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Old 10-16-2012, 02:00 AM
 
Location: 900 miles from my home in 80814
4,670 posts, read 6,745,956 times
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There is a LeisureCare Retirement Community that is an assisted living facility a couple of blocks from me. It has everything from couples living independently in their own condos to hospital like facilities where patients are in end of life hospice care. It's a beautiful facility with wonderful amenities, great employees and lots of activities for active residents. That would be a place for me to start thinking about volunteering, even if just visiting residents that are room bound for a while on the holiday. I am going to look into what it would take to help out over there.
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Old 10-16-2012, 04:37 AM
 
Location: Olympia, WA
363 posts, read 405,751 times
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That is a wonderful idea Marcy. I'm sure you would bring a spark of joy to anyone there. And you know what they say, it is always better to give than to receive. Hope it works out for you.
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Old 10-16-2012, 07:59 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn,NY
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For Thanksgiving,my aunt is having it at her house. I am not sure about Christmas. It is going to be rough since my dad passed away . He use to cook for the holidays.
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Old 10-18-2012, 04:28 AM
 
Location: Seattle some of the time now.
726 posts, read 488,836 times
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Thanksgiving was the last holiday I had with my son. He loved traditions and was always the first to arrive. He died 10 days before Christmas and his birthday was in January. I spent that time bringing him home and making arrangements. So even though I have family and I do my best to let them know how much they mean to me, the holidays are very difficult. It's when I cry for him the most.
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Old 10-18-2012, 12:34 PM
 
Location: SWFL
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Oh Nonansea, I am so sorry for your loss. God Bless you that you have the strength to continue the tradition of the holidays. IDK the pain of loosing a child but it must be THE most painful.

(((HUGS))),
~tami~
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Old 10-19-2012, 04:55 AM
 
Location: Seattle some of the time now.
726 posts, read 488,836 times
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Thanks Tami~ I think anytime we lose someone we love, we have a relationship with, especially when involved in each other's lives regularly, it's such a life-changer that it leaves you devastated. While this has absolutely been the worst thing I've ever had to deal with, I don't want to discount other's feelings who are grieving for their hubands, wives, Moms, Dads, Sisters, Brothers, Grandparents, Friends or whoever it is they miss so terribly much. There's been so many deaths of family and friends in recent years, I just can't stand it! I'm afraid I'm becoming numb. Last January, my good friend I used to see a lot suddenly passed away. She was 54. The next day my daughter's best friend died in a freak drowning accident. She was 40. The day she died was the day before my daughter's 30th Birthday. That same week my nephew died of skin cancer. He was only 36. My son was 30 when he died. Makes me wonder... what is going on!?!
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Old 10-19-2012, 06:50 AM
 
Location: California / Maryland / Cape May
1,548 posts, read 2,425,197 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
Do you have any set plans for the holidays this year?...I'm not sure how I will spend the holidays yet. I don't have any family left at all...A few friends invited me to their holiday dinners but they live far away and it would involve overnight stays...Just not sure what I want to do yet. How about you?
I am in the exact same position this year. We're beginning a new tradition this year with friends. The added bonus is that the holiday will be meat free which means I can finally eat everything there. It will also be dog-friendly, which means my dogs won't be left at home by themselves (something that always broke my heart).

So, all the girls are bringing their men, dogs, and meatless dishes. I'm actually beginning to get a little excited about it, surprisingly (or perhaps I'm getting good at tricking myself). I know it won't be the same, but trying to compare a new tradition to an old one wouldn't be fair (just like comparing a new boyfriend to an old one). I will take it for what it is, and hopefully in a few years (or decades) I'll get excited for the new holiday tradition just as I did for the old one.
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Old 10-19-2012, 07:01 AM
 
Location: California / Maryland / Cape May
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamiznluv View Post
When my mom was gone, we still celebrated. When my dad passed, we still celebrated. Now that hubby is gone, I'm done celebrating. "Life goes on", true but for those of us who have nothing to celebrate or our loved ones to celebrate with, the holidays are meaningless now. Give extra special thanks you are not alone, lubby.
I can see both sides of this. I, too, used to say life goes on. Then I lost my entire family. That's especially hard for me because my life revolved around my family. I put my career on hold to care for my family. My family always said I and my godmother were the glue that kept everyone together.

Now there's no one to keep together. There's no "life" to go on. The only "life to go on" is mine. So, I figure I can sit around which will just make me even more depressed, or distract myself with socialization. I opted for the distraction, since it's pretty much the only thing that keeps me going.

One day soon I hope to meet Mr. Right, remarry, possibly have children (if I'm lucky enough to still be able to have them) and/or adopt, and hopefully that will give me enough joy to make up for the fact that everyone else I love has since passed. Time will tell. Until then, I shall continue distracting myself.
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Old 10-19-2012, 08:53 AM
 
1,627 posts, read 2,639,111 times
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SunnyTXsmile,

I feel thankful you posted. I am all by myself, with no friends or family. I don't know what I plan to do for the holidays but from reading what you posted, it has centered me. I wish you all of the best and happiness for the future.
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Old 10-19-2012, 09:12 AM
 
Location: California / Maryland / Cape May
1,548 posts, read 2,425,197 times
Reputation: 1228
Quote:
Originally Posted by smilinpretty View Post
SunnyTXsmile,

I feel thankful you posted. I am all by myself, with no friends or family. I don't know what I plan to do for the holidays but from reading what you posted, it has centered me. I wish you all of the best and happiness for the future.
Your sweet post means more to me than you know. Thank you. I hope something I said may have possibly resonated with you, or maybe shown another perspective from which to view things. Sometimes that's really all we need, a new perspective.

BTW, I don't know where you live, but if you have a hunkering for the most amazing green beans you'll ever eat in your life and you're in the Mid-Atlantic region for Thanksgiving, you're more than welcome to come on by. Perhaps this holiday season will be the season you kick off new friendships that last for many years to come, and begin the next chapter of your life. When you're ready, the new relationships will be there for you.
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