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Old 12-04-2012, 05:57 PM
 
Location: WY
4,911 posts, read 3,489,519 times
Reputation: 5385

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My son died on Thursday April 26. 32 weeks ago on Thursday. He was 28. He left behind a pregnant wife.

I wrote this in August. It is long. Eight parts long but I had a lot to say. There's nothing hopeful or inspirational or insightful in it that would really help anyone. It's just the story of a mother and her now dead child.

I've been reading threads on here for months and feel as though I have little in common. I don't believe in God or signs or that he is "out there" somewhere. He's just dead. And there's no way to justify it or make sense of it or explain it. And there is no peace.

I don't know if I'm really allowed to post a blog address and if I'm not, please just delete. Part 1.

Wyoming Wind Songs: I Love You Baby - Part 1
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Old 12-04-2012, 06:34 PM
 
809 posts, read 1,862,239 times
Reputation: 1497
I'm already crying. Please share the rest of it. If it's now allowed on the forum please personal/direct message me.

Regards,

second right

ETA: I just discovered the other parts. I am going to read them now.
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Old 12-04-2012, 06:57 PM
 
Location: SWFL
21,439 posts, read 18,159,189 times
Reputation: 18824
Quote:
Originally Posted by juneaubound View Post
My son died on Thursday April 26. 32 weeks ago on Thursday. He was 28. He left behind a pregnant wife.

I wrote this in August. It is long. Eight parts long but I had a lot to say. There's nothing hopeful or inspirational or insightful in it that would really help anyone. It's just the story of a mother and her now dead child.

I've been reading threads on here for months and feel as though I have little in common. I don't believe in God or signs or that he is "out there" somewhere. He's just dead. And there's no way to justify it or make sense of it or explain it. And there is no peace.

I don't know if I'm really allowed to post a blog address and if I'm not, please just delete. Part 1.

Wyoming Wind Songs: I Love You Baby - Part 1
Oh, juneau. It is wonderful. You bring me right into your life as you lived it. I can just see Sean and Chris and you at the lake or the park. I am spellbound with your blog. Please post more so I can continue on this journey of watching your boys grow up. Thank you so much for sharing your life with us.

I'm sorry you feel like you don't "fit in". It doesn't matter to me that you don't believe in God and I doubt anyone else cares either. I wish you did though and feel the comfort of loving a God that loves us back. Whatever, I hope you will "feel the love" for you that we share here. Please accept our piddly human efforts to try and help you carry this extremely hurtful sorrow you have in your heart.

(((HUGS))),
~tami~
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Old 12-04-2012, 06:58 PM
 
Location: SWFL
21,439 posts, read 18,159,189 times
Reputation: 18824
Quote:
Originally Posted by second right View Post
I'm already crying. Please share the rest of it. If it's now allowed on the forum please personal/direct message me.

Regards,

second right

ETA: I just discovered the other parts. I am going to read them now.
Oooh, there's more? How do I find them, 2ndright? I'm going to go click hunting now.
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Old 12-05-2012, 12:31 AM
 
3,936 posts, read 5,449,683 times
Reputation: 4156
I lost my son when he was 28 also. On October 28th. 4 years ago. I'm so sorry you went through this too.
I became obsessed with finding out "where" my son was. I read and listened to everything I could find on the subject, and pretty much ended up feeling the same as you. I found out more than I could ever imagine about the bible and religion, and ex christians, and why they were exes. The following is a good site. I look forward to reading about the life of your family.

http://whywontgodhealamputees.com/

Last edited by Jess5; 12-05-2012 at 12:40 AM..
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Old 12-05-2012, 11:53 PM
 
Location: 900 miles from my home in 80814
4,670 posts, read 6,744,379 times
Reputation: 7078
Juneau, I started reading your blog on this PC, then wanted to get under the covers and read, so I finished reading on my laptop in bed. I was mesmerized, and I couldn't stop reading. I finally finished it about 2:30 a.m. Your writing so clear and yet very descriptive. I laughed, I "awwwed", I cried. Incredibly beautiful blog. Your love for Sean is so strong, I know he'll always be with you.
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Old 12-06-2012, 08:12 AM
 
Location: WY
4,911 posts, read 3,489,519 times
Reputation: 5385
Jessica's baby was born on October 22. Six weeks early, weighing 4 pounds seven ounces and 17 inches long. He is healthy and was named after his father.

Thanks to everyone who took time to read it.
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Old 12-06-2012, 02:33 PM
 
Location: Texas
8,668 posts, read 19,922,306 times
Reputation: 21277
My condolences. We lost our 16 year old son in a car accident 11 years ago along with 2 of his friends who also were killed. Healing comes but I think most people never completely heal from the loss of their child. Don't get me wrong. It DOES get easier with time, but even now, I still love and miss our Aaron (who was our only child) every day of my life and I think I always will. He is never more than a few thoughts away and forever in my heart.

I will check out your blog.mod cut

( (Just started your blog and noticed our son would have been close in age to yours. Our son was born on 12/12/84.)

Last edited by Sam I Am; 12-06-2012 at 04:08 PM.. Reason: I'm so sorry, that could be construed as advertising, which isn't allowed. Contact the poster via DM
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Old 12-06-2012, 03:11 PM
 
Location: Texas
8,668 posts, read 19,922,306 times
Reputation: 21277
I have already read much of your blog. You write very well and it is very poignant. I can only assure you that it WILL get better, but it generally takes a very long time. Just try to hang in there day by day in the meantime.
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Old 12-21-2012, 11:24 PM
 
1,385 posts, read 1,780,396 times
Reputation: 1806
Quote:
Originally Posted by kaykay View Post
My condolences. We lost our 16 year old son in a car accident 11 years ago along with 2 of his friends who also were killed. Healing comes but I think most people never completely heal from the loss of their child. Don't get me wrong. It DOES get easier with time, but even now, I still love and miss our Aaron (who was our only child) every day of my life and I think I always will. He is never more than a few thoughts away and forever in my heart.

I will check out your blog.mod cut

( (Just started your blog and noticed our son would have been close in age to yours. Our son was born on 12/12/84.)
I feel sad after reading about the loss of your son in a car accident. I have just one child, a son, who is five and I can't imagine something tragic like that happening. I am always worried about him as I was such a reckless, stupid child/teenager/young adult.
I don't know how you feel about this but...God bless you in the future years.
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