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A good friend of mine committed suicide unexpectedly Friday. He was severely mentally ill, but came from a reasonably well-to-do family, never had to work, never experienced any financial insecurity of any kind. He made an invalid suicide attempt in February by shooting himself in the eye with rat shot which resulted in numerous, expensive eye surgeries.
Over the years, he was a bad drug addict and alcoholic, and eventually deteriorated to the point where he had to be supervised to eat, bathe, etc. He was just 27 when he died.
I have a hard time bringing myself to go to the visitation of such a man tomorrow. He cruelly did this act without any regard to the feelings of family and friends. His family has put up with his garbage for years. His friends did what they could with him, but he gradually became a burden at almost infantile levels.
Do you believe that a suicide when life is so materially easy is even worthy of acknowledging with a memorial service?
Yes, as you said he was very ill.
It is easy to judge others when we are not in their shoes.
Him and the family deserve symphathy.
Hopelesness is very sad in their internal anguish they want to end it all.
Very sad. My sympathy to you and his family. And a prayer for confort,forgiveness and understanding.
Location: West of the Catalinas East of the Tortolitas
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I do believe he deserves a memorial service, if not for him, but for his family. You said he was severely mentally ill. Maybe his demons became too much for him and he couldn't take it anymore. He may have been a very tortured soul. His family needs to say good-bye no matter what, and they need to grieve his passing and their loss.
It is not up to us to judge. We can't begin to know what another person is thinking or feeling or going through. Someone with severe mental illness should have had treatment. This is a very sad situation. My thoughts go out to his family, and I hope he's finally found some peace.
A good friend of mine committed suicide unexpectedly Friday. He was severely mentally ill, but came from a reasonably well-to-do family, never had to work, never experienced any financial insecurity of any kind. He made an invalid suicide attempt in February by shooting himself in the eye with rat shot which resulted in numerous, expensive eye surgeries.
Over the years, he was a bad drug addict and alcoholic, and eventually deteriorated to the point where he had to be supervised to eat, bathe, etc. He was just 27 when he died.
I have a hard time bringing myself to go to the visitation of such a man tomorrow. He cruelly did this act without any regard to the feelings of family and friends. His family has put up with his garbage for years. His friends did what they could with him, but he gradually became a burden at almost infantile levels.
Do you believe that a suicide when life is so materially easy is even worthy of acknowledging with a memorial service?
It sounds like you thought of him as more of a burden than a friend from your statements. It is your choice to go or not but it is not your choice to judge whether he should be mourned let alone even ask such a question about a "good friend"........
Anger is usually the first emotion but then all persons who take their own lives need to be pitied that they saw no other way out. More's the pity for the ones left behind. I judged my SIL last March but now all I can do is pity him and my kids. It takes time to stop judging them and realize they were not in their right mind but it can be done. The anger may never go away though. Sorry you lost your friend.
Personally, I don't think a "good friend" would even pose a question like the one you did. Of course he deserves to be memorialized - regardless of what anyone thinks, he was still a human being with feelings and emotions. He probably wasn't always in turmoil. Some folks just cannot cope with life - for many reasons - and apparently coming from money and having a secure financial situation play no factor in ones ability to enjoy life. He was sick - and probably saw nothing worthy of living for any more. His family will no longer be "burdened" by his needs or torments, but he was still a part of their family and undoubtedly they loved him to the very end. So yes, I think the family deserves to have a memorial for him - it will be for them now. If you do attend - do it for his family and please keep your personal sentiments about him private. His family needs to grieve his loss and say goodbye. They will be remembering him as he was before the insanity overtook him - so please do be kind if you do go. If you cannot do that, I would suggest not attending. Your judgement means nothing to any of them.
Yes. He died from a disease. Not dissimilar from a heart attack or complications from diabetes. I hope you feel fortunate that you will never know what his sort of suffering was like.
You may be surprised to find that his family feels a sense of relief that his trauma is over and he is at peace.
...Do you believe that a suicide when life is so materially easy is even worthy of acknowledging with a memorial service?
You have described in detail his deterioration and mental illness, and yet that does not seem to figure into your scathing judgement. Your principal focus seems to be on the fact that he came from a financially secure background, and that money was wasted on him.
Quite honestly, I think your description and question reflects some seriously ugly values, and perhaps you could skip the memorial service of this "good friend" and spend that time to better advantage examining your own views and values.
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