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Old 01-07-2013, 08:33 AM
 
Location: On Earth
399 posts, read 579,493 times
Reputation: 593

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Hi all,

I don't usually come to this forum since I've not needed it but today I'm just over the top with sadness. My MIL passed yesterday morning. I came to work today to try to not think about it but it's not easy. She was a wonderful woman but her time to be with the Lord was finally called. She was ready to go since she suffered the last 3 years with COPD. What's hard is being at work, cause you have no choice due to loss of income if I don't come in and wanting to be with husband for the comfort. I'll get through this as I have my parents but it's just sad. Not easy and I understand the grieving process. Just felt like posting this to help me get through this myself.

Thanks for listening.
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Old 01-07-2013, 09:10 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,431 posts, read 18,139,040 times
Reputation: 18811
Quote:
Originally Posted by tinkerbell030681 View Post
Hi all,

I don't usually come to this forum since I've not needed it but today I'm just over the top with sadness. My MIL passed yesterday morning. I came to work today to try to not think about it but it's not easy. She was a wonderful woman but her time to be with the Lord was finally called. She was ready to go since she suffered the last 3 years with COPD. What's hard is being at work, cause you have no choice due to loss of income if I don't come in and wanting to be with husband for the comfort. I'll get through this as I have my parents but it's just sad. Not easy and I understand the grieving process. Just felt like posting this to help me get through this myself.

Thanks for listening.
I'm very sorry for your husband's and your loss, tink. You don't have berevement time at your place of work? Huhn, I thought only cheap joints like fast food did that to a person, like me. I'm sorry you have to make that tough choice. Been there, done that. I know this sounds so trite but it is the truth, she is out of her misery now and onto a better place. I hope you believe that, it gives one some comfort.

My sympathies to you and and your family.

God Bless.
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Old 01-07-2013, 07:05 PM
 
Location: Olympia, WA
363 posts, read 405,210 times
Reputation: 699
Quote:
Originally Posted by tinkerbell030681 View Post
Hi all,

I don't usually come to this forum since I've not needed it but today I'm just over the top with sadness. My MIL passed yesterday morning. I came to work today to try to not think about it but it's not easy. She was a wonderful woman but her time to be with the Lord was finally called. She was ready to go since she suffered the last 3 years with COPD. What's hard is being at work, cause you have no choice due to loss of income if I don't come in and wanting to be with husband for the comfort. I'll get through this as I have my parents but it's just sad. Not easy and I understand the grieving process. Just felt like posting this to help me get through this myself.

Thanks for listening.
We are here for you tinkerbell, anytime. Please accept my sincere condolences for the loss of your MIL. I know what a struggle COPD is. My husband of 32 years had COPD and severe emphysema for the last 6 years. I watched him slowly and painfully decline until he died at home in his sleep. What a blessing it was for him not to suffer anymore, but how lost I feel without him.

I am so sorry that your work would not give you some time off; that is lame. But you have to do what you have to do, even in the hardest of times.

BTW, I have also lost both my parents, and now my husband....so I really feel alone. This forum has been exactly what I needed in this time of my life. I find love, support and understanding here. I hope you will do the same.

Again, so sorry to you and your family for this loss. Please keep us posted on how you are doing, we care.

tngirl
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Old 01-08-2013, 09:56 AM
 
13,773 posts, read 32,995,672 times
Reputation: 10524
{{{{{{{ HUGS}}}}}}}

Tinkerbell... Sometimes just the venting helps. It is sad that you have to be at work during this difficult time and I honestly don't understand how some employers can be so insensitive towards their employees.

No matter how sick someone is before they pass and you think you are prepared, you aren't prepared for it once it happens.

Feel free to post your feelings that is what we are here for to listen
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Old 01-08-2013, 11:38 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,431 posts, read 18,139,040 times
Reputation: 18811
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keeper View Post
{{{{{{{ HUGS}}}}}}}

Tinkerbell... Sometimes just the venting helps. It is sad that you have to be at work during this difficult time and I honestly don't understand how some employers can be so insensitive towards their employees.

No matter how sick someone is before they pass and you think you are prepared, you aren't prepared for it once it happens.

Feel free to post your feelings that is what we are here for to listen
Keeper, maybe tinkerbell is in a postion like I was...I HAD to work unless I was so deathly ill I couldn't stand up. I think most employers are sensitive to this kind of situation but no work, no pay and that is difficult for many.

Fortunately I was in a union shop when my mother, mil and then my dad all passed and I got time off with pay. When Earl died I worked at McDonald's and could have all the time off I wanted, I took a week and a half off but got no pay for that time and it sure hurt the pocketbook.

I think cheapo places like McDonald's should have berevement days. Granted, the majority of their employees are kids but older people hold down the fort M-F during the daytime and they should get that benefit.
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Old 01-09-2013, 06:59 AM
 
13,773 posts, read 32,995,672 times
Reputation: 10524
I do understand how it is I just wish it was better for those who need it. Where I worked they gave you '3' days according to the policy if you lost someone in your immediate family. I think they had that in there for people who lie about losing a loved one. I had one who worked with me who had several of the same relatives die more than once.

When my DH passed I took 2 weeks and was paid for them. There was no way I could have gone back after 3 days
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Old 01-09-2013, 09:17 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,431 posts, read 18,139,040 times
Reputation: 18811
Quote:
Originally Posted by Keeper View Post
I do understand how it is I just wish it was better for those who need it. Where I worked they gave you '3' days according to the policy if you lost someone in your immediate family. I think they had that in there for people who lie about losing a loved one. I had one who worked with me who had several of the same relatives die more than once.

When my DH passed I took 2 weeks and was paid for them. There was no way I could have gone back after 3 days
Yeah, the standard rule of thumb is 3 days. WTH? How is a person supposed to be back to work after 3 days? I can understand "lesser" deaths but a parent? A spouse? No way.

I worked with a guy who "lost" the same relative over and over too, Keeper. And he got paid everytime!
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Old 01-10-2013, 10:46 AM
 
Location: On Earth
399 posts, read 579,493 times
Reputation: 593
Yeah, that is 3 days if they employer wants to give it to you. They don't have to and here they don't. If I take any time off it's at my expense too. Can't afford that. Company is small but big enough that they could afford to pay me regardless but they won't. So I'm back at work, now sick as a dog. Probably caught the flu that everyone else had during this time. My turn. I got my immune system down so much that I had to go and catch it. URGGGGG!!! Thanks all for your thoughts, truly appreciate it!
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Old 01-11-2013, 05:28 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,431 posts, read 18,139,040 times
Reputation: 18811
Quote:
Originally Posted by tinkerbell030681 View Post
Yeah, that is 3 days if they employer wants to give it to you. They don't have to and here they don't. If I take any time off it's at my expense too. Can't afford that. Company is small but big enough that they could afford to pay me regardless but they won't. So I'm back at work, now sick as a dog. Probably caught the flu that everyone else had during this time. My turn. I got my immune system down so much that I had to go and catch it. URGGGGG!!! Thanks all for your thoughts, truly appreciate it!
Sorry you got sick to boot, tink. May our Lord watch over you and your family. (((HUGS)))
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Old 01-15-2013, 05:29 PM
 
311 posts, read 355,758 times
Reputation: 498
Default sorry for your loss

Quote:
Originally Posted by tinkerbell030681 View Post
Yeah, that is 3 days if they employer wants to give it to you. They don't have to and here they don't. If I take any time off it's at my expense too. Can't afford that. Company is small but big enough that they could afford to pay me regardless but they won't. So I'm back at work, now sick as a dog. Probably caught the flu that everyone else had during this time. My turn. I got my immune system down so much that I had to go and catch it. URGGGGG!!! Thanks all for your thoughts, truly appreciate it!

So Sorry for your loss...sounds like you and the hubby need some comfort time. That's terrible that you can't get a little time off. But understandable that you dont want to lose money. But, you do need to take care of yourself. (I don't mean that in a selfish way). Sometimes we have to step back & listen to our bodies. Hope you get over the flu soon. Once again sorry for your loss.
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