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Old 10-14-2012, 03:18 PM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,174,193 times
Reputation: 3514

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tamiznluv...Sorry you don't have much "get up and go." I hardly ever do either...One of the things that's wrong with me is that I don't have my husband and son around to say "good job" to me anymore...When I was young my parents and I always said "good job" to each other and I passed this tradition on to my husband and sons...We always congratulated each other and said "good job" when we completed our tasks. (Big or small.).. Or we said "good job" (to each other) when we faced our fears or came up with ideas or insights or solutions to problems etc...Now I don't hear "good job" anymore. (Ever!)..My cats don't tell me that I'm doing a "good job." And I'm pretty critical when it comes to myself...I hardly ever feel that I'm doing a "good job" with anything anymore...It's easy for me to hand other people praise and credit when I feel they deserve it...But not myself!.. Do you ever feel this way?
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Old 10-15-2012, 09:41 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,432 posts, read 18,144,759 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
tamiznluv...Sorry you don't have much "get up and go." I hardly ever do either...One of the things that's wrong with me is that I don't have my husband and son around to say "good job" to me anymore...When I was young my parents and I always said "good job" to each other and I passed this tradition on to my husband and sons...We always congratulated each other and said "good job" when we completed our tasks. (Big or small.).. Or we said "good job" (to each other) when we faced our fears or came up with ideas or insights or solutions to problems etc...Now I don't hear "good job" anymore. (Ever!)..My cats don't tell me that I'm doing a "good job." And I'm pretty critical when it comes to myself...I hardly ever feel that I'm doing a "good job" with anything anymore...It's easy for me to hand other people praise and credit when I feel they deserve it...But not myself!.. Do you ever feel this way?
No, CA, I pat myself on the back, put on a big smile and make myself happy. If I don't do it, no one else will. (except for you guys)
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Old 10-15-2012, 02:32 PM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,174,193 times
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tamiznluv...I'm glad you can pat yourself on the back...Guess it's going to take me awhile to recover. I've sure been through a "landslide" over the past couple of years. (Losing my husband and both of my sons.)...I know I need to work through my guilt and my regrets and remorse over time...I almost "cracked-up" this morning when I found my son's cat dead. And I've been "crying rivers" off and on all day...So it's obvious that I still have tons and tons of feelings to bring-up to the surface. (Sadness over losing the cat. And sadness about losing my husband and sons all in a row.)...Thanks for your caring posts.
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Old 10-15-2012, 08:14 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
22,706 posts, read 21,750,727 times
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There are only so many things that you can stand, tolerate at one time. There really is a saturation point - and then you may even be allowed to go totally zonkers. I've been there and I've done that. I didn't hurt anyone so, it really doesn't matter.
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Old 10-17-2012, 08:31 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,174,193 times
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Gerania...Thanks for understanding! I guess there really is a "last straw" once in awhile...My whole nervous system seems "tweaked" at times. I can tell when I start to go into "overload." (And it doesn't feel good!) YUK!...I guess this is all normal. Sorry that it's been so rough for you too. Thanks for writing and "caring."
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Old 10-17-2012, 09:47 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
22,706 posts, read 21,750,727 times
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I know what you mean about your nervous system being "tweaked". I don't know how many times that I couldn't sleep wondering whether or not I've paid that bill or am I up to date on car maintenance and a hundred other things. My cat doesn't tell me that I've done a good job either.
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Old 10-21-2012, 02:45 PM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,174,193 times
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Gerania...Thanks for writing and caring...I've definitely been walking around "tweaked" lately. And I've had trouble sleeping too...Losing my son's cat sure pushed me over the "edge." Maybe the "worst" will be over soon. (Hope so!)...When I talk to well-meaning friends I end-up saying "yeah" and "uh-huh" a lot. (And don't always "open-up" like normal.)...I just want to get off the phone and be left alone...Everyone cares or wants to be caring but nobody really understands how I feel. (Or what my life is like now.) Have you ever felt this way about friends?...I don't want to be a "downer." And it's hard for me to do normal "chit-chat" right now. (I don't have the energy or patience to "ramble on" for too long.)...Anyway thanks for writing and caring and listening!
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Old 10-21-2012, 10:30 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
22,706 posts, read 21,750,727 times
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Yeah, sometimes the chit-chat seems so pointless, useless. I've found that for a short time after a loved one passes that I talk a lot. I also want to listen to others speak of everyday, mundane things. I suppose that I'm trying to feel "normal". After that phase, I can no longer do it, can't pay attention. Blah, blah, blah... petunias, blah, blah, blah... muffler. Oh, sorry, what were you saying?

My Dad, brother and husband had much broader shoulders, in more ways that one, than I.

Looks like I'm going to be up again tonight.

Good night CArizona, sweet dreams, good night.
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Old 10-22-2012, 08:01 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,174,193 times
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Gerania...Thanks for understanding! Thanks for the "sweet dreams" too!...Wow! It was "heaven" to hear "sweet dreams" again!...My cats don't say "good job" or "sweet dreams" to me!...A friend called last night. She "meant well." But she has no idea what it feels like to be totally alone since her husband is still alive and she is surrounded by family...I tried to get her to imagine what it might feel like...These issues wouldn't come up if friends didn't try to hand me a long list of "shoulds" and "platitudes" etc..Sometimes I end-up feeling like a rebellious teenager or ?? Have you ever felt this way?...Of course I'm "strong." I've made it through a "whole bunch!" (By myself!)...I didn't suddenely turn into a small and "stupid child" who needs advice from others...And of course this is a "rough time" for me. Anyone who had to "walk" in my "shoes" would feel the same way. Unless they were "half-dead" inside!...How do you feel about it? Thanks for letting me "vent" again!
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Old 10-23-2012, 09:32 PM
 
Location: Mid-Atlantic
22,706 posts, read 21,750,727 times
Reputation: 27757
Sometime I too feel like a rebellious teenager <-- (there's supposed to be a comma in there somewhere) and sometimes I feel like a small and stupid child. It's different every day.

In the last couple of months I've forgotten, missed, every event that I might have possibly wanted to attend: the lecture, the guided tour, the harvest festival. :::sigh::: This month I've become "the destroyer of food". It's really very disappointing as I used to be a rather good cook.

I shouldn't say this without telling the back story but, I don't feel like doing that right now and no one can make me! (rebellious teenager) Last night my mother told me that I wasn't going to heaven. Thaaaanks Moooom.

Grab your coat and get your hat
Leave your worries on the doorstep
Life can be so sweet
On the sunny side of the street
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