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Old 10-13-2012, 12:25 PM
 
Location: SWFL
21,431 posts, read 18,144,759 times
Reputation: 18811

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Quote:
Originally Posted by Bluff_Dweller View Post
Lots of good information and support from the previous posters on this thread.

My dad died in 1969 and I still think of him. Mom died in 1992 so I was able to help her longer than the years she raised me for which I was thankful. The grieving is less for me now and only the great memories remain. I lost my wife of 53 1/2 years 4 years ago and still think of her daily. The posters here remind me I am not alone and not abnormal. I am just taking life a day at a time but have been writing down the good parts of my memories to pass down to our three kids and 5 grandchildren which in time I will undoubtably forget. ((( HUGS to all the wonderful posters here)))
53 1/2 years! Amazing in this day and age! (((HUGS))) to you, Bluff. I am so sorry to hear of your wife's passing. The people here are an amazing group of people, aren't they? Isn't it wonderful to know that you are NOT alone and you are NOT abnormal? It sure feels good to me. I am certain I would either be a raving madwoman or dead by now if I hadn't found this particular forum. I am a strong woman but I don't think I had it in me to cope with this pain alone.

That is so nice to be writing down your memories for your children and their's.

God Bless,
~tami~
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Old 10-13-2012, 12:30 PM
 
26 posts, read 93,611 times
Reputation: 83
My mom passed away almost 7 years ago & my grandma 36 years ago. I miss both of them like crazy & if I think about them a lot, I will tear up no matter where I am. Grief is non stop for some people & for others time makes it easier. I think it just depends on the person.
You are certainly not alone, it just seems that way cause no body really talks about how they are missing their loved ones on an everyday level.
You will be in my thoughts & prayers for your peace & comfort.
God Bless you
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Old 10-13-2012, 08:55 PM
 
Location: State of Waiting
607 posts, read 716,430 times
Reputation: 1390
Default August 2010

My Mom died at the end of August 2010 - she lived with us for about 5 years. It was the absolute worst day of my life, finding her. Yes she was 92 but totally sharp minded, my biggest supporter, worst critic and best friend. I miss her every day. My Dad passed in 1989, I still think of him every day and miss him too.

I don't think there is a prescribed amount of time that you are "supposed" to miss someone and grieve for that person. IMHO, the best, healthiest thing you can do for yourself is to allow yourself to feel the feelings and grieve and deal with it and move on. I don't think you ever really move on, you just learn to cope with the "new normal" of life without your loved one. Memories give me comfort.

(((HUGS))) for you, OP, and for all the others too, struggling with grief. You are not alone.
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Old 10-13-2012, 10:54 PM
 
413 posts, read 740,188 times
Reputation: 388
It sounds like you had a beautiful and tender relationship.
I found support groups really helpful. Hospice and many faith
communities offer grief groups. Just being able to talk with
others made the road easier. We're thinking of you.
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Old 10-14-2012, 05:21 PM
 
Location: Islip,NY
16,929 posts, read 19,666,757 times
Reputation: 17186
There is no time limit on grief. With that being said my Grandfather died in 1995, my grandmother died in 1975, dad in 2004 and my uncle in 2008 and I still miss them all terribly and get very meloncholy around the holidays.(((( Hugs to you))))
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Old 10-21-2012, 09:56 PM
 
8,561 posts, read 5,217,608 times
Reputation: 1172
Quote:
Originally Posted by monkeywrenching View Post
Mom passed away December 17, 2009.
Is it still ok to still be grieving for her almost 3 years later? I am not sure, and would like to ask.
I sure as heck still miss her.
My mother died 5 1/2 years ago. I still cannot believe it. I think when people who were the foundations of our lives are gone, it's just a basic loss that we never really get over it.
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Old 10-25-2012, 12:38 AM
 
Location: central Oregon
1,856 posts, read 2,025,508 times
Reputation: 2377
Losing mom is one of the hardest thing to deal with - this is mom!

I lost my mom 9 years ago this coming November 25th. I think of her every single day. I can't help but do so since I have a collage of her pictures right next to my recliner.
I put this collage together the day after she died (for her memorial service) and it shows her doing everything she loved to do.
Mr brother, son, and I like to look at the pictures and comment on one or the other with a story about her doing whatever it is she is doing: anything from baking to camping.
My brother and I (we must really be crazy~) talk to her daily. She would be so thrilled (we hope she is!) that things are going so good for us right now. We tell her about our lives all the time.

There is no timeline to get over the loss of anyone.

I've always believed that when you speak of your departed loved one then you are actually keeping their soul alive; for someone is learning about (and taking a piece of) your loved one when you share stories of them.
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Old 10-25-2012, 09:59 AM
 
Location: New York State, USA
142 posts, read 202,806 times
Reputation: 173
Quote:
Originally Posted by ncjoy View Post
It sounds like you had a beautiful and tender relationship.
I found support groups really helpful. Hospice and many faith
communities offer grief groups. Just being able to talk with
others made the road easier. We're thinking of you.
Yes, this.

Hospice helped me when my mother was dying. And after. And then I joined a grief group at church. That helps, too, when other people gather around and talk about their feelings and rememberances.

There really is no time limit on grief. Take as much time as you need. No matter if it si three years, you may want tothink that is a long time, but it really isn't. A lifetime is a long time.

I will say prayers and send thoughts out your way.
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