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Old 12-18-2012, 10:27 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn,NY
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The 18th made 8 months that my dad passed away. It went so fast =(
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Old 12-19-2012, 05:56 AM
 
Location: SWFL
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My gfs across the street invited me over to Christmas dinner yesterday. That will make the day brighter for me now.

What a pretty ornament from them that I found in my mailbox yesterday too. It's so nice to have good friends.
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Old 12-19-2012, 06:42 AM
 
Location: Sneads Ferry NC/Randolph NJ/Cape Coral FL
12,925 posts, read 24,052,828 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by smilinpretty View Post
I know for me this holiday season is a rough one. I wish us all the best during this season without our love ones.
Yes for me as well!! Just lost my Dad in July and to complicate the issue even more my Dad's birthday is Christmas...
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Old 12-19-2012, 02:11 PM
 
Location: Olympia, WA
363 posts, read 405,210 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamiznluv View Post
My gfs across the street invited me over to Christmas dinner yesterday. That will make the day brighter for me now.

What a pretty ornament from them that I found in my mailbox yesterday too. It's so nice to have good friends.
Oh tami, that is great!! I'm glad you will not be alone but with friends. That will make so much difference. And the ornament just shows how much you mean to them. What a thoughtful gesture!!

My girlfriend (that lived across the street from me) that has become like a sister to me......we are going out to dinner on Friday evening! Mexican again, probably!! She is going to nursing school and is out for the rest of the year. We both need a break and this will be it.....lots of girl talk and such. We are about the same age and can just act like our crazy ole selves around each other and it is wonderful to have a close friend like her.
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Old 12-19-2012, 02:14 PM
 
Location: Olympia, WA
363 posts, read 405,210 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by njkate View Post
Yes for me as well!! Just lost my Dad in July and to complicate the issue even more my Dad's birthday is Christmas...
Oh kate, I am so sorry for your loss. So new is your grief. I have lost both of my parents and now my husband in April. This will be a difficult Christmas for me as well.

I am hoping that you can have good memories of your dad and they will comfort you this holiday season.

God bless,
tngirl
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Old 12-19-2012, 04:36 PM
 
Location: Somewhere flat in Mississippi
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I am 44 years old, have been unemployed over a decade, and am on disability. I spent too many years in college and too much borrowed money, only to find my full-time career (librarian) lasting less than four years due to "issues". Dad died in 2006 after a few years of illness. Mom and I share the house. She is on disability and depressed, too. The loss of a family member and financial reversals leave both of us with "holiday blues". Watching classic Christmas shows like Rudolph, Santa Claus is Comin' to Town, and A Charlie Brown Christmas just make me feel more sad and sentimental. I wish I could spend Christmas away from here. My favorite one was spent alone in the mountains of east Tennessee and western North Carolina in 1994, when I was living over there. I was unable to return home due to a lack of money, so I went for a drive. When I made it up to a certain elevation, it was snowing! The first and only "White Christmas" I experienced!
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Old 12-20-2012, 08:06 AM
 
Location: SWFL
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Mouldy Old Schmo View Post
I am 44 years old, have been unemployed over a decade, and am on disability. I spent too many years in college and too much borrowed money, only to find my full-time career (librarian) lasting less than four years due to "issues". Dad died in 2006 after a few years of illness. Mom and I share the house. She is on disability and depressed, too. The loss of a family member and financial reversals leave both of us with "holiday blues". Watching classic Christmas shows like Rudolph, Santa Claus is Comin' to Town, and A Charlie Brown Christmas just make me feel more sad and sentimental. I wish I could spend Christmas away from here. My favorite one was spent alone in the mountains of east Tennessee and western North Carolina in 1994, when I was living over there. I was unable to return home due to a lack of money, so I went for a drive. When I made it up to a certain elevation, it was snowing! The first and only "White Christmas" I experienced!
Sorry about the loss of your Dad, Mouldy, no matter how much time has passed.

I'm also sorry to hear both you and your Mom are living in depression. I know full well about "reversal of finances". That alone causes me some depression. Actually, much depression. No way will I watch the Christmas classics this year or maybe never again. I used to be able to walk into a car dealership, pick out which car I wanted and get it. Not now. My bills used to be paid inadvance. Not now. I don't answer my land-line because of bill collectors. I've never lived this way until my husband died almost 12 months ago. Still, I am fortunate that I have a roof over my head, can have a computer and have a stable income coming in until the Feds do their thing with SS that is. Downsized but still surviving.

Your drive sounds wonderful for someone who had never experienced a "White Christmas". I may have one this year, literally. "They" are saying it may snow Christmas Eve. and I don't look forward to the shoveling. Last year with only one storm was terrific and that was February 14th I think.

I wish you a peaceful Christmas Day then.
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Old 12-20-2012, 09:32 PM
 
Location: Striving for Avalon
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Christmas has had a nasty way of highlighting what my household and I don't have. When I was a kid, I learned quickly that Santa seemed to favour those higher up on the socioeconomic ladder (ie, my cousins who didn't have an alcoholic father who spent like a drunken sailor).

Then, after my mother broke free, matters improved over a 9 year period...until she died after a brief but excruciating and agonizing struggle with endometrial (uterine) cancer in September, 2011. While I won't detail every shame here (estate wrangling, issues with the house, my father's return, my sister), I will say this: the situation has become downright depressing 15 months later. Dad promised my mother that upon moving back in After a couple of shouting matches with dad, my sister effectively left out of disgust. To compound indignity upon tragedy, dad swore to mom to cover all bills ($3-4k per annum) and taxes($15k p.a.). Yeah, Long Island, NY taxes are extortionate. He hasn't paid a dime in taxes. My sister and I pay them out of the estate's money. There was talk that the estate would pay taxes, and my father give money to us. My sister hasn't seen a dime, and I've seen a total of about $950 of birthday and graduation money. And the dog he got through work (sprung that surprise on us 5 days before mom died) adds an extra $400 per month to his check (not that that does the household any good) while it defecates on the floor and rips up our yard.

So...

I deal with an empty house, which is a mixed blessing. On the one hand, it's lonely. On the other, my father is out much of the time (the more, the better), and my sister isn't dragging her pot buddies back for a smoke-up. At least I have my dog. What turned from a small but intimate family holiday has now involved jackassing to another relative's house as the "lost lamb." The very familial nature of the holiday makes me feel like an outsider regardless of whomever's house I end up at. I'd rather do what I do when I'm home (read: when I'm not at school overseas) on a friday: hole up with my dog and a sushi dinner and watch something, maybe going for a run with said dog at midnight.
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Old 12-20-2012, 10:48 PM
 
Location: New York State, USA
142 posts, read 202,849 times
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I've been in numbing for the past few days, ever since sobbing uncontrolably over the shootings. It's as if nothing's happened, to them, or to the loved ones I know are gone. The tree is up, the lights are on, and it's just a matter of time before I feel it again.

A friend of mine lost her husband last year. The anniversary day came and went. She said she dealt with it like any other day. Maybe I'm shutting down for a reason...too much, too much.
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Old 12-21-2012, 09:52 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,431 posts, read 18,144,759 times
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Amelorn, you really should house train the dog.

Sorry to hear about your mother. Sorry to hear about your life! Things could be worse, your mother's estate could have no money and you wouldn't have the house to live in. At least you get to go overseas! Sushi...yuck. At least you have family to go to even if you do feel like "the lost lamb". Things could be a lot worse, dear.

Whatever you do next Tuesday, be thankful for what you do have.

~Peace~
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