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Now that I'm "alone" I'm definitely trying to develop more "street-smarts." (I'm trying to be a little "wiser" and not quite so naive.)...It's a battle because I don't really want to become "hardened" or insensitive.. I don't want to throw my "innocence" or positive attitude in the garbage and become cynical and negative all the time...But I know that I have to "wise-up" a bit in order to protect myself...I remember having these type of concerns for my sons when they started to venture out into the world a little more. I knew they might be in for a few "hard-knocks" and disappointments in life and I couldn't "shelter" or protect them from everything...I wish life was a perpetual "rose garden" with no "thorns" or "bumps" along the way. But this just isn't reality...So I'm working on developing more "street-smarts." (Because it's my "job" to protect myself!)...How do you feel about it? Thanks for listening.
Now that I'm "alone" I'm definitely trying to develop more "street-smarts." (I'm trying to be a little "wiser" and not quite so naive.)...It's a battle because I don't really want to become "hardened" or insensitive.. I don't want to throw my "innocence" or positive attitude in the garbage and become cynical and negative all the time...But I know that I have to "wise-up" a bit in order to protect myself...I remember having these type of concerns for my sons when they started to venture out into the world a little more. I knew they might be in for a few "hard-knocks" and disappointments in life and I couldn't "shelter" or protect them from everything...I wish life was a perpetual "rose garden" with no "thorns" or "bumps" along the way. But this just isn't reality...So I'm working on developing more "street-smarts." (Because it's my "job" to protect myself!)...How do you feel about it? Thanks for listening.
Good for you CA!! We can never let our guard down and must always look out for ourselves.
I guess because I've worked in law enforcement and the court system most of my life, I have a hard time trusting anyone. I have a gun and am not afraid to use it if the situation arises. I have taken a self-defense course and that was well-worth it.
I would rather be negative and "street smart" than positive and naive. I know that I can take care of myself and am not afraid to be alone, but I am always aware of my surroundings, especially when I am out. There are classes you can take for self-defense or self-awareness. You might check with your local police department and see if they offer anything like that, or if they could recommend any type of classes; it's a good place to start.
It's a dangerous world out there!! Be safe!! cuz I care about you girlfriend
tngrl...Thanks for taking the time to respond. I live in a pretty safe area but I try to avoid placing myself in dangerous situations just in case...Great that you have so much confidence when it comes to protecting yourself and the "means" and "know-how" etc...Do you feel this same way when it comes to protecting yourself "emotionally?" Do you feel like a good "judge of character" in other words? And good at "sizing" people "up" early-on etc.?...Some years back I worked on becoming more assertive. So I can say: "No thank you." (Which is good!)...Sometimes I have to deal with "guilt" for "saying no." But the feelings eventually pass if I feel justified in having to tell someone "no."...And I truly am "sorry" if I can't "be there" or do something for a friend.
Always be extra careful in parking lots. As a woman, I always carry my car key in my hand when walking to my car so I can quickly enter the car and not look for the keys at the door. Then I immediately lock the door. I also never respond to strangers who speak to me in parking lots, just walk quickly by and ignore them (that includes people shilling girl scout cookies, selling puppies, etc.) Parking lots are potentially dangerous places, so always be extra vigilent there.
You can also carry mace or pepper spray. I was an inner city High School teacher in L.A. for 10 years and have been maced (as a bystander) by Security. It is NO fun. It's a good deterent to anyone who approaches you with mischief (or worse) in mind.
As a single female, I lived in the city that is generally in the top-three list for murders, rapes and arsons (Flint, Michigan) for seven years without incident.
I have also travelled alone in the Middle East (Egypt, Israel, Syria, Turkey) and driven thousands of miles through Mexico, and (way back when, mid to late 1970s) hitch-hiked all over Europe alone.
I don't believe one has to become hardened and suspicious of everything that moves, or armed to the teeth, in order to be safe. The key is to avoid getting into dangerous situations in the first place. Which in my view means you can be friendly and interactive with all sorts of people, but pretend like you're on a professional job assignment at all times....meaning maintain boundaries. Like, pretend you're a reporter and your job is to interact, but maintain distance and be on the alert for weirdos.
My parents are not very trusting of people in general & have pretty much raised me that way as well as to always be alert & I'm glad because you have no idea who to trust in this world. Man (not tehcnically speaking of just men, but mankind) lets us down all the time, so if yo don't expect much in the first place, you won't be hurt if something happens later. Most of the time, I give people the benefit of the doubt...but only the first time. You know how the old saying goes: "Fool me once, shame on you, fool me twice, shame on me."
In this day & age, I think all women should learn some kind of martial arts, but at the very least, go to self defense classes & retake them regularly.
Take care!
chiroptera, you're quite brave for doing all those things alone! I couldn't do it!...although I may surprise myself if I HAD to do it.
After the trouble I have had getting honest people to do work on my house, I have to say that getting "street smarts" about repairs and maintenance on your home (and car) is a big deal, too. There are ways to be taken advantage of beyond violent acts. Getting ripped off, over-charged, shoddy work, etc. is also a type of "financial assault."
I have been dealing with contractors and handymen since 1978. I know how to create a contract and monitor materials and labor. I have always taken care of these matters, whether it is a renovation (adding on a room) or a repair/installation (new garbage disposal, roof repair, etc). However, I guess I never realized how many "small things" hubby took care of over the years. Getting honest, reliable, competent handymen or contractors has been a real challenge over the last six or so years.
I finally joined Angie's List and that has been some help, but it still is not guarantee that folks will perform as expected, b/c often there are changes in personnel - so the same people who did a great job 6 months earlier may not be the ones that show up at your door.
I have been going through a really trying situation with getting some small repairs done. I won't get into that whole story, but since it is on my mind, I thought I would pass it on to make sure you have recommendations on household help in your files BEFORE you need assistance, if at all possible!
anifani...I can relate to "issues" with service people and contractors and mechanics etc..When my husband and I first moved to this area (nearly 20 years ago) there was sort of an "old boy's network" mentality...It was obvious that my questions weren't exactly "welcomed." As a woman I was suppose to keep "mum" and remain passive and let my husband handle everything... But this wasn't my nature and my husband and I were used to operating as a "team." (Where we both asked questions and had input.)...I still run into this kind of "stuff" at times. (Especially since I'm totally on my own now.)...But I expect it and prepare for it and try not to let anyone intimidate me. (Or pressure me etc.)
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