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Old 03-20-2013, 03:03 PM
 
Location: Arizona
5,585 posts, read 4,791,450 times
Reputation: 16506

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I don't think you have to have a cut off point. You will know if you should go. It will seem like the natural thing to do.

I get the same feelings about sympathy cards and flowers. The bar is low for sympathy cards but it has to be someone I really cared for and out of town to get flowers.
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Old 03-22-2013, 10:28 AM
 
Location: Mammoth Lakes, CA
3,089 posts, read 6,634,348 times
Reputation: 7139
Quote:
I don't care if anyone comes to my funeral, and I've told my surviving brother and sister that, if they don't come to not feel an iota of guilt over it! Take the money and spend it on a more enjoyable trip somewhere else!
Great philosophy! Funerals are for the living, not the dead. They don't know or care if you are there or not. And if you come from a fractured or dysfunctional family and won't get any comfort from being around them, don't go to the funeral.

No one can make you feel guilty for not going to anyone's funeral. That is a personal decision and yours alone to make.
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Old 03-27-2013, 01:52 PM
 
Location: Brooklyn,NY
1,961 posts, read 4,161,500 times
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My dad's funeral was big. About 200 people showed up. I think anyone that knows the person should be there.
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Old 03-28-2013, 04:59 AM
 
Location: South Carolina
13,121 posts, read 17,664,361 times
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I went to 12 funerals in one year and everyone was asking me , how come so many ? well if I knew the person Im going to their funeral it is a way to pay respect to the person who died end of story .
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Old 03-29-2013, 07:27 AM
 
Location: Brooklyn,NY
1,961 posts, read 4,161,500 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by phonelady61 View Post
I went to 12 funerals in one year and everyone was asking me , how come so many ? well if I knew the person Im going to their funeral it is a way to pay respect to the person who died end of story .
Exactly
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Old 03-20-2017, 08:46 AM
 
1 posts, read 991 times
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Is 112 miles considered within reasonable travel distance for a memorial service for the father of a friend with whom I play cards weekly (in a large group) whom I've known for 8 years and who does outside contractor work for me? I'd never met the deceased and do not know anyone in his family. My wife and I have already sent flowers. Any advice would be appreciated...
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Old 03-20-2017, 10:12 AM
 
Location: Eastern Oregon
983 posts, read 697,636 times
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"Funerals are for the living, not the dead, who had no idea whether you attend or not. If you have dysfunctional, abusive or an"uncongenial" family, then don't go. And don't feel any guilt."

Exactly! I have a funeral for a close relative coming up. I don't plan on attending because I was not close to this relative. Hadn't seen her in over 30 years. She had "issues" (I say diplomatically). The rest of the family that will attend - we are not congenial. I would like to be, but I don't think a funeral is the place to build bridges.
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Old 03-20-2017, 10:53 AM
 
4,864 posts, read 2,158,779 times
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I would fly worldwide if need be. My regard for the departed and the family take precedence over any " inconvenience" it may have in the daily routine.

I keep but a handful of those in my heart...So it's a no brainier to attend.

It's mind boggling that we now dismiss this circle of life by not showing respect for the life lived...

If millions who didn't "know" Michael Jackson showed up ....I'd think someone who actually touched your life deserves homage.
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Old 03-20-2017, 11:03 AM
 
3,137 posts, read 1,621,551 times
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I honestly would not expect anyone to travel to attend a funeral for a family member of mine. As long as they offer condolences, or send a card or flowers to the funeral home, that is enough.
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Old 03-20-2017, 11:26 AM
 
16,785 posts, read 19,654,434 times
Reputation: 33231
Quote:
Originally Posted by Randeroo View Post
Is 112 miles considered within reasonable travel distance for a memorial service for the father of a friend with whom I play cards weekly (in a large group) whom I've known for 8 years and who does outside contractor work for me? I'd never met the deceased and do not know anyone in his family. My wife and I have already sent flowers. Any advice would be appreciated...
Well this isn't a friend if all you do is play cards once a week in a large group. If you never see them outside of the card group or having done contract work for you, that's not a friend.

This is an acquaintance.

Very nice you sent flowers, that's enough.

If this was a real friend you knew many years, even if you didn't know the father, you go.

Not in this case.

Too many today throw the word "friend" around too easily.
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