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Old 09-21-2012, 07:54 PM
 
Location: Midwest
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If you had a mother or father, or even spouse (or anyone) that was very emotionally or physically abusive to you die how does it feel? Do you still mourn? do you feel free?
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Old 09-21-2012, 07:57 PM
 
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Death doesn't change who someone was and how they acted. It doesn't change the fact they were rotten. So if you don't want to mourn. Don't
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Old 09-21-2012, 08:02 PM
 
Location: Midwest
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I am really asking, if someone who had a physically and emotionally abusive parent, if they mourned when they died?
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Old 09-21-2012, 08:19 PM
 
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nyanna View Post
I am really asking, if someone who had a physically and emotionally abusive parent, if they mourned when they died?
I didn't mourn when my father died. He was horrible, just horrible to me (physically) and I broke off all contact 27 years ago.

Above said, I do find myself questioning what I could have done differently. These questions usually present at night and make me suffer lack of sleep. But as morning comes, I realize, there is nothing I could have done...and then the roundabout thinking starts again. As in, why did he hate me so? I was broken as a toddler by my father, so I don't know any other way.
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Old 09-21-2012, 08:22 PM
 
Location: where people are either too stupid to leave or too stuck to move
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I had a cousin who was really evil to me murdered and for a couple years I thought she deserved it. I no longer feel that way but I'm not exactly mourning her death
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Old 09-21-2012, 08:48 PM
 
Location: Midwest
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Originally Posted by L'Artiste View Post
I had a cousin who was really evil to me murdered and for a couple years I thought she deserved it. I no longer feel that way but I'm not exactly mourning her death
Wow. do you why or who murdered her?
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Old 09-21-2012, 08:52 PM
 
Location: Southern California
748 posts, read 983,517 times
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My father did some terrible things. Directly and indirectly. I had told myself and any body who asked, "I did not have a father" I had disowned him. Yet, when I got the news of an automobile accident, where the vehicle rolled, my step mother, father and my younger half sister, were all ejected from the vehicle, I was overcome with tears. I would have never thought I would have responded that way.

Months later, my step mother passed. So did my mom. It was not till several years later that my father passed. I had only talked to him a few times. One of those conversations was when I called him to tell him that my mother died. He said something to me, seemed like I had been wanting to hear it for my entire life.

He said, " I have lost the two most important people in my life" I never was aware that it mattered how my father felt about my mother, but hearing that he felt she was one of most important people in his life meant a lot to me.

When my father passed, I did not mourn. I felt a weight lifted off my back. I am not even sure what day he died, day before or a day after Christmas. I had been without him in my life so many years, it was like he was already gone years before he died.
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Old 09-21-2012, 09:49 PM
 
Location: where people are either too stupid to leave or too stuck to move
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Quote:
Originally Posted by nyanna View Post
Wow. do you why or who murdered her?
Her fiancé murdered her. I don't know why since he killed himself too
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Old 09-21-2012, 10:33 PM
 
Location: Southern California
748 posts, read 983,517 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by L'Artiste View Post
Her fiancé murdered her. I don't know why since he killed himself too
Maybe her Karma for being so evil to you. Maybe she was evil to many people, including her fiance.
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Old 09-21-2012, 10:49 PM
 
Location: State of Being
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Although people don't usually want to hear it (so not something I would say except to my very closest of friends) I have had family members die and just felt relieved, for many reasons. I have grieved the loss of some folks deeply, am still grieving the death of my best friend six years ago . . . so that makes it seem even more dramatic that I feel absolutely nothing about these other folks other than sheer relief that I just don't have to deal with them ever again in my life.

And there are a few more that I won't mourn, either.

People want to hear you say you forgave someone "at the end" or you found you had conflicting emotions after they died, etc. But for some of us, we had let go of any emotional attachment long b/f these people died -- so there isn't any emotion there at all except relief.
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