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Old 09-23-2012, 10:59 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,181,354 times
Reputation: 3514

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I thought I'd start a section where we can share our favorite "tales" and stories from the past with each other.. Our loved ones may be "gone" but they will "live-on" in our mind and memories forever and ever!...Anyway do you have a heartwarming or funny or even a sad experience that you'd like to write about and share?...I've always found that "storytelling" can lead to "healing.".. We might end-up crying or laughing when we talk about our past. (It can go either way!)...But it just feels good to remember and "honor" our loved ones and how they "enriched" our lives. Don't you think? Thanks!
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Old 09-23-2012, 01:17 PM
 
Location: NoVa
18,434 posts, read 28,554,167 times
Reputation: 19578
I am always thinking of my father. I lost him when I was 21 and it was a terrible loss. Boy, was I ever a daddies girl. He was my hero and my best friend. As a little girl I was always with him. I used to love going to the lumbar yard with him and hiding inside the sample doors they had for sale as he would walk along looking for me. Whenever I go to a lumber yard these days, I always think of him.

On Thanksgiving, us brothers and sisters always get together and we reminisce for hours on end. We go through all the old pictures and tell all the old stories that we either lived through or were told to us. All of our children then hear the stories, and it could very well be that they well tell the stories of the family that they have never met, but only heard of.

It is very healing, but it also brings the tears...
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Old 09-23-2012, 03:45 PM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,181,354 times
Reputation: 3514
Pikantari...I'm sorry that you lost your Dad so early in life. I think it's great that you and your brothers and sisters take a trip down "memory lane" together on Thanksgiving!...Good that the grandkids have a chance to hear the stories too and learn more about their "roots" and "family tree!"
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Old 09-23-2012, 04:06 PM
 
Location: NoVa
18,434 posts, read 28,554,167 times
Reputation: 19578
Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
Pikantari...I'm sorry that you lost your Dad so early in life. I think it's great that you and your brothers and sisters take a trip down "memory lane" together on Thanksgiving!...Good that the grandkids have a chance to hear the stories too and learn more about their "roots" and "family tree!"
Thank you CA. I lost my mother five years later. Yep, Thanksgiving is coming up, and the box of photos will come out and we will all be saying, "Do you remember when...?"

It was a tough time losing my parents, especially my dad. Its been years now and I still think of them every day.

I think as time goes by, it doesn't hurt so much, but I do always think of them. I have to laugh at myself because very often I will have a problem or a situation that needs solving and the best person for the job is always my mother or father.

Now that I am in a happy relationship, things have gotten remarkably better. It used to be that every year there would be a rather dark time. This would be from November until April. Thanksgiving, my birthday, my dads birthday, my moms death day, which was Christmas Eve, then Christmas and my dads death day, then my moms birthday and my grandmas birthday and her death day, then Easter.

Last year, for the first time in a long time, I was happy. I would normally start getting depressed in early November and I would just cry for no reason.

Wow. What a difference being happy and in a positive light makes on all of these things...

I am really sorry for the loss of your loved ones......
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Old 09-23-2012, 04:13 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles>Little Rock>Houston>Little Rock
6,488 posts, read 6,611,398 times
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My mother died on September 23, 1986, 26 years ago today and one day before my birthday. She was riddled with cancer that had started as lung cancer and metastasized to her brain, spine, and most of her organs.

She wanted to die at home so we had a hospital bed in the den right next to the dining room. The dining room was the hub of our house. It was where we all ate and sat to talk and just hang out. Mom always sat at her spot at the end of the table to read and drink coffee or wine.

My sister, her husband and kids, and my other sister all lived with Mom and took care of her. I lived less than 2 miles away in my own apartment. Married sister called me very early on the morning of the 23rd to tell me that our Mom had passed away during the night and that I should come as soon as I could before the funeral home came to take her away.

I came right away and went in to hold my Mom's hand, kiss her forehead and tell her I loved her. After that, I sat down at the dining room table with the rest of the family. Before long there were at least 15 of us sitting around...five of us kids, sister's kids and husband, and old family friends that came to the door to join us. It was only 11AM or so by that time, but we decided to have a glass of wine to celebrate Mom.

As we are sitting there talking and laughing and crying and sipping wine with Mom's remains just in the next room, we notice some activity outside the windows of both the dining room and the den where Mom is. We all look around very puzzled and then suddenly my sister says "Damn, I forgot the house painters were starting today!" Hilarity ensues and they next day, my birthday, we picked out a coffin.
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Old 09-23-2012, 04:28 PM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,181,354 times
Reputation: 3514
I give my family a lot of credit for the strength and "pioneer spirit" I have today!...Growing-up I always listened intensely when my parents and grandparents (and other adults) shared stories about their life during the Depression...My Mom used to talk about their "Christmas bush!" Most of the time her parents couldn't afford to buy a regular Christmas tree so they settled for a bush and decorated it with ornaments!...Nobody had money to buy toys or new clothes for gifts. Mom said she felt lucky and thrilled to death if she just got a new pair of shoes for Christmas. This was a "big deal" to her. (And her brother and 2 sisters.)...Mom talked about how her Dad "performed miracles" and did whatever it took to make suree his family always had a turkey on Thanksgiving and Christmas no matter what!....Somehow they always tried to make the "best" of things and see some "positives" in life even during the roughest of times!...My Dad told stories about how he and his family survived the "Dust Bowl" on their farm in Kansas...All of their "survival tales" live inside my mind and maybe even my veins and give me strength today. (Especially during my "darkest hours!")
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Old 09-23-2012, 05:48 PM
 
Location: NoVa
18,434 posts, read 28,554,167 times
Reputation: 19578
Maggie,

My mom had small cell lung carcinoma which also metastasized to her bones, brain, liver and kidneys. Your story reminded me of my own, here and there. I know it must have been hard to have her pass just before your birthday. We actually laid my father to rest on my sisters birthday. I never even thought about it until they year after he died, that it was her birthday that day.

I was all alone with my mother when she died. I told all my brothers and sisters she was not going to make it and none of them would listen to me. That was on Dec 22 and 23. I told them they should stay. They all lived at least four hours away and they left. I called them on Christmas eve and told them it wouldn't be long.

None of them made it in time.

It was always my tradition to wrap Christmas presents on Christmas Eve and this year was no different. Not really because I was following tradition, but because I was wrapped up in caring for my mother. At this point the cancer had spread and my mom seemed to be in a comatose sort of state, laying there in her hospital bed which was next to her regular bed.

My then husband took the kids to go see his mother and I sat there on that hardwood floor of my mothers bedroom. I brought back all of the presents and the wrapping paper, scissors and tape and I started to wrap presents.

I steadily talked to my mom as though I were in conversation. Of course she never said anything back, but I think she heard me. The nurse had been to check on her and I knew it wouldn't be long. I knew where she was in her journey because I didn't want it to hit me like a ton of bricks like with my father.

I was almost like a robot, taking care of her and reading a little book which told me where she was in her journey compared with her symptoms. I knew that that day was her last day.

It was freezing cold in that room that day. I told my mother I was going to go get some hot chocolate and that I would be right back. I kissed her forehead and brushed the little bit of hair aside.

I made a half of a sandwich while I was waiting for the water to heat, stirred the chocolate in and I was right back.

The hallway was a long wooden walkway that went the length of almost the whole house. It looked like a lane at the bowling alley. I stopped in the doorway of my mothers room and I will never forget the feeling that I had at that very moment.

I was overcome. A rush went over me. It almost took my breath away. I stood there and there was a feeling of release and of relief. I looked at her and I knew. I sat my sandwich and hot chocolate down on the dresser and I went to her. She was gone. I looked at her and I cupped her face in my hands and I kissed her and told her I loved her.

My mothers journey was a long and painful one. After that day, I could never question if you could feel happy and sad all at once. I was happy for my mother, that she would never feel pain again, and sad for myself, that I would never have my mother again.

The preacher had already been and next I called all of my brothers and sisters. My sister got there 15 minutes later, after traveling a 4 hour drive in 3 hours.

That was Christmas Eve and after my brothers and uncle got there was when it got rough. That is another story, for another time.

Every year after that I tried to make my moms favorite cake on Christmas Eve. A carrot cake with cream cheese icing. We would have a party. Last year marked 11 years and this year will mark 12. I haven't forgotten her cake yet. I celebrate the day that she got to be with those who left before her and the day that she met our Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ. She made it in time for His birthday the very next day.
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Old 09-23-2012, 05:52 PM
 
Location: NoVa
18,434 posts, read 28,554,167 times
Reputation: 19578
Happy the day before your birthday, Maggie!

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Old 09-23-2012, 05:59 PM
 
Location: Los Angeles>Little Rock>Houston>Little Rock
6,488 posts, read 6,611,398 times
Reputation: 17329
From my journal;


My Mom -- Barbara Edith ***** (08/03/02)

2002-08-03
A more wonderfully bizarre mother would be impossible to find. She raised me to work with her in the music business. She was cool beyond belief. She taught me my love of reading and got me interested in music at a very early age. Just the two of us would go see Harry Belafonte, or Tom Jones, or Chuck Mangione. We saw the Beatles at the Hollywood Bowl and went to see Madame Butterfly and other operas as well as the ballet.

We went on driving trips together to do stuff like hunting for geodes in the desert and trips to the mountains to hunt for waterfalls. We often got into to trouble or lost and my Dad would always laugh at us, but we continued on with our adventures. Who could ask for a better mother?
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Old 09-23-2012, 06:01 PM
 
Location: NoVa
18,434 posts, read 28,554,167 times
Reputation: 19578
Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
I give my family a lot of credit for the strength and "pioneer spirit" I have today!...Growing-up I always listened intensely when my parents and grandparents (and other adults) shared stories about their life during the Depression...My Mom used to talk about their "Christmas bush!" Most of the time her parents couldn't afford to buy a regular Christmas tree so they settled for a bush and decorated it with ornaments!...Nobody had money to buy toys or new clothes for gifts. Mom said she felt lucky and thrilled to death if she just got a new pair of shoes for Christmas. This was a "big deal" to her. (And her brother and 2 sisters.)...Mom talked about how her Dad "performed miracles" and did whatever it took to make suree his family always had a turkey on Thanksgiving and Christmas no matter what!....Somehow they always tried to make the "best" of things and see some "positives" in life even during the roughest of times!...My Dad told stories about how he and his family survived the "Dust Bowl" on their farm in Kansas...All of their "survival tales" live inside my mind and maybe even my veins and give me strength today. (Especially during my "darkest hours!")
I have heard many many stories of those, from both my grandmother and mother, as well as my aunts and uncles....

Somehow, I think I would much rather live in those times.....
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