U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-11-2012, 09:27 AM
 
Location: California / Maryland / Cape May
1,548 posts, read 2,422,772 times
Reputation: 1228

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohiogirl81 View Post
This Christmas everyone in the family will receive some gift from my husband. I wasn't together enough to do it last Christmas.

The nearby homeless shelter also will receive gifts of his winter coats and warm clothing, a VCR and some tapes for the lounge, and anything else they might need that I have and don't need.

It's been almost a year (October 29), and I'm starting to feel the need to clear out not only some of the stuff in the house, but also the cobwebs in my head.
That's a great way of looking at it. I'm sure they will treasure the memories you are passing along to them. And goodness knows, someone out there needs some of this stuff more than we do.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-15-2012, 11:45 AM
 
Location: Islip,NY
16,935 posts, read 19,672,707 times
Reputation: 17186
I have my dad's silver money clip and HS class ring. My brother has his silver cufflinks with my dad's initials that my mom gave to him on his wedding day in 2010. He wore them that day too.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-15-2012, 02:22 PM
 
Location: SWFL
21,432 posts, read 18,144,759 times
Reputation: 18811
Quote:
Originally Posted by lubby View Post
I have my dad's silver money clip and HS class ring. My brother has his silver cufflinks with my dad's initials that my mom gave to him on his wedding day in 2010. He wore them that day too.
Those are nice mementos, lubby.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-15-2012, 02:52 PM
 
Location: California / Maryland / Cape May
1,548 posts, read 2,422,772 times
Reputation: 1228
Quote:
Originally Posted by lubby View Post
I have my dad's silver money clip and HS class ring. My brother has his silver cufflinks with my dad's initials that my mom gave to him on his wedding day in 2010. He wore them that day too.
That is really sweet. While I'm not one for holding on to things, I cherish mementos like those. I have one tiny box for super important keepsakes like that. They're priceless.

Hearing that you have you father's HS class ring makes me second guess getting rid of mine. Though it doesn't mean much to me (I only got it because my father said I'd regret it one day if I didn't), it may mean a lot to someone else one day (or, who knows, maybe to me in a few more decades). What I do know is that I'd give just about anything to have my godmother's class ring, had we been able to find one. Thank you for the perspective.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-15-2012, 05:12 PM
 
Location: Islip,NY
16,935 posts, read 19,672,707 times
Reputation: 17186
My mom also wears her mom's engagement ring on her pinky finger. It's a pretty ring and the stone is tinier than a pea, but she treasures it so dearly.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-15-2012, 07:49 PM
 
Location: Pikeville, Ky.
13,459 posts, read 21,199,786 times
Reputation: 17675
My youngest daughter and her daughter visited this weekend as they do very often. My daughter is not in good health from the devastation that continues to attack her body due to massive amounts of chemo and radiation when she was a senior in high school.

Yesterday we were discussing my demise (whenever that happens, which of course it will sooner or later) I gave her my diamond wedding ring set and a 4 inch binder full of my writings over the years, that I have always pretty much kept from the family. There were many pages about her and her valiant fight and win with Hodgkin's disease, undiagnosed until the later stages.

I knew she would want to keep those and pass them on to my granddaughter and I have the wonderful opportunity to see her enjoying something that is such a part of both our lives. I have done the same with all 4 of my children.

The only momento I saved from my mom's items was cheap gaudy pin she was very fond of and wore it almost all the time to the embarrassment of my sisters. I smile everytime I see it boldly displayed in a drawer of my jewelry cabinet or when I see one of a number of her photo's where it is proudly pinned to her dress or even her coat in the winter
__________________
Moderator of:
Non Romantic Relationships
Parenting, and sub-forums
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-15-2012, 08:11 PM
 
Location: California / Maryland / Cape May
1,548 posts, read 2,422,772 times
Reputation: 1228
Quote:
Originally Posted by lubby View Post
My mom also wears her mom's engagement ring on her pinky finger. It's a pretty ring and the stone is tinier than a pea, but she treasures it so dearly.
For some reason, that makes me happy.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-15-2012, 08:14 PM
 
Location: California / Maryland / Cape May
1,548 posts, read 2,422,772 times
Reputation: 1228
Quote:
Originally Posted by Miss Blue View Post
My youngest daughter and her daughter visited this weekend as they do very often. My daughter is not in good health from the devastation that continues to attack her body due to massive amounts of chemo and radiation when she was a senior in high school.

Yesterday we were discussing my demise (whenever that happens, which of course it will sooner or later) I gave her my diamond wedding ring set and a 4 inch binder full of my writings over the years, that I have always pretty much kept from the family. There were many pages about her and her valiant fight and win with Hodgkin's disease, undiagnosed until the later stages.

I knew she would want to keep those and pass them on to my granddaughter and I have the wonderful opportunity to see her enjoying something that is such a part of both our lives. I have done the same with all 4 of my children.

The only momento I saved from my mom's items was cheap gaudy pin she was very fond of and wore it almost all the time to the embarrassment of my sisters. I smile everytime I see it boldly displayed in a drawer of my jewelry cabinet or when I see one of a number of her photo's where it is proudly pinned to her dress or even her coat in the winter
Wow, I'm at a loss for words. That is so beautifully written.

I feel for the struggle your daughter is going through (I know it well), and my thoughts are with her and your family during this time. I know it isn't easy.

Your momentos are so meaningful, and you've inspired me to begin saving more family writings so that I may pass them down some day.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-18-2012, 03:26 AM
 
Location: Seattle some of the time now.
726 posts, read 488,151 times
Reputation: 1228
I too like the ideas of making the fur into a teddy bear(s) or donating it to a worthwhile cause.

I'm doing the same as Avalon, demicent and Marcy and for the same reasons. I wouldn't want my kids/grandchild nor siblings left with this chore. But I run into a problem when in comes to my son's things. He died almost four years ago and I just can't bear to throw away anything of his. Everyone tells me I should just toss it all. Maybe I'm just not there yet. It feels so heartless!
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-18-2012, 06:40 AM
 
Location: California / Maryland / Cape May
1,548 posts, read 2,422,772 times
Reputation: 1228
Quote:
Originally Posted by NoNansea View Post
I too like the ideas of making the fur into a teddy bear(s) or donating it to a worthwhile cause.

I'm doing the same as Avalon, demicent and Marcy and for the same reasons. I wouldn't want my kids/grandchild nor siblings left with this chore. But I run into a problem when in comes to my son's things. He died almost four years ago and I just can't bear to throw away anything of his. Everyone tells me I should just toss it all. Maybe I'm just not there yet. It feels so heartless!
I am so sorry. I can't even imagine what it must be like to lose a child.

There is no time frame for passing things on. If you're not ready, you're not ready, and that is okay. Assuming keeping the things around isn't doing more damage than good, why do something to yourself that would upset you if it doesn't need to happen? You're likely still grieving, rightly so, and perhaps letting the material things go would make it feel more permanent for you. That was my experience anyway, when I lost the closest person in my life. I can only imagine that feeling would be drastically multiplied had it been my child.

Either way, take all the time you need. One day, if it ever feels right to let some of those things go, you'll know. Until then, you aren't hurting anyone by keeping them. Everyone grieves in their own way, and in their own time frame. Just take it one day at a time.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top