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Old 09-23-2013, 12:48 PM
 
Location: "Daytonnati"
4,245 posts, read 5,754,530 times
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Quote:
What harm can it do to keep a calendar of important dates?
I keep brithdays in the back of my address book. On New Years Day, I get out my new kitchen wall calender, and go through it marking both those dates, and the day I need to have cards/presents in the mail. I have four freinds that I am close enough to to include their birthdays as part of my card/present list, and those four freinds were there for me when my partner passed...in fact we have all become even closer...his death brought us closer.
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Old 09-23-2013, 07:59 PM
 
2,759 posts, read 3,314,185 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by TughillTina View Post
I am not a widow but wanted to say that Moonlady is so right about this whole thing.

I lost my mom in a plane crash and the most helpful comment to me was-the phone will quit ringing after the funeral-how right they were.

I had to take a hard look at myself and realize that my grieving was very difficult to be around. People just could not relate to my situation.

Now if anyone around me loses a loved one suddenly or has to bury a child, I issue a warning so to speak. People will say stupid things-treat you different-avoid you completely. This is just part of the process.
They certainly will. I know from experience.
I expect little to nothing from people. It's a nice, rare surprise when one of them gets real and genuinely asks how you're doing - and really listens. When they make you laugh (like one did for me, just being himself), it's great. I always appreciated him making me laugh.
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Old 10-27-2013, 09:35 PM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,179,672 times
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When my husband was alive I talked to friends who live a distance away every few weeks or so on the phone. (Maybe even once a month or every other month at times!)...This schedule worked for my friends since they lead busy lives and have large families. And it worked for me too...But now, my life is totally different. (Since my husband and both my sons passed-away.)...I stick with the same schedule with my friends because they still lead full and busy lives.. I know it's up to me to make some new friends who have a little more "free time!" (Like I do now!)
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