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Old 07-31-2013, 12:43 AM
 
Location: 900 miles from my home in 80814
4,669 posts, read 6,740,923 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by longnecker View Post
Marcy my sincere condolences for your loss. I would not want to bring back bad memories for you..But as an old man living in a relatively quiet area I must ask. Security Guard??
Because the obituary was in the newspaper, it wouldn't have taken much for someone to find out our address and realize the house was empty while we were at the service. The funeral home suggested we hire someone to house-sit because thieves use obituaries to learn what days and times houses will be empty, as the time and place of the service is usually in the obit. We hired security for both of my parents services and for both of my in-laws services when they passed away as well. Just a safety precaution.
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Old 07-31-2013, 03:45 AM
 
Location: Long Neck,De
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Marcy..Thank you for taking the time to answer. Although my area is no longer leave your door unlocked or leave the keys in the car I had no idea the world was getting that bad.
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Old 07-31-2013, 09:01 AM
 
Location: SWFL
21,438 posts, read 18,150,188 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by longnecker View Post
Marcy..Thank you for taking the time to answer. Although my area is no longer leave your door unlocked or leave the keys in the car I had no idea the world was getting that bad.
Oh yeah, this has been happening for some years now, longnecker. Sad, isn't it? You can't even bury your dead without having to worry about thieves.
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Old 07-31-2013, 09:14 AM
 
Location: Upstate NY
30,411 posts, read 9,092,686 times
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If the addresses were known, we've always sent one of the little memorial cards to the people who expressed condolences.
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Old 07-31-2013, 10:22 AM
 
16,724 posts, read 13,676,345 times
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Default We did that too!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcy1210 View Post
Because the obituary was in the newspaper, it wouldn't have taken much for someone to find out our address and realize the house was empty while we were at the service. The funeral home suggested we hire someone to house-sit because thieves use obituaries to learn what days and times houses will be empty, as the time and place of the service is usually in the obit. We hired security for both of my parents services and for both of my in-laws services when they passed away as well. Just a safety precaution.
We did that too and people told us we were crazy. One of my daughters doesn't do well at funerals and we let her stay behind to watch the place. Not just because of thieves, but other relatives that might want to get in and steal stuff while we were at the funeral.

My brother & I changed the locks on his condo the first day we got there. We've both seen how crazy people get.
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Old 08-01-2013, 08:05 AM
 
2,581 posts, read 4,783,477 times
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I also had someone stay at the house during my LH's funeral, because of concern about a break in. Sadly, it's not that uncommon.

As for the condolence cards, you should send them out to people who sent flowers or memorial donations or who did a special "task" for you (such as pall bearers or readers or whatever). You absolutely do NOT need to send them to people who sent cards or simply attended the funeral. That is just way too much. Now, I *did* call a couple of close friends who attended and signed the guest book but who I didn't see at the funeral. I didn't know they attended until a day or two later, when I was reading through the guest book.
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Old 08-03-2013, 10:19 AM
 
Location: Greater Greenville, SC
5,891 posts, read 11,086,219 times
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When my husband passed away I did send thank you cards to anyone who sent flowers, gave a donation or participated in the service.

We did not put the funeral information in the paper. It was handled personally by phone and word of mouth, but I do think hiring security these days is an excellent idea. It's bad enough to lose a loved one without losing the contents of your home as well!
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Old 08-04-2013, 07:34 PM
 
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Same here, cards to those who sent flowers or contributions to various places. Also, some thank you's to personal friends, and those who went out of the way to be helpful or showed a particular kindness. The thank you notes were provided by the funeral home as well.
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Old 08-09-2013, 03:19 PM
 
Location: Philaburbia
31,165 posts, read 57,302,589 times
Reputation: 52030
I sent cards to people who had sent flowers, contributions to a chosen non-profit, or who sent money to me directly. I also sent notes to people who brought over food.

I always wondered why people brought over food -- but what a godsend! I was wondering how I was going to feed my out-of-town family (mom, sister and kids) when my neighbor appeared with deli trays, salads, rolls, and desserts. I was so grateful my knees almost buckled.
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