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Old 10-17-2012, 04:36 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,071 posts, read 13,725,077 times
Reputation: 36706

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It sounds like you have Major Depression ---which is unfortunately typical of a person who has just gone through a big loss, certain war terrors, etc., etc... You need to think seriously about getting on meds and starting therapy.

Major Depression (Clinical Depression) Symptoms, Treatments, and More
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Old 10-17-2012, 04:45 PM
 
1,627 posts, read 2,633,793 times
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Picklejuice,

I am depressed because I lost my very best friend, my lover, my mate of 38 years and I own depression right now, as I am grieving and how I act might not necessary be the way you or someone else acts or thinks. I am tired of having people diagnose me. I feel the way I feel and I don't want to be on medication. It is my choice the way I live my life.
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Old 10-17-2012, 05:56 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,071 posts, read 13,725,077 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smilinpretty View Post
Picklejuice,

I am depressed because I lost my very best friend, my lover, my mate of 38 years and I own depression right now, as I am grieving and how I act might not necessary be the way you or someone else acts or thinks. I am tired of having people diagnose me. I feel the way I feel and I don't want to be on medication. It is my choice the way I live my life.


It's early yet. I just re-read your first post. My apologies!

If these feelings cling to you for more than what is healthy and normal for the process, then please consider seeking help!

Listen, most of us have lost ( examples: family, friends, war buddies, spouses, pets, etc., etc.) in this life. No one is trying to "fix" you! I do think people are trying to offer you help and sound advice. Many could tell you their own horror stories, but would rather cut to the chase with the final solution(s).

Give it some time. It's still super fresh.

I also think you're feeling angry at the world, etc. right now, and that anger is being displaced.
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Old 10-17-2012, 06:10 PM
 
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So you know me, I am feeling anger at the world, huh?

Please tell me do you have a degree in diagnosing people, or do you just make it your business? I am very curious??
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Old 10-17-2012, 06:40 PM
 
1,627 posts, read 2,633,793 times
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Pickle juice,

If you know anything about grief, anger is part of the grieving process and although I did feel anger, I no longer do. What my problem is that there are more people in my life that want to fix me or diagnose me and although they might mean well, one has a tendency to get a little drowsy with so many meaningful people.

We all process grief differently and there are some people who don't even talk about their grief. Others, such as myself, who feel by talking about our grief on this board or others, might have people in their life to share their grief with.

Please understand although I know you mean well, you have no indication other than what I write here about what I feel, you don't know me. Just try to listen more Pickle Juice, and not try to diagnose, fix or try to help. Just listen.
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Old 10-17-2012, 07:12 PM
 
Location: Olympia, WA
363 posts, read 404,310 times
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smilin, I feel your every pain and emptiness. You and I are so much alike. It sounds like we had the same kind of wonderful relationships with our husbands. We were like 2 peas in a pod, just like you describe.

I so wish we lived closer so we could be there for each other. This forum will have to do. I too feel so empty inside. My pastor's father's death just a couple of weeks ago has opened up new grief for me, as his dad died from the same thing as my husband, lung disease.

I know the depression you talk about. I go through the motions every day, going to work, but when I get home and the evening comes, I am so lonely. I come here to this forum for my daily dose of compassion and understanding.

You are in my thoughts and prayers, always.
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Old 10-17-2012, 07:37 PM
 
Location: The Jar
20,071 posts, read 13,725,077 times
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I hear you.

Last edited by picklejuice; 10-17-2012 at 07:58 PM..
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Old 10-17-2012, 07:53 PM
 
15,819 posts, read 18,398,907 times
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Stay close with this friend. It may be a very long time before you can divide your attention from your grief to living a semblance of normal life. I would suggest volunteering eventually church, a grief support group where you may be able through sharing your story...to help some other folks. Right now, and for as long as you need it is ok to grieve. Each of us takes as long as we need, your case may be life long, but you will eventually get to the point where you can get through a day and not feel smothered w/ grief. The things you shared and did for your husband would transfer into some wonderful helping skills whenever, if ever you are so inclined. For now, cling to your friend, and find a support group. I am sorry for your loss.
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Old 10-17-2012, 09:52 PM
 
1,627 posts, read 2,633,793 times
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JanND,

I am in a support group. And I am doing my best to try to get through this. There are days I feel I am going to make it and get over this and there are days I feel like I am slip sliding away. Grief is a process and we all will experience to some degree or another. I am doing the best I can to achieve wholeness.
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Old 10-17-2012, 09:54 PM
 
Location: USA
1,895 posts, read 4,035,372 times
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Quote:
I needed to hear that. I miss him so much. This sounds terrible but part of me is dead and I wish that part of me was with him in heaven.
It doesn't sound terrible. Half of you is gone.

If people can't understand that, oh well.

You owe no explanations/apologies.

15 weeks since you lost him - honey that's not even FOUR MONTHS...........!

(((hug)))
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