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Old 10-25-2012, 10:09 AM
 
Location: Lower east side of Toronto
10,589 posts, read 10,315,657 times
Reputation: 9271

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Love to you and your family....don't view the body...It is not needed...The person is no longer in there...have faith...and hope that God shows mercy to the living and takes the deceased into his loving arms granting grace.....LOVE...is what it's about- You are a good family...continue to love..
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Old 10-25-2012, 12:34 PM
 
Location: New York State, USA
142 posts, read 202,806 times
Reputation: 173
Thank you, again, thank you. I know many people do not view the body, yet, the way I was raised, it is a sign of respect. And a goodbye. I know the person's soul is not in there. And that the funeral is for the living, for support for the family who survives. I am sad that this young man is gone. I am sad that his father and immediate family are grieving. I am talking online here to take my time before going in there in an hour.

This isn't really about me. Or it shouldn't be. I suppose a death affects all who knew the deceased. I just do not know how to go in there when I know the father is going to be a wreck. We were children together. His son is gone.

Maybe I will stop crying in enough time to be okay for him. There is not much else to do. Other than console and comfort.

Thank you for your prayers.
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Old 10-25-2012, 12:49 PM
 
Location: Texas
25 posts, read 26,432 times
Reputation: 64
Sudden death is hard to deal with especially when the person is young. I pray peace and comfort for you and your family now and the days to come. I'm truly sorry for your loss.
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Old 10-25-2012, 06:25 PM
 
3,284 posts, read 6,288,231 times
Reputation: 8308
You are in my thoughts, OP. At least it was over quickly.

I'd much rather die suddenly than of a long-lasting disease or gradually degenerate into a vegetable from Alzheimer's or something.
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Old 10-25-2012, 06:45 PM
 
15,824 posts, read 18,434,141 times
Reputation: 25604
Prayers going out to all of You!! I lost my Sister suddenly this past July...I will always be thankful that we had been on the phone just days before laughing for over 2 hours...I'm so sorry for your loss.
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Old 10-26-2012, 09:23 AM
 
Location: New York State, USA
142 posts, read 202,806 times
Reputation: 173
Thank you all, again.

This is the day after the services.

You know how families drift in and out, well, this cousin and I had complicated lives. We tried to keep intouch while our kids were growing up, and we did for awhile. The last time I saw his son was a few years ago, but had recently run into my cousin and his fiance at a restaurant. He spoke so highly of his son and that's when he told me that his ex-wife died a year ago.

So, when they seent me an email about th son's death, I just couoldn't beleive it.

He was a bit older than what I thought. He was 32. And the father of a little girl. I didn't know that.

And so, the young man I remember was small in stature, gentle, and fun-loving.

When you remember someone like that, at least for me, I don't think of him being as "old" as he was.

Still, he was young.

So many blended families there at the wake. So many people handling divorce and re-marriage with grace and manners. So much love.

And here, my cousin and I shared a childhood. Another one of our cousins came in, too, and we supported each other. The advance of generations, the advance of age on our faces and our hair (or lack of!), and the advance of wisdome.

My little cousin, with whom I recall playing in back yards, him being the youngest of the group, sometimes reduced to tears by something us older kids said or did, and now, he's crying again. This time, he lost his son. And we were there for him.

His mother, unsure of how the "other" side of the family would respond, asked him earlier in the day, "Do you think that so-and-so will be there?" And he said, "Yes, Mom, they will be there. We were kids together. They'll be there."

And we were.

The two other cousins from other families came and stayed with the youngest cousin until the wee hours of the morning, making sure he got into his house okay. We hugged and cried. And said we'd be there for him.

We all took roses from the flower arrangements. Mine's in a vase on my desk.

There's more to say, but in my next post...
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Old 10-26-2012, 05:51 PM
 
Location: State of Being
35,885 posts, read 65,242,129 times
Reputation: 22270
Thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers. I am so glad you have wonderful memories to think about and share with other family members. I know that has been meaningful to them, as well.
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Old 10-26-2012, 06:26 PM
 
Location: Olympia, WA
363 posts, read 405,024 times
Reputation: 699
My sincere condolences to you and your family on this loss.
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Old 10-27-2012, 08:51 PM
 
Location: Florida Gulf Coast
4,083 posts, read 5,496,975 times
Reputation: 6407
Taulery, I am so sorry to hear about your cousin. Obviously, this has hit you very hard. I'm glad you were able to get to the funeral and have the support of other family members to help you through this difficult time.

By the way, the son of your first cousin would be your first cousin, once-removed. The kinship relationships between cousins is very confusing but I've researched it a lot because I have so many cousins. And many of them have passed way too young, as well.

Hope you will feel better as time goes by.
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Old 10-27-2012, 09:23 PM
 
Location: Kirkwood, DE and beautiful SXM!
12,054 posts, read 19,640,051 times
Reputation: 31734
My condolences to you and yours. I have known several people who died suddenly~~talking to them one day and then gone the next. Makes you realize how precious life is and to live it as best as you can.
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