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Not one single day is guaranteed, so forget about harboring a grudge/bad feelings, remember to treat everyone kindly, give gifts and smiles and hugs NOW...don't let anyone or anything affect your happiness because in the end, life is too short to be upset for long about *anything.*
I've learned that it's probably not wise to put all of my "eggs" in just a couple of "baskets." Because when those baskets "disappear" there is a "huge void!"...But I still wouldn't change a thing about my life and my time with my husband and sons. (And other loved ones.)
Really great responses. I'm happy I started this thread.
I think it's important to keep looking forward. I know that when my time comes, even if it's tomorrow, I want people to rejoice and realize how sweet a sunset is and how precious the changing of the leaves is. Everything to me now is much deeper in a way. Bittersweet, sad, but deeper. I look forward to the journey ahead while having the love still alive in my heart, where it's always been.
I also look forward to seeing my father continue living his own life. I look forward to seeing my stepsister become a woman and my stepbrother become a young man. I know she's not here to see it, but I'll love the family I still have even more, just for her.
Hope every day is a bit better than the last for everyone reading this. Nobody would want you getting any worse!
If you aren't happy with your life, do whatever it takes to change it.
Life is very, very short and you don't want to die having been miserable forever.
If you hate your job, get a different one (regardless of pay, unless it is poverty wages). Live in a bad area? Move somewhere you like better. In a bad relationship? Get a different one.
Also, don't take life too seriously. In 100 years, nobody will remember you existed except perhaps as a line on a family tree.
I don't mean for that to sound trite or flippant - but it was a valuable lesson I learned when my mother died that has served me well throughout my lifetime - life goes on. I remember being in the funeral procession for momma and looking out the car window and seeing people going on about their daily lives like nothing had happened - and thinking "don't you understand? The greatest woman I've ever known is gone and is not coming back.". And I watched people doing their daily activities - shopping, getting their oil changed, going to work - and I simply couldn't comprehend how they could be doing these things on the single most life changing day I could have ever imagined.
I come from the South - people still pull over in their cars for funeral processions...if you're working in your yard you stop as a sign of respect. But after we passed, they picked up their shovel or went on their way, and I remember thinking they would not think of this moment again and would not ever know how my life and my family's lives had all been changed...because life goes on. Although we may be precious to the ones who love us, basically we are a speck in the universe. It sort of put me in check on my level of importance in the world.
Since then I've really had to do some thinking about that. The world doesn't stop spinning on its axis because of our pain, even though it feels to us that it should. No matter what happens, the sun will come up tomorrow. It's actually helped me get through a lot of painful situations. For one thing, I realize how inconsequential most things are in life that we perceive as crises. That people cannot know our pain or level of involvement, so it's pretty hopeless to expect that. That we can make a difference every day in someone's life with a kind word or gesture. Life will go on - it will be altered after we lose someone we love, but it will go on. Even though it feels like we cannot possibly keep going, the life force is strong and we will find another way to keep going. The human spirit is resilient.
In the end, we will be remembered for who we were in our hearts, and our lives are a reflection of our heart. No, the entire world will not take notice of our passing; life will go on, but we will hold a special place in someone's heart if we give it our best.
I've learned that it's probably not wise to put all of my "eggs" in just a couple of "baskets." Because when those baskets "disappear" there is a "huge void!"...But I still wouldn't change a thing about my life and my time with my husband and sons. (And other loved ones.)
Wow, well said. I hadn't thought of it that way, but you're right (and I think I did the same thing - although, who could have possibly imagined that all 4 of my closest relatives would die at the same time?).
I don't mean for that to sound trite or flippant - but it was a valuable lesson I learned when my mother died that has served me well throughout my lifetime - life goes on. I remember being in the funeral procession for momma and looking out the car window and seeing people going on about their daily lives like nothing had happened - and thinking "don't you understand? The greatest woman I've ever known is gone and is not coming back.". And I watched people doing their daily activities - shopping, getting their oil changed, going to work - and I simply couldn't comprehend how they could be doing these things on the single most life changing day I could have ever imagined.
I come from the South - people still pull over in their cars for funeral processions...if you're working in your yard you stop as a sign of respect. But after we passed, they picked up their shovel or went on their way, and I remember thinking they would not think of this moment again and would not ever know how my life and my family's lives had all been changed...because life goes on. Although we may be precious to the ones who love us, basically we are a speck in the universe. It sort of put me in check on my level of importance in the world.
Since then I've really had to do some thinking about that. The world doesn't stop spinning on its axis because of our pain, even though it feels to us that it should. No matter what happens, the sun will come up tomorrow. It's actually helped me get through a lot of painful situations. For one thing, I realize how inconsequential most things are in life that we perceive as crises. That people cannot know our pain or level of involvement, so it's pretty hopeless to expect that. That we can make a difference every day in someone's life with a kind word or gesture. Life will go on - it will be altered after we lose someone we love, but it will go on. Even though it feels like we cannot possibly keep going, the life force is strong and we will find another way to keep going. The human spirit is resilient.
In the end, we will be remembered for who we were in our hearts, and our lives are a reflection of our heart. No, the entire world will not take notice of our passing; life will go on, but we will hold a special place in someone's heart if we give it our best.
If you aren't happy with your life, do whatever it takes to change it.
Life is very, very short and you don't want to die having been miserable forever.
If you hate your job, get a different one (regardless of pay, unless it is poverty wages). Live in a bad area? Move somewhere you like better. In a bad relationship? Get a different one.
Also, don't take life too seriously. In 100 years, nobody will remember you existed except perhaps as a line on a family tree.
Oh my goodness, exactly!!
Some people around me think I'm nuts because, since I lost my family, I've told some people to take a hike (family and friends alike), because I realized life was way too short to be taken for granted. So they got the boot, which has allowed more time in my life for the people that have always been there for me. That action alone has easily increased my happiness factor by 100.
Since my family passed, I've also sold my home (two homes, actually) and all the contents in them; I'm about to sell my luxury car; quit my stable, well-paying job; and jump on a plane out west to rent a tiny studio, drive a beater car, and not have a clue where I'm going to work while I live on savings and just enjoy life for a little while and figure out what I want the next phase of my career to be (and if that means taking a large pay cut to restore my sanity and happiness, so be it ).
Some think I'm nuts, but friends that know me best think it's the right thing to do, after what I've been through. Either way, I say why the heck not? Life is too short.
SunnyTXsmile..A little more about "baskets"...Some people have been trying to invite me into their "baskets." (Their families and their lives etc.) And this is so nice!...But I'm not quite at the "plug-in stage" just yet...Rushing right into the new "baskets" means putting my grief on "hold." And acting like I'm "fine." (When this isn't exactly true yet.)...I think it's important to take a little time out to honor my "dead." To honor all the people who have been part of the "tapestry" and "fabric" of my life...It's good to know that there are some new "baskets" waiting for me when I'm ready to step into them. (Or if I feel like stepping into them!)...The truth is that I have one "basket" left and it has my name on it!...And over time I'll decide what I want to put in my "basket." And whether I want to gather-up some new "baskets" along the way for my "eggs!"...Right now I want to honor my "veterans" and my "dead" and all that they contributed to my life! (And how they contributed to making me "who I am" today!)...Have you ever felt like this?..I don't mind stepping into other "baskets" at times. But don't ask me to "sweep" my loved ones under the "rug" at this particular point in time! (Because I still have more grieving and "honoring" left to do!)
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