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Old 04-16-2017, 10:24 AM
4,220 posts, read 4,441,686 times
Reputation: 9303


Originally Posted by tulani View Post
Ain't that the truth?

Evil me wants them to live with their guilt.
Not everyone feels the guilt you wish or want them to feel. For some they just go one with life and that is fine for them.
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Old 04-22-2017, 09:12 PM
549 posts, read 820,235 times
Reputation: 962
I go to funerals if I can afford to go. I live 500 miles away from the majority of the people I know. If I can make it I try to go especially if it is someone I was close to. I was very grateful for all who came to my sister's and my mom's funeral.
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Old 04-27-2017, 08:53 AM
Location: 76102
3,213 posts, read 1,491,064 times
Reputation: 9596
My brother passed a couple months ago. His wife's sister contacted me on Facebook to tell me to call. I did, the wife was very cavalier about it all, was not upset at all. Said he would be cremated.

So far I have not heard another word from her. My brother and I were not estranged, but certainly not close.

I probably would not have attended a memorial as we live 2500 miles away and probably couldn't afford last minute airfare. I don't think she had anything, just had him cremated and that was that.

They had been married for 20 years, both on disability, etc. Very weird. Good thing our parents have already passed as they would have been angry with her.
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Old 04-28-2017, 06:28 AM
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,611 posts, read 42,768,368 times
Reputation: 57306
DH and I do not plan on putting this burden on any of our far flung friends or relatives. We just had to spend a lot of money to travel to a sibling's funeral. Unless it was an extremely close relative, child, grandchild or sibling, we will not travel for it.
I have a great aunt, who is the only one left of that generation. Although I would like to see my cousins, I know we will not go there when she dies. We make an effort to see her while she is alive.
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Old 05-04-2017, 04:10 PM
18,883 posts, read 6,176,358 times
Reputation: 12702
I don't go to funerals or memorials. I think my parent's funerals were my last and that was in 2000 and 2005.

My only sister just passed after a LONG struggle with MS and I really lost her years ago. I was in the hospital and rehabs when she passed. When I got home after about 4.5 months with my own issue, I called my brother in law in NJ, I'm in CA, and then sent him a poem I find very comforting.

Treat people good all the time.

I send this to family/friends who have lost a loved one.


Give little gifts or flowers to people when they are living. Do favors for them.
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Old 05-05-2017, 02:49 AM
Location: Los Angeles area
14,022 posts, read 16,959,064 times
Reputation: 32180
Originally Posted by jaminhealth View Post
I don't go to funerals or memorials.
Of course it's your choice, but it's a choice I don't understand. I remember going to a local funeral for a man I had never met - the husband of a co-worker whom I knew a lot better than I know most co-workers. I went to support my co-worker and she appreciated it deeply. I'm glad I went.

When my mother died, I appreciated the cousins who gathered, some of whom came from out of town. It was a source of comfort.

Over the decades, I passed on most of the funerals of my aunts and uncles, not because I didn't want to go but because of the distance involved; their funerals took place in Louisiana and I lived in Los Angeles. I had a job which complicated the issue of getting the time. Now, I wish I had made more of an effort to go. It wouldn't have been "easy" in terms of convenience, but it would have been worthwhile.
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Old 05-09-2017, 11:26 AM
9,324 posts, read 11,164,334 times
Reputation: 12507
Originally Posted by Randeroo View Post
Is 112 miles considered within reasonable travel distance for a memorial service for the father of a friend with whom I play cards weekly (in a large group) whom I've known for 8 years and who does outside contractor work for me? I'd never met the deceased and do not know anyone in his family. My wife and I have already sent flowers. Any advice would be appreciated...
I driven 112 miles to go to dinner.......get in the car, you will be there in 90 minutes!
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Old 05-09-2017, 12:47 PM
6,787 posts, read 2,636,042 times
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I go to funerals. If they're elderly in the family, a funeral is a wonderful tribute and a way to reconnect with family. Some of our greatest family reunions have been gatherings to celebrate a long life well-lived. You make a weekend of it, and reconnect with family.

I also go to funerals of loved ones who were too young to die - because that's such a source of comfort for the bereaved family. Recently I attended an acquaintance's funeral (more than an acquaintance really, but not a close friend) and her teenage daughter, looking at the number of women who showed up, said woowww, Mom really had a lot of friends. Yes, she did. She did have a lot of friends and was beloved.

And that's a comfort.
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Old 05-09-2017, 07:02 PM
Location: alabama.
2,322 posts, read 1,601,810 times
Reputation: 4700
gotta be within my zip code .. iv`e missed two brothers and two sisters funerals because they were too far away ...if they dont come to mine .. i,m ok with it ..
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Old 05-15-2017, 08:07 PM
Location: Mt Shasta , Ca.
1,809 posts, read 1,245,872 times
Reputation: 3805
I want my husband to put me and my mom( ashes) in our niche at Hollywood Forever .If he is gone our daughter will place us. Just privately with no one but the cemetery people to help him/her . I love that place , for a cemetery it is so full of life .

I am not sure why I feel that strongly . MANY - well most - of my family and many of my friends are dead. Funerals have started to just wipe me out .
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