all you went through concerning your husband's death. And how it affected you. Are you doing a little better today? Hope so...I still expect some kind of trauma around every corner. But hopefully I'll be able to relax a little more in time...Hope you can find more peace down the road too. I'm sorry about all of the lies and deception surrounding your husband's death.
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Old 10-01-2012, 03:46 PM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,176,988 times
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Jasper12...Thanks for caring. Thanks for the "advice" about "starting over." I do plan to move before too long...There are just too many memories here all over the place!...Sorry you went through a long depression. Good you're doing better now...I feel weird calling friends because I know they aren't sure what to say to me at times...We might get carried away talking about something interesting or fun. (Which is good!) But then they probably feel guilty talking about something else besides my son or my grief and they just cut things off and become "somber."...I tell them that it's good for me to talk about all kinds of things. But they still go back to "somber talk" periodically...Anyway as Gerania mentioned in her post it will be nice when people start to relate to me in more normal ways again!
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Old 10-02-2012, 06:02 AM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
22,712 posts, read 21,770,674 times
Reputation: 27763
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jrsygrl51 View Post
I had years of PTSD because of the recurring nightmare of my DH being killed, and that it took 5 years to actually find out who at his job was responsible for his death, because they all lied. I think once I can let go of the anger, I will be ok.
I understand the PTSD. I had recurring nightmares for five years before my husband died. I just knew that something was going to happen. I'm not psychic, there was just a lot of stuff going on. Even though I was baking cookies and volunteering, my brain didn't miss a thing.
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Old 10-02-2012, 07:50 AM
 
Location: Tulsa, OK
2,444 posts, read 2,230,594 times
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I started having dreams that Bill was going to die, about 3 years after we got married. Then about 6 months before he died, the Lord kept saying, he needs to get life insurance. When I told him that, all he could say was, we can not afford it. We were together 11 years before he was killed by a co worker......and I am 3rd generation seer.
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Old 10-02-2012, 10:56 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,176,988 times
Reputation: 3514
Jrsygrl51...Sorry you had to go through your feelings and premonitions about your husband all by yourself for so many years. (Same goes for Gerania.)...Sometimes I get a clear sense of things and sometimes I just feel crazy! (Something is "off" but I don't understand what it is.)...One of my cats has sure been acting differently lately...It's as if he knows or senses something and he's become restless day and night. At first I thought he was just going through grief over my son's death. Or worried about me...But now his odd behavior is starting to "spook me." What does he sense? Or "know" that I don't "know?"...He's in good health so something else is going on. This is the main family cat...He's always set himself up as the "family guardian" and acts like a "faithful dog!"...Anyway I'm sorry you went through so many years with a sense that something might happen to your husband. And sad that his death was so tragic. Thanks for all you share.
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Old 10-02-2012, 11:12 AM
 
18,856 posts, read 30,455,105 times
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CA--I don't want to go into my "issues", but it is a relief, for me, to be around people who don't know my history. And it is often, even now, 15 years later, people don't know what to say...gee, it has been 15 years, they don't know whether or not to say anything, and when they do, it does, actually, cut me like a knife. No, you never "move on"...but, you do put it away, to try to have a normal life. At some point, you have to...
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