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Old 10-15-2012, 10:37 AM
 
Location: Table Rock Lake
971 posts, read 1,138,473 times
Reputation: 939

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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamiznluv View Post
Are you suggesting that I am telling tngirl what to do because I have nothing else to say to her?? You think my suggestions are not helpful?? I suggest you read each and every thread before barging in here with opinions like that. You don't know us, you don't know the bonds some of us have created with each other.

Sorry about your daughter.

Yes, our bonds with each other are getting greater each and every day, hopefully our tolerance as well.
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Old 10-15-2012, 10:46 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,594 posts, read 18,242,882 times
Reputation: 18970
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluff_Dweller View Post
Yes, our bonds with each other are getting greater each and every day, hopefully our tolerance as well.
I undertsand what you are saying, Bluff but I also have the right to respond to someone who just signed up and posted something like that which is contraire to what we are doing here.
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Old 10-15-2012, 01:36 PM
 
Location: Table Rock Lake
971 posts, read 1,138,473 times
Reputation: 939
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamiznluv View Post
I undertsand what you are saying, Bluff but I also have the right to respond to someone who just signed up and posted something like that which is contraire to what we are doing here.
I was trying to remember how I was after about one year of my loss and think I might have in a stuper and no telling what I might have said at that time.

I an still a newby here and learning. Would like to learn how to put on links. I will find the info sometime. I tried to put on some photo's, they got as far as my album (what ever that is) and are still there. LOL

Blessings to you Tami
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Old 10-15-2012, 03:11 PM
 
Location: SWFL
21,594 posts, read 18,242,882 times
Reputation: 18970
Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluff_Dweller View Post
I was trying to remember how I was after about one year of my loss and think I might have in a stuper and no telling what I might have said at that time.

I an still a newby here and learning. Would like to learn how to put on links. I will find the info sometime. I tried to put on some photo's, they got as far as my album (what ever that is) and are still there. LOL

Blessings to you Tami
I'm not sure I know the answer to that, Bluff, but I went to your albums and looked. My goodness, like I posted there, it sure looks cold!

(((HUGS))) for your loss.

Blessing back to you, Bluff.
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Old 10-16-2012, 04:17 PM
 
13,773 posts, read 33,089,236 times
Reputation: 10524
Those of us who have lost our husbands all understand how you feel. I remember walking in the mall a few months after he passed away. All I could see were couples talking, holding hands even the guys sitting on the bench waiting on their wives made me cry. I would never have that again.

He was my everything, we did everything together. We talked every night for hours about our day at work, we laughed and cried together,

I couldn't save him so I saved dogs and cats who were at shelters. They filled my house up and goodness knows I needed that at the time. They are bed hogs though.

The one thing that save me was I had people like the ones here on this forum to let me pour out my feelings and I knew they understood how I was feeling. Sam I AM and I lobbied for this forum for years.. We knew there was a need.

You are in good hands here.
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Old 10-16-2012, 04:46 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,071 posts, read 13,807,889 times
Reputation: 36714
Try to really think about what he would say to you now. What would he tell you to do??? It is doubtful he would want you to mourn him so. In fact, I'm betting he would be really upset that you are allowing his death to define your continued life. I am by no means dismissing the terrible thing that is the passing of a spouse. I am saying that YOU are left here for a reason and purpose. Ask, seek, FIND that purpose!
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Old 10-16-2012, 05:22 PM
 
Location: USA
1,895 posts, read 4,050,083 times
Reputation: 1990
Quote:
My whole life was centered towards my husband. My whole adult life from 19 years old to 57 years old was lived around my husband. I made a grave mistake to live my life through him. That I concur was a mistake but I loved him so much, he was my everything.
I don't think you should regard what you did as a "mistake."

Your man may be gone now, but by crackie, while he was here you loved him FULLY & COMPLETELY.
So what if he was your whole life? That's only natural: he was your husband - your life partner.

No, don't regret that you loved that man while he was here!

Be comforted in the knowledge that you have escaped the horrible knowledge that he is gone and you did not love him enough.

Never regret loving someone.....JMHO
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Old 10-17-2012, 04:39 PM
 
1,627 posts, read 2,646,677 times
Reputation: 2047
Thank you, Sundance. I needed to hear that. I miss him so much. This sounds terrible but part of me is dead and I wish that part of me was with him in heaven. I am not ready to live my life. I want to be left alone. I shut up all my window coverings, and I only venture out of the house when needed. I feel so vulnerable, like I am left all by myself and no one cares about me, Yet, I do have many friends who do care about me, I know this but no one will fill the void I feel, only my husband. I thought I would never be this way, I thought I would live my life to fullest after he was gone but that is not the case, I feel so empty inside. My husband was such a good man, an honorable man, we are honest and loving people and we were always there for family or neighbors. We would finish each other's sentences. He made me laugh so hard, I just loved his personality. He completed me. When he was sad, I was sad. I felt his every emotion. I wanted to take our lives a few times so we could be together and I backed out. I wish now I completed what I wanted to do but I could never harm anyone. I think I knew deep inside I would have a hard time living my life without him. I have much to be thankful for but I just don't have that flame insiide of me. I know people who are close to me try to do what they can for me but I exhaust them because I am not trying to live my life as God intended. My husband was the exact fit for me. I did not live one day in my life that I did not tell him I loved him. Every night and every morning I would kiss him. I knew how lucky I was to have him. Now my heart is broken. The reality of him being gone overwhelms me. I struggle and try to find my way.
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Old 10-17-2012, 04:49 PM
 
Location: North Beach, MD on the Chesapeake
32,186 posts, read 39,438,858 times
Reputation: 40709
I have really nothing to say to console you except that I have discovered that one finds out who their true friends are with a death or divorce, and sometimes with a job change.
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Old 10-17-2012, 05:21 PM
 
1,627 posts, read 2,646,677 times
Reputation: 2047
Yes, North Bend Person, you do find out who is sincere and means what they say.

I am thinking seriously of re-locating after my dogs pass. This is not a good place for someone who is single.
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