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Old 02-25-2013, 12:33 PM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,175,549 times
Reputation: 3514

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Marcy..I miss taking trips too...Over the past few days I've been thinking about all the fun trips my husband and I used to take over the years...Miss so many things...Sorry it was so awkward for you at the open house.
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Old 02-25-2013, 01:00 PM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,175,549 times
Reputation: 3514
Right after the holidays I noticed that my widowed neighbor seemed pale and "down" and depressed and even thinner...I decided to bring him over a steak and some other food...He said he hadn't been shopping or cooking for awhile. He missed his wife over the holidays...He started to perk-up after that and even took a long walk to the river one day to get back in shape...Anyway he wanted to pay me back for the food and invited me out to lunch at a local casino buffet last week...We were surrounded by friendly "snowbirds" in line which was nice. Except they assumed we were married. (Which felt weird!)...Lunch went well. He's a nice person but I felt a bit awkward...He came back over to visit right away but I kept it short.. It seems like he views me as a "good replacement" for his wife but I don't feel the same way...I thought he was "safe" because he missed his wife so much. And I've told him all along that I still have grief to work through over losing my husband and son...I've been "barricaded" inside for a few days. Think I should probably mind my own business from now on...But he's a nice person and I'll say "hi" and wave at him after I have a little "breathing space" for awhile. I got "spooked!"...And now I feel guilty for ignoring him. YUKKO!
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Old 02-25-2013, 01:09 PM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,175,549 times
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tngirl and Jude...A cruise sounds great! Of course I hope we won't have to deal with "sewage" or power-outages like the passengers on the Carnival ship had to deal with recently!
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Old 02-25-2013, 03:37 PM
 
1,050 posts, read 2,867,430 times
Reputation: 1172
Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
Right after the holidays I noticed that my widowed neighbor seemed pale and "down" and depressed and even thinner...I decided to bring him over a steak and some other food...He said he hadn't been shopping or cooking for awhile. He missed his wife over the holidays...He started to perk-up after that and even took a long walk to the river one day to get back in shape...Anyway he wanted to pay me back for the food and invited me out to lunch at a local casino buffet last week...We were surrounded by friendly "snowbirds" in line which was nice. Except they assumed we were married. (Which felt weird!)...Lunch went well. He's a nice person but I felt a bit awkward...He came back over to visit right away but I kept it short.. It seems like he views me as a "good replacement" for his wife but I don't feel the same way...I thought he was "safe" because he missed his wife so much. And I've told him all along that I still have grief to work through over losing my husband and son...I've been "barricaded" inside for a few days. Think I should probably mind my own business from now on...But he's a nice person and I'll say "hi" and wave at him after I have a little "breathing space" for awhile. I got "spooked!"...And now I feel guilty for ignoring him. YUKKO!

Hi CA, We can get outselves into some situations can't we. Years ago I befriend a gal...we were taking our kids to the nearby pool for swim lessons. Little did I know she was very needy person, and started talking about needing money for milk for her daughter, etc. I had to avoid her as well and I felt guilty.

Isn't said men who miss their wives so much tend to remarry quickly? Being your neighbor, it may be difficult to avoid him and why stress yourself doing that. Could you say to him it would be nice to have company once in awhile for lunch, but restate you are far from the dating and or relationship of that sort?
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Old 02-25-2013, 03:47 PM
 
Location: Olympia, WA
363 posts, read 405,352 times
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A cruise sounds wonderful, and especially if some of us sisters could go and meet for the first time! And we might even stow away Bluff as our chaperone I think we would have a grand time!

If I could only go on one cruise in my lifetime, my dream cruise would be to Alaska....I've heard it's spectacular.

tngirl
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Old 02-25-2013, 04:45 PM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,175,549 times
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Jude..Thanks for writing. Sorry that you had to deal with a "needy" friend for awhile...My neighbor didn't seem like a manipulator at first but I can see the tendencies now...I've had a couple of short talks with him and told him I'm not ready to date yet etc...He totally agrees and says he feels the same way I do...And his "agreeing" and feeling the same way that I do is suppose to make it okay to see each other...He has a way of flipping things around and doing some "weird tricks" or ?...So I've decided to just stay away for now...Basically my neighbor "talks at me" versus showing interest in me as a person...Most of the time I serve as an audience or "vessel" for him...It's not really "about me" per se...I thought I was a "pretty smart cookie" but I guess I better "wise-up" and be a little more careful so I don't get myself in another "kettle of fish!" (As my Mom used to say!).. Thanks for your post! Hope you're feeling better now.
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Old 02-25-2013, 06:08 PM
 
1,050 posts, read 2,867,430 times
Reputation: 1172
Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
Jude..Thanks for writing. Sorry that you had to deal with a "needy" friend for awhile...My neighbor didn't seem like a manipulator at first but I can see the tendencies now...I've had a couple of short talks with him and told him I'm not ready to date yet etc...He totally agrees and says he feels the same way I do...And his "agreeing" and feeling the same way that I do is suppose to make it okay to see each other...He has a way of flipping things around and doing some "weird tricks" or ?...So I've decided to just stay away for now...Basically my neighbor "talks at me" versus showing interest in me as a person...Most of the time I serve as an audience or "vessel" for him...It's not really "about me" per se...I thought I was a "pretty smart cookie" but I guess I better "wise-up" and be a little more careful so I don't get myself in another "kettle of fish!" (As my Mom used to say!).. Thanks for your post! Hope you're feeling better now.

You know you were hesitant at the beginning, so go with your first instinct. I learned that from Bob. He was ususally right about people.

Ye I am feeling better tonight...fixed a nice meal for the kids. Take care.

Judy
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Old 02-26-2013, 12:20 AM
 
Location: 900 miles from my home in 80814
4,669 posts, read 6,740,923 times
Reputation: 7078
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jude1948 View Post
We should gather a few of us and plan that cruise...maybe next year??
My sister-in-law LOVES to cruise. She takes an annual "girls" cruise with a bunch of her girlfriends. They're former sorority sisters in their late 60's, and they also are Embroidery Guild of America "sewers". They make beautiful needlework and are always stitching on their cruises when they're not shopping on shore or at the on board casinos.

Most trips, they leave their husbands for 10 days and go to the Carribean. She just got back from a cruise that left from Galveston went through the Carribean and back to Houston. Sometimes they do the Eastern Carribean, sometimes the West. Then, she and her husband usually do an Inside Passage cruise in Alaska in the fall. She went on a River Cruise down the Danube through Europe by herself one year, and another one in China on the Yangtzee. I think she spends more time on the water than at home in Denver. I've never been on a cruise in my life. I'm terrified I'll spend the whole time in the cabin seasick!
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Old 02-26-2013, 04:31 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,175,549 times
Reputation: 3514
Judy...Glad you feel better...Thanks for your posts back and forth...My widower neighbor came by last night. (Right after I posted about him.)....He said he is trying to make major life decisions about moving or ? And he needed to run it all by me...He made it sound like the earth would come "crashing down" if he didn't talk to me...It was totally about him and his "pressing needs." He was very "dramatic."...He definitely tried to "hook me in" and make me responsible for his welfare...I told him that I was sorry he was going through so many "struggles" and indecisiveness...I told him that it's rough for me at times too. And I don't always know which end is up or down and feel "lost" at times myself..He didn't want to hear this or hear anything about me...He wanted my "immediate attention" and concern and seemed upset when I didn't drop everything and make him the absolute center of my universe...He seemed like a "pouty kid." ("Dead-set" on getting his "way!")...Anyway part of reinventing myself is developing more "street smarts."
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Old 02-26-2013, 04:38 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,175,549 times
Reputation: 3514
Taking a cruise sounds like fun...
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