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Old 06-29-2013, 11:34 PM
 
8,440 posts, read 10,726,243 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by tamiznluv View Post
sera, Earl passed January, 2012. These past 17 months have been pretty much a blur. The first 5 months were hell until our Lord stepped in for me. Then with the foreclosure on my house, my puppy boy, Mickey dying, it has not been a good time in my life. I still see that I am Blessed though, I had another house I could come back to, I rescued my Chopper, a wonderful cat.

I still don't like to socialize. I have nada to talk about except on the different forums here! It's just me and my animals.

An old bf that I dumped back in the 70's recently contacted me through FB and wants to get together for a drink or coffee. I responded back with a heartfelt apology for dumping him that I've thought about for 40 years but declined meeting up with him. 1) I can't picture the "old" him from his new looks, 2) even though I can't see what attracted me to him in the first place, I know full well we'd end up in bed and I don't want that! He'd be familiar so I wouldn't feel bad about hopping into the sack with him....we've already been there, so I don't want to end up there again anymore. I miss everything about having a relationship, don't get me wrong, but I'd rather go without than just have a romp. This assuming he could still "get it on".

Oh, silly me, I DO have a big mouth! Sorry if I made anyone uncomfortable with talking about my life.
Tamiznluv,

I'm glad you shared the last part of your post. As I was reading it I wondered how you knew your suspected end to meeting your old b/f would absolutely end up with " a romp." I kept thinking, "what did he say to you so you knew he was capable of that activity?"

I laughed when I read your post. Often the way we make it "One Day at a Time" includes finding humor where we can.

I thought it was impressive you apologized to your former B/F for dumping him. How did he respond?

It's amazing to me how much more sensitive we become after we lose someone so dear to us.

MSR
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Old 06-30-2013, 11:43 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,465 posts, read 18,172,971 times
Reputation: 18841
Quote:
Originally Posted by Mtn. States Resident View Post
Tamiznluv,

I'm glad you shared the last part of your post. As I was reading it I wondered how you knew your suspected end to meeting your old b/f would absolutely end up with " a romp." I kept thinking, "what did he say to you so you knew he was capable of that activity?"

I laughed when I read your post. Often the way we make it "One Day at a Time" includes finding humor where we can.

I thought it was impressive you apologized to your former B/F for dumping him. How did he respond?

It's amazing to me how much more sensitive we become after we lose someone so dear to us.

MSR
Hee, hee, thought I had an ego as big as the sky? LMAO.

He thanked me and said he had wondered what had happened to me especially when he'd occasionally pass by a restaurant pretty far away from the town we both used to live in. I haven't responded back to him but I'd really like to know how he knew I had worked there. It was years after our break-up that I worked there! He said he had been pretty bitter towards me for years. I know he married on the re-bound because I was still in town at the time. Plus I knew her too.

It wasn't Earl's death that made me more sensitive about this, MSR, I've always been unhappy about the way I dumped him because the guy I dumped him for dumped ME posthaste! Karma. Then again I wouldn't've met Earl if things had turned out differently and that I wouldn't change for nuttin'. It's too bad I don't want to meet up with him, he gave me his phone number so I guess he really wants to, because he is a kind man like Earl was. I'm just not ready. I'll just keep plugging along "One Day at a Time".
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Old 06-30-2013, 03:28 PM
 
1,050 posts, read 2,870,664 times
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You know I might just like some pushy friends. Here are examples of what I hear.#1 "You need to come over for a glass of wine. Do you still drink wine? I'll have to have you over." #2 The concert is Friday do you want to meet there?"#3 "We need to get together for lunch real soon." I would like to come over for a glass of wine, but I just can't show up at the door. Come by at 7 and pick me up for the concert. I just don't feel good dragging my chair and a bottle of wine trying to find you in the crowd. Don't get me wrong, they do care a lot, but I sure don't want to appear needy. I don't know if I said this right, but I think you know what I mean. Do you see a whine, wine theme here. I still have a great sense of humor. We can talk about Bob, I like to talk about him.
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Old 06-30-2013, 03:31 PM
 
1,050 posts, read 2,870,664 times
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By the way, the physic was a bust. She saw my father right away, but not the right description. When I mentioned my husband she saw tall, dark. NOT. She hit on a couple of things, but I was disappointed overall. I needed to do it to get it out of my system.
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Old 06-30-2013, 03:42 PM
 
Location: SWFL
21,465 posts, read 18,172,971 times
Reputation: 18841
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jude1948 View Post
You know I might just like some pushy friends. Here are examples of what I hear.#1 "You need to come over for a glass of wine. Do you still drink wine? I'll have to have you over." #2 The concert is Friday do you want to meet there?"#3 "We need to get together for lunch real soon." I would like to come over for a glass of wine, but I just can't show up at the door. Come by at 7 and pick me up for the concert. I just don't feel good dragging my chair and a bottle of wine trying to find you in the crowd. Don't get me wrong, they do care a lot, but I sure don't want to appear needy. I don't know if I said this right, but I think you know what I mean. Do you see a whine, wine theme here. I still have a great sense of humor. We can talk about Bob, I like to talk about him.
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jude1948 View Post
By the way, the physic was a bust. She saw my father right away, but not the right description. When I mentioned my husband she saw tall, dark. NOT. She hit on a couple of things, but I was disappointed overall. I needed to do it to get it out of my system.
ha-ha, whine/wine. At least you retained your sense of humor, Jude. Yes, that would be nice to be picked up, wouldn't it?

Sorry the psychic was a bust. That's why I don't even bother. A "psychic" will "hit" occasionally I do believe. Glad you got it out of your system.

Come talk about Bob all you want with us! I know, I know, with "real people", friends. I thought we were friends here though.
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Old 06-30-2013, 04:59 PM
 
13,773 posts, read 33,023,593 times
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It does get easier but you never forget. I will recommend 'The Grief Recovery Handbook'. It helped me to come to grips with losing my beloved husband.

I think many of our friends really don't know what to say when we are grieving, so they want us to get over it. Many also know us as a couple and when it is just you, they don't know how to be a friend to just one.

It has been 10 years for me. I have a new life but I have no love of my life. I have learned to live by myself and to be happy. Ironically not too long ago i was sitting watching TV and I smelled cigarette smoke coming from behind me. I don't smoke now but my DH did, wonder if there are cigarettes in heaven..
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Old 06-30-2013, 05:05 PM
 
Location: Tennessee
16,227 posts, read 21,999,182 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Keeper View Post
It does get easier but you never forget. I will recommend 'The Grief Recovery Handbook'. It helped me to come to grips with losing my beloved husband.

I think many of our friends really don't know what to say when we are grieving, so they want us to get over it. Many also know us as a couple and when it is just you, they don't know how to be a friend to just one.

It has been 10 years for me. I have a new life but I have no love of my life. I have learned to live by myself and to be happy. Ironically not too long ago i was sitting watching TV and I smelled cigarette smoke coming from behind me. I don't smoke now but my DH did, wonder if there are cigarettes in heaven..
Awww....He was coming to visit you!
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Old 06-30-2013, 08:15 PM
 
1,050 posts, read 2,870,664 times
Reputation: 1172
Keeper, I hope there are no cigarettes in Heaven, but I believe your DH was paying you a visit.
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Old 06-30-2013, 11:38 PM
 
Location: Table Rock Lake
971 posts, read 1,135,001 times
Reputation: 939
Quote:
Originally Posted by Jude1948 View Post
Keeper, I hope there are no cigarettes in Heaven, but I believe your DH was paying you a visit.
More than a few times the last 5 years I have smelled Toast, bacon, coffee and various things and just as suddenly the smell will be gone as I search parts of the house. Hmmmm!
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Old 07-01-2013, 01:07 AM
 
Location: 900 miles from my home in 80814
4,670 posts, read 6,748,293 times
Reputation: 7083
I smell my husband's Old Spice deodorant. Every once and a while, I'll get a whiff and it gives me a start. I'll look around, expectantly, and then it's gone. My son was standing next to me in the kitchen one night, and he looked up suddenly, and said, "I smell Dad!" I didn't smell it that time, but I have lots of other times. It's comforting.
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