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Old 10-15-2012, 12:17 AM
 
Location: 900 miles from my home in 80814
4,669 posts, read 6,742,826 times
Reputation: 7078

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Thanks everyone. Today was better. I was really overwhelmed yesterday. Anniversaries are hard for me. I struggled with my parent's anniversary dates, also. The majority of the time I am moving forward, I just hit a dip in the road sometimes. Thanks for being here...
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Old 10-15-2012, 08:18 AM
 
Location: Chicago area
13,041 posts, read 7,203,353 times
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What a heartbreaking story. My girlfriends son killed himself at 22 and I was with her on his second anniversary. We took her to the beach and kept her as distracted as possible. Nothing can ease the pain except time. Try to stay busy and engaged. A big cyber hug for you.
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Old 10-15-2012, 02:28 PM
 
Location: Philaburbia
31,178 posts, read 57,317,340 times
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I'm sorry you got blindsided. It hits you when you least expect, doesn't it? Crying and venting are not unhealthy ways to roll with it than bottling all that sorrow and emotion when it comes.

I'm so dreading the first anniversary of my spouse's death that I offered to babysit my teenage niece and nephew while their parents go off on a weekend trip. My sister thought I was nuts for offering, but it's hard to mope and be sad when those crazy kids are around. They'll be just what I need; I sit around and cry all alone enough as it is.
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Old 10-15-2012, 04:02 PM
 
Location: Texas
25 posts, read 26,471 times
Reputation: 64
Marcy, I can't imagine what that must feel like and how you must miss your husband...actually I have imagined it, because my husband and I are close like that. However, I don't "know" how you are feeling, but I hope you will find comfort here with those who do. Even for those who don't share the same experiences, we still care. I will pray for you a peaceful heart.
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Old 10-15-2012, 06:42 PM
 
Location: East Coast
2,878 posts, read 4,391,411 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Ohiogirl81 View Post
I'm so dreading the first anniversary of my spouse's death that I offered to babysit my teenage niece and nephew while their parents go off on a weekend trip. My sister thought I was nuts for offering, but it's hard to mope and be sad when those crazy kids are around. They'll be just what I need; I sit around and cry all alone enough as it is.
Many people find that the time leading up to the anniversary is often worse than the actual day itself.
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Old 10-16-2012, 02:58 PM
 
13,773 posts, read 33,006,430 times
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{{{{{HUGS}}}}} It is never easy. It has been almost 10 years for me and yet at times it seems like just yesterday. I dread the holidays too since we were married on Christmas Eve. You know you have those traditions and we use to have a glass of Kahula and sleep in front of the fireplace next to the Xmas tree.

I don't even put up a tree, it is no fun to put one up by yourself.

It does get better but those certain days will always bring back memories
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Old 10-17-2012, 07:36 AM
 
Location: California
262 posts, read 414,790 times
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wow, I wish the corporate world were as kind and warm as you all. {hugs}
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Old 10-18-2012, 04:12 AM
 
Location: Seattle some of the time now.
726 posts, read 488,539 times
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Marcy~ I'm so sorry you have to live such a day over and over. I'm glad you told us. I think it helps to write about it. It sounds as though you and your husband had a wonderfully warm and loving relationship! Those memories will live on as well. My heart goes out to you and to the others here who have lost loved ones too.
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Old 10-18-2012, 05:54 AM
 
13,773 posts, read 33,006,430 times
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I agree writing about it helps especially with caring strangers. We aren't going to judge you as we all have experienced the loss of a love one.

I also found helping others who are going through some of the things I went through also helped me knowing I wasn't the only one who felt that way.

There are some good books that helped me too.
I wasn't ready to say goodbye
The Grief Recovery handbook.
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Old 10-19-2012, 01:52 AM
 
Location: 900 miles from my home in 80814
4,669 posts, read 6,742,826 times
Reputation: 7078
Keeper, "I Wasn't Ready to Say Goodbye", along with "Widow to Widow" were my "go to" books every day for the first year and a half. They are so worn and dog eared from constantly reading and re-reading them. I wrote a lot for the first year as well. I did it all on the computer and kept it in a Word document that I look at once and a while. I really see my evolution as time goes by.
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