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Old 09-16-2013, 12:37 AM
 
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[quote=CArizona;31323610]
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamiznluv View Post
Nobody remembers these BIG dates of OUR lives, nor should they be expected to. It's a totally personal thing IMO.[/IQUOTE] I agree...This is why I was so surprised when my longtime friend called and remembered the anniversary date of my son's death all on her own.
Not sure what that makes me. I remember death dates of some who were close to me. Their survivors seemed to appreciate someone remembering.

MSR
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Old 09-16-2013, 02:21 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,528 posts, read 18,196,462 times
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[quote=Mtn. States Resident;31428515]
Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post

Not sure what that makes me. I remember death dates of some who were close to me. Their survivors seemed to appreciate someone remembering.

MSR
A person with a good memory? I have so many dates in my brain....even birthdays of childhood friends, that newer dates don't seem to stick much.
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Old 09-16-2013, 03:27 AM
 
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[quote=tamiznluv;31428913]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mtn. States Resident View Post

A person with a good memory? I have so many dates in my brain....even birthdays of childhood friends, that newer dates don't seem to stick much.
Hey Tami, Funny. What are you doing up?
Memories are complex. Sometimes it's too painful to remember or sometimes we re so overwhelmed with other things to do we can't remember. Our brains do have some built in mechanisms to release neurotransmitters when it's too much for us to remember.

Physical illness can leave us depleted too. When it takes all we have to battle an illness or injury, we forget lots.

Good for you can remembering great things about important dates from your childhood.

So to kind of get back on topic, I think it's an individual thing if we remember dates friends/ families lost those most important to them. What I had never considered before is maybe spouses, parents and others don't want me to acknowledge those dates. I wouldn't want to cause pain to immediate survivors.
.
I hope our new friend will post here to. She posted in the thr es ad I wrote about my neighbors who are intellectually delayed her moving post about events when she stood by her daughter's casket immediately before her daughter's Funeral Mass began. Check out her post and make suggestions of some of the better threads to read here.

Tani, I get mixed up who posts certain comments in which threads herr.

MSR
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Old 09-16-2013, 11:02 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,528 posts, read 18,196,462 times
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[quote=Mtn. States Resident;31429071]
Quote:
Originally Posted by tamiznluv View Post

Hey Tami, Funny. What are you doing up?
Memories are complex. Sometimes it's too painful to remember or sometimes we re so overwhelmed with other things to do we can't remember. Our brains do have some built in mechanisms to release neurotransmitters when it's too much for us to remember.

Physical illness can leave us depleted too. When it takes all we have to battle an illness or injury, we forget lots.

Good for you can remembering great things about important dates from your childhood.

So to kind of get back on topic, I think it's an individual thing if we remember dates friends/ families lost those most important to them. What I had never considered before is maybe spouses, parents and others don't want me to acknowledge those dates. I wouldn't want to cause pain to immediate survivors.
.
I hope our new friend will post here to. She posted in the thr es ad I wrote about my neighbors who are intellectually delayed her moving post about events when she stood by her daughter's casket immediately before her daughter's Funeral Mass began. Check out her post and make suggestions of some of the better threads to read here.

Tani, I get mixed up who posts certain comments in which threads herr.

MSR
Couldn't sleep.

Macrina, on pages 9,10 and eleven are threads dealing with the loss of children. You could read those and see how others are dealing. Or, you could start your own thread and let those pent-up feelings out. There are others here who have also lost a child....one lady has lost BOTH her sons and hubby in a short span of time!

Do feel welcome and at ease here. Nice bunch of folks. My condolences to you for having lost your most precious daughter, no matter how much time has passed.
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Old 09-16-2013, 01:33 PM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,184,524 times
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My memory can be foggy at times too...Right now I'm trying to keep the first anniversary date of my son's cat's death on my mind..."Kitty" died unexpectedly on September 19th. (Exactly 2 weeks after my son died.)...I lost 2 cats in 2011. Lost my son and "Kitty" in 2012...And so far this year I've lost 2 more cats.. And I lost my husband in 2010 and my older son in 2008...I have a lot of dates to remember (these days) when it comes to my own family. (Humans and cats!)...I'd love to remember other peoples' "dates" but this isn't always the case...I have one last cat left. (My son's other cat "Gracie.") I keep telling her that she better not "bail out" on me! No more deaths for awhile!
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Old 09-17-2013, 04:11 AM
 
8,440 posts, read 10,734,584 times
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[quote=tamiznluv;31432400]
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mtn. States Resident View Post

Couldn't sleep.

Macrina, on pages 9,10 and eleven are threads dealing with the loss of children. You could read those and see how others are dealing. Or, you could start your own thread and let those pent-up feelings out. There are others here who have also lost a child....one lady has lost BOTH her sons and hubby in a short span of time!

Do feel welcome and at ease here. Nice bunch of folks. My condolences to you for having lost your most precious daughter, no matter how much time has passed.
Very nice and helpful post, Tami. Many here do try to understand and while circumstances may be different, the feelings aren't.

Thanks for inviting Macrina and others to post. If a parent or spouse had an event happen when they lost family members and it's painful now is the time to post here and get new ideas or support to look at the issue again, if appropriate.

MSR
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Old 09-17-2013, 04:28 AM
 
8,440 posts, read 10,734,584 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
My memory can be foggy at times too...Right now I'm trying to keep the first anniversary date of my son's cat's death on my mind..."Kitty" died unexpectedly on September 19th. (Exactly 2 weeks after my son died.)...I lost 2 cats in 2011. Lost my son and "Kitty" in 2012...And so far this year I've lost 2 more cats.. And I lost my husband in 2010 and my older son in 2008...I have a lot of dates to remember (these days) when it comes to my own family. (Humans and cats!)...I'd love to remember other peoples' "dates" but this isn't always the case...I have one last cat left. (My son's other cat "Gracie.") I keep telling her that she better not "bail out" on me! No more deaths for awhile!
CA,

Do you use a calendar go mark all the dates? Sometimes it's more than a person can take forvarious reasons. Having too much to handle in too short of a time .

You had another post somewhere I tried to write about but I kept falling asleep. It's been a tough week being in an MRI scanner for 2 hrs.a week ago and still not having the report, let alone how I feel.

Actually there were two posts I wanted to respond to. When I find them I'll post.

MSR
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Old 09-17-2013, 06:40 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
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MSR...Hope you get the results back from your MRI soon and hear good news. (And feel better.)...Don't feel bad about falling asleep when you read my posts! I can be a "rambler" and even repetitive...Get "carried away" at times!...No I don't write all the dates of everyone's death on a calendar. Maybe I should.
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Old 09-17-2013, 09:36 PM
 
8,440 posts, read 10,734,584 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
MSR...Hope you get the results back from your MRI soon and hear good news. (And feel better.)...Don't feel bad about falling asleep when you read my posts! I can be a "rambler" and even repetitive...Get "carried away" at times!...No I don't write all the dates of everyone's death on a calendar. Maybe I should.
CA,

No, it was me and issued here that exhausted me.

What harm can it do to keep a calendar of important dates? If you don't want others to see, I've found old cell phone calenders work well when charged.

Thanks for your good wishes

MSR
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Old 09-19-2013, 07:35 PM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,184,524 times
Reputation: 3514
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mtn. States Resident View Post
CA,

No, it was me and issued here that exhausted me.

What harm can it do to keep a calendar of important dates? If you don't want others to see, I've found old cell phone calenders work well when charged.

Thanks for your good wishes

MSR
No harm in writing dates down. Maybe I will in time...Right now I'm trying to work on keeping my memory "sharp!" But the list of "dates" keeps growing and growing...
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