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Old 07-28-2013, 08:14 PM
 
Location: Tampa bay
1,014 posts, read 1,250,503 times
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After I lost my beloved daughter and after the condolences. My older sister informed me that I had to send Thank you cards for the envelopes I received.

I have and always had sent Thank you notes in the past for gifts and such. Although, this seemed at odds for me. I just never knew. Just wondering your thoughts
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Old 07-29-2013, 11:11 AM
 
16,724 posts, read 13,681,589 times
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I'm curious too. My dad died last year and we had no addresses for all of the people who came to the funeral. Somebody told me we were supposed to send thank you cards, but how? His address book was outdated since he never sent Christmas cards, and the guests in the guestbook did not include their home address.
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Old 07-29-2013, 11:18 AM
 
Location: SWFL
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Hmm, never heard of sending thank you cards after a funeral/wake. I've never gotten one and I've been to many funerals. Maybe it's a left over etiquette from eras past? I didn't send any out either.
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Old 07-29-2013, 11:41 AM
 
Location: Alexandria, VA
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I think (and have helped write) thank you cards for monetary and/or flower donations. You don't send a card for a card.
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Old 07-29-2013, 12:04 PM
 
11,686 posts, read 13,087,938 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carolyninfl View Post
After I lost my beloved daughter and after the condolences. My older sister informed me that I had to send Thank you cards for the envelopes I received.

I have and always had sent Thank you notes in the past for gifts and such. Although, this seemed at odds for me. I just never knew. Just wondering your thoughts
I would send cards to people who sent gifts, but otherwise I would simply place a "thank you" advertisement in the local paper. I did this with my father, and I have seen other such notices.
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Old 07-29-2013, 02:55 PM
 
Location: Alaska
4,946 posts, read 4,339,450 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carolyninfl View Post
After I lost my beloved daughter and after the condolences. My older sister informed me that I had to send Thank you cards for the envelopes I received.

I have and always had sent Thank you notes in the past for gifts and such. Although, this seemed at odds for me. I just never knew. Just wondering your thoughts
My sincere condolences in the loss of your Beloved. Although I am not a parent, some of my siblings have lost a child and shared with me the unbearable grief.

I would not send thank you cards for cards received but for other efforts that people have extended.

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Old 07-30-2013, 01:28 AM
 
Location: WA
604 posts, read 528,085 times
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Carolyn,

Am so sorry for the lost of your beloved daughter.

For myself, sent my husband's Celebration of Life program with a letter to folks who could not attend the celebration. DH transitioned to Heaven last year and finally finished this year---believe I sent over 40! At first it was helpful, coping with my grief, then too much, though wanted to complete.

Agree with the other Posters, you do Not need to send a thank you for a card. Have never received one myself.

Please be especially gentle with yourself, do whatever benefits, comforts Carolyn. For myself again, allowed myself to be with only caring folks, tolerated relatives, let them contact me, which some seldom do contact me.

Note: Received only a couple of responses to those I sent the program, that was all right. Did it for me, my healing and did appreciate those who took time to remember me.
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Old 07-30-2013, 01:39 AM
 
Location: 900 miles from my home in 80814
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I, too, sent (snail mail) Rememberance cards to people we knew, but who couldn't attend the service--mostly out of town friends or family--and I sent thank you notes (provided for free by the funeral home) to the people who sent flowers, memorial gifts to his scholarship fund, or to other charities in his name (the charities notified me of the gift) or who brought food or flowers to the house. Also sent a thank you to the Security Guard who stayed at the house, a gift to the little girl who kept our pets while people were at the house, and to the neighbors who cleaned the house after everyone left to go home to their lives in the days after the funeral. I didn't thank people for their cards individually, but we did put a "thank you" in our local, small town newspaper.
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Old 07-30-2013, 11:07 PM
 
Location: Florida Gulf Coast
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When my Mom died last year, I sent thank-you notes to almost everyone who signed in at the funeral (if I could find their addresses) as well as people who sent cards. I enclosed holy cards for some as a memento; for some others who couldn't attend the funeral, I enclosed a holy card and the Mass booklet; and for some really close family or friends, I even enclosed a copy of the eulogy. This all is totally not necessary, I just think it served as a distraction and made me feel better. I wanted to let them know how much it meant to me that they came to the viewing or funeral, or thought of me enough to send a card of condolence.
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Old 07-30-2013, 11:43 PM
 
Location: Long Neck,De
4,793 posts, read 6,508,212 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Marcy1210 View Post
I, too, sent (snail mail) Rememberance cards to people we knew, but who couldn't attend the service--mostly out of town friends or family--and I sent thank you notes (provided for free by the funeral home) to the people who sent flowers, memorial gifts to his scholarship fund, or to other charities in his name (the charities notified me of the gift) or who brought food or flowers to the house. Also sent a thank you to the Security Guard who stayed at the house, a gift to the little girl who kept our pets while people were at the house, and to the neighbors who cleaned the house after everyone left to go home to their lives in the days after the funeral. I didn't thank people for their cards individually, but we did put a "thank you" in our local, small town newspaper.
Marcy my sincere condolences for your loss. I would not want to bring back bad memories for you..But as an old man living in a relatively quiet area I must ask. Security Guard??
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