U.S. CitiesCity-Data Forum Index
Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
 [Register]
Please register to participate in our discussions with 2 million other members - it's free and quick! Some forums can only be seen by registered members. After you create your account, you'll be able to customize options and access all our 15,000 new posts/day with fewer ads.
View detailed profile (Advanced) or search
site with Google Custom Search

Search Forums  (Advanced)
Reply Start New Thread
 
Old 10-14-2012, 05:07 PM
 
Location: Islip,NY
16,935 posts, read 19,680,616 times
Reputation: 17199

Advertisements

Quote:
Originally Posted by tamiznluv View Post
When my mom was gone, we still celebrated. When my dad passed, we still celebrated. Now that hubby is gone, I'm done celebrating. "Life goes on", true but for those of us who have nothing to celebrate or our loved ones to celebrate with, the holidays are meaningless now. Give extra special thanks you are not alone, lubby.
I am blessed to still have some family left and I completely understand those who are done celebrating especially you and it's OK. Wishing you a happy holiday season anyway
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message

 
Old 10-14-2012, 05:11 PM
 
Location: The REAL WORLD.
21,187 posts, read 5,517,632 times
Reputation: 9396
It seems people forget about others when they (the others) become single for whatever reason. I have to make my own plans and do try to include 1 or 2 other people in the same circumstances as me (not involved in a relationship and single) I do go to my son's for Christmas though.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-14-2012, 05:13 PM
 
Location: Islip,NY
16,935 posts, read 19,680,616 times
Reputation: 17199
Quote:
Originally Posted by njmike View Post
It seems people forget about others when they (the others) become single for whatever reason. I have to make my own plans and do try to include 1 or 2 other people in the same circumstances as me (not involved in a relationship and single) I do go to my son's for Christmas though.
Yeah since my mom has been widowed no one really calls her or invites her to things as much expect her cousin and 1 good friend, other than that it's like she doesn't exist.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-14-2012, 05:34 PM
 
Location: Olympia, WA
363 posts, read 405,352 times
Reputation: 699
The holidays are always painful for me as they bring back memories of "the way it used to be." Everyone went to my mom & dad's for Thanksgiving and Christmas. They are both gone now, and everyone has gone their own ways. Sad.

When my husband and I were on the truck, the holidays were just another day, although usually a turkey or ham dinner at the truck stop. At least we were together. In the last few years, we did not decorate or do much except plan a nice meal. Despite his breathing condition, he did like to eat....although slowly. He is gone now.

My neighbors/friends/newly-adopted family has already told me to plan to be with them on Thanksgiving and Christmas. I will be thankful for that, but it will be the first year I am without my husband. I know it will be difficult, even though surrounded by close friends.

Speaking of the holidays....just let me add this.....the holidays have become so commercial that I really dread them. What I hate the most is knowing that there are so many people out there that are lonely and facing tough economic times, and they don't have enough to provide a meal or gifts for their kids. It is heartbreaking to me. And the businesses push the spend, spend, spend. So so sad.

Since my mom died in 1996, the holidays are a depressing time for me. I never used to understand how people could say that, but now I do. I just try to get through it.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-14-2012, 05:35 PM
 
1,627 posts, read 2,637,625 times
Reputation: 2047
Gee, I forgot that there are only a select few restaurants open. Well, it is just another day for me, so I will throw a steak on the BBQ. :-).
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-14-2012, 05:41 PM
 
Location: Tulsa, OK
2,444 posts, read 2,230,594 times
Reputation: 5848
My dad passed suddenly Christmas Day 2008. Mom has been gone since 2001, hubby since 2002. Don't see my sisters. So, its me and the kids, as always...and I love decorating. It keeps me sane and full of memories.

Last edited by Jrsygrl51; 10-14-2012 at 06:57 PM.. Reason: Typo
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-14-2012, 08:21 PM
 
Location: Philaburbia
31,165 posts, read 57,302,589 times
Reputation: 52030
I'm spending Halloween with my sister and her family, and Thanksgiving and Christmas with my mom. Just like before, when I was single.

My husband loved holidays; his brother used to call him an overgrown elf. It's so hard to celebrate without him. This year's holidays, I hope, will be easier than the last -- or, at least, less acutely depressing.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-14-2012, 11:08 PM
 
Location: Florida Gulf Coast
4,086 posts, read 5,500,568 times
Reputation: 6407
I hate the holidays -- the commercialism, the constant questions about whether you're "decorated" and what you're doing for the holidays. I've been invited to cousins' homes for Thanksgiving, but it's difficult because all their kids and grandchildren are there, I don't really know them, and it's hard to really have a conversation because they're all so distracted with the kids. Or there are arguments between the family members (sisters, or husband/wife) and you're just sitting there, totally uncomfortable. I am hoping to be at my Mom's condo in FL by Christmas. She died 8 mos. ago, but I love being in FL at Christmas -- decorated palm trees, hopefully warm weather, and many more folks without families nearby, so the restaurants are bustling and fun.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-15-2012, 12:43 AM
 
Location: 900 miles from my home in 80814
4,669 posts, read 6,740,923 times
Reputation: 7078
My first year was really difficult as Thanksgiving was on the one month anniversary. The kids had just flown in for the funeral and couldn't afford to come out again, and I was in no shape, emotionally, to fly anywhere. I really don't remember much about that year's holidays. The next year I invited my self to my sister-in-law's in Denver for Christmas, and last year I invited myself to her house for Thanksgiving. This year, she and her husband will be coming to Arizona for Thanksgivng, but Christmas will be just my son and me. I decorate to the hilt for Halloween and Christmas because it's familiar and comforting. I grew up with so many of the decorations, so there are a lot of warm memories attached to them.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
 
Old 10-15-2012, 05:13 AM
 
Location: The Great State of Arkansas
5,981 posts, read 15,900,945 times
Reputation: 7531
You know, my husband's aunt took a whole new route when her husband passed even though all family is within easy driving distance. She volunteers for a hotline or at a soup kitchen. Last year she volunteered at a retirement center/nursing home for the holidays. Hotlines are sometimes only staffed by a few pros or a lot of volunteers and many of them don't want to work at their non-paying job on the holidays - so she picks up the slack. Around Thanksgiving the Angel Tree with Salvation Army is in full swing and there are lots of contributions that need to be sorted in a back room somewhere even though it is a holiday. She's an approved volunteer with many of the organizations so they are grateful for the help. Other than soup kitchens, I'm pretty sure you'd need some prior clearance of some sort, but it's a thought.

She says it is bittersweet - she is sometimes among those less fortunate or those having their own solitary holiday, or maybe she's in that back room alone...but the time goes by, she feels she's been of assistance to someone, and she's not totally alone unless she chooses to be. She could be with family but chooses to help others for one or two of those days, maybe only gathering with the family on Christmas Eve. It's definitely not a solution for everyone but it works for her.
Reply With Quote Quick reply to this message
Please register to post and access all features of our very popular forum. It is free and quick. Over $68,000 in prizes has already been given out to active posters on our forum. Additional giveaways are planned.

Detailed information about all U.S. cities, counties, and zip codes on our site: City-data.com.


Reply
Please update this thread with any new information or opinions. This open thread is still read by thousands of people, so we encourage all additional points of view.

Quick Reply
Message:

Over $104,000 in prizes was already given out to active posters on our forum and additional giveaways are planned!

Go Back   City-Data Forum > General Forums > Grief and Mourning
Similar Threads
Follow City-Data.com founder on our Forum or

All times are GMT -6.

2005-2018, Advameg, Inc.

City-Data.com - Archive 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16, 17, 18, 19, 20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26, 27, 28, 29, 30, 31, 32, 33, 34, 35 - Top