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Old 07-26-2013, 08:45 AM
 
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We lost our son to brain tumor at age 30,23 years ago,had earned his place in life.
We remember him always a fine gentleman but do not wallow with grief,life is for the living.
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Old 07-26-2013, 12:10 PM
 
Location: SWFL
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Quote:
Originally Posted by DanBev View Post
We lost our son to brain tumor at age 30,23 years ago,had earned his place in life.
We remember him always a fine gentleman but do not wallow with grief,life is for the living.
My condolences. Glad to hear you and your spouse are doing okay. Wallowing does no good.
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Old 07-27-2013, 09:43 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
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DanBev...Sorry that you lost your son. My son passed-away from cancerous brain tumors last year. It may take me a little longer to recover from losing him. I wouldn't say that I am "wallowing" per se. Trying to go on with my life...The first year can be rough. I have to come to terms with losing my husband and both my sons. (My entire family!) It's been a pretty big loss for me. But I'm trying to "go on."
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Old 07-27-2013, 04:39 PM
 
Location: Greater Greenville, SC
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I think the first year was the hardest -- not only the anniversary of my husband's passing but also every holiday, anniversary, birthday, etc.

For several years I was always kind of sad and out of it on the anniversary of his passing. I handle it just like any other day now, but 17 years after the fact, when that date rolls around, I have never forgotten what transpired on that date. Nor have I ever forgotten the details of his last few days while still alive. It's just never going to happen, unless perhaps I get Alzheimer's.
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Old 07-27-2013, 11:08 PM
 
Location: SWFL
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Originally Posted by PhotogGal View Post
I think the first year was the hardest -- not only the anniversary of my husband's passing but also every holiday, anniversary, birthday, etc.

For several years I was always kind of sad and out of it on the anniversary of his passing. I handle it just like any other day now, but 17 years after the fact, when that date rolls around, I have never forgotten what transpired on that date. Nor have I ever forgotten the details of his last few days while still alive. It's just never going to happen, unless perhaps I get Alzheimer's.
Yeah, I think that's the way it's going to be for most of us. I think the anniversaries of our spouse or child is always going to be a tough day. We can't help but remember.
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Old 08-01-2013, 09:49 PM
 
Location: Newport Beach, California
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Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
Speaking about Moms...Tomorrow is the anniversary date of my Mom's death. Sure miss her!

August 5th would be my late boyfriend's birthday. Not feeling too well here myself.

I am thinking about you today.
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Old 08-05-2013, 05:44 PM
 
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Yes, it is tough. Lost my sis Sept 27, '09....lost my mom Sept 20, '12. Mom & Dad's anniversary was June 21...wound up at the ER with dad that day...slight heart attack...grief driven for sure. Mom's birthday was Aug 2...I prepared a "daddy do list" for that day to keep him occupied as best I could...his sister spent time with him...talked to him throughout the day...he made it thru ok. The next day we worked on a project together.
Now the first anniversary of my moms passing is gonna be tough no doubt.
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Old 08-05-2013, 09:03 PM
 
8,440 posts, read 10,748,584 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PhotogGal View Post
I think the first year was the hardest -- not only the anniversary of my husband's passing but also every holiday, anniversary, birthday, etc.

For several years I was always kind of sad and out of it on the anniversary of his passing. I handle it just like any other day now, but 17 years after the fact, when that date rolls around, I have never forgotten what transpired on that date. Nor have I ever forgotten the details of his last few days while still alive. It's just never going to happen, unless perhaps I get Alzheimer's.
PhotogGal,

I agree with your lovely post. Some days I've remembered every year the anniversary date of other significant losses. I remember the dates I've lost relatives as do many of my family members do the same.

I'll never forget the phone call about two months ago telling me I'd lost the closest person to me. I don't have the memories of the last day or week. My loved one was moved to a different facility to die. Neither the most important subspecialist or I were aware there had been a transfer.

I have plenty of memories of days battling and advocating for specific treatments to save Crick's life. And Crick always beat the odds. I'll never know what those last days were like or how those who made the decisions they did can ever live with their actions peacefully.

But I will remember so many days of living, struggling, working with and having the happiest moments of my life with Crick. Fortunately for me those memories can happen anytime.

MSR
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Old 08-23-2013, 09:20 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
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The first anniversary of my son's death is right around the corner...I've noticed a difference in myself since my cat died a few days ago. At first I was consumed with grief and sadness. But now I look over at my cat's favorite resting place and I'm glad he didn't stick around longer and suffer and suffer...And to be honest I feel this way about my son too. His brain tumors caused a lot of damage and complications. And new tumors kept growing back fast despite the chemo and radiation treatments etc...I'm glad my son isn't laying in hospital beds today in agony. (Suffering and suffering.)
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Old 08-23-2013, 09:39 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,587 posts, read 18,230,863 times
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Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
The first anniversary of my son's death is right around the corner...I've noticed a difference in myself since my cat died a few days ago. At first I was consumed with grief and sadness. But now I look over at my cat's favorite resting place and I'm glad he didn't stick around longer and suffer and suffer...And to be honest I feel this way about my son too. His brain tumors caused a lot of damage and complications. And new tumors kept growing back fast despite the chemo and radiation treatments etc...I'm glad my son isn't laying in hospital beds today in agony. (Suffering and suffering.)
CA, that is the way we have to look at our loved one's deaths. As tough as it is and how much we miss them, we can not possibly wish they were still here and suffering, right? That would be so selfish of us. I'm sure we all wish our loved ones we still alive BUT healthy and that was just not to be.

Have your day of mourning when the day gets here and love yourself lots that day. (((HUGS)))
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