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Old 08-06-2013, 02:50 PM
 
2,039 posts, read 4,772,661 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by PeachyMJ View Post
LovingSat, the afternoon my MIL passed away, the Hospice guessed that she had 3 - 5 days left. We had gone to the ALF several times that day and at 6:30 pm went for the last time. She passed away at 8:30 pm. When the doctor put her on hospice the first week of June, his guesstamation was that she would not be here at Christmas.

I am so very sorry. Thank you for taking the time to post.
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Old 08-06-2013, 03:30 PM
 
Location: A place that's too cold
4,085 posts, read 4,052,014 times
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If I were the person in hospice dying, I wouldn't want anyone missing out on a special vacation because of me. People can tell me their goodbyes and their I Love You's while I'm still alive, no need to cancel plans once I'm gone and can't even talk with you.

Vacations are expensive and much of the cost is not refundable with a last-minute change. Personally, I don't like to inconvenience anyone while I'm alive, much less when I die.
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Old 08-07-2013, 11:55 AM
 
2,039 posts, read 4,772,661 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kayanne View Post
If I were the person in hospice dying, I wouldn't want anyone missing out on a special vacation because of me. People can tell me their goodbyes and their I Love You's while I'm still alive, no need to cancel plans once I'm gone and can't even talk with you.

Vacations are expensive and much of the cost is not refundable with a last-minute change. Personally, I don't like to inconvenience anyone while I'm alive, much less when I die.
Perfect.
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Old 08-07-2013, 02:42 PM
 
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If you visited your relative and had your last conversations before they were in an induced coma....then, realistically speaking: it is over and done with.

But the remaining question is the attitude of that person's closest family members. Leaving any questions aside of whether you have a "right" to take this long-planned vacation, there is the area of family relationships. If the dying person's closest relatives are angry and feel betrayed because you were not there at the time of death and for a funeral. You will deal with that for the rest of your life in one way or another, and it could spread disharmony in your relationships with other family members.

So, I would think that you would want to try to get a bead on how the family would feel about you being on vacation. Have you already brought up the topic? Are they aware of how long you have planned, etc.? Do you have any idea what the reaction might be?

It is all well and good for others not involved to cousel, "Oh, you have said your goodbyes, go ahead." We will not have to deal with any flack if there is some, only you will. Personally, I would want to have a good handle on how the close relatives will feel.

And after all, who wants the memories of a long-planned trip forever tarnished by soured family relationships? It would be a lose/lose situation.
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Old 08-07-2013, 04:32 PM
 
2,039 posts, read 4,772,661 times
Reputation: 1202
Quote:
Originally Posted by kevxu View Post
If you visited your relative and had your last conversations before they were in an induced coma....then, realistically speaking: it is over and done with.

But the remaining question is the attitude of that person's closest family members. Leaving any questions aside of whether you have a "right" to take this long-planned vacation, there is the area of family relationships. If the dying person's closest relatives are angry and feel betrayed because you were not there at the time of death and for a funeral. You will deal with that for the rest of your life in one way or another, and it could spread disharmony in your relationships with other family members.

So, I would think that you would want to try to get a bead on how the family would feel about you being on vacation. Have you already brought up the topic? Are they aware of how long you have planned, etc.? Do you have any idea what the reaction might be?

It is all well and good for others not involved to cousel, "Oh, you have said your goodbyes, go ahead." We will not have to deal with any flack if there is some, only you will. Personally, I would want to have a good handle on how the close relatives will feel.

And after all, who wants the memories of a long-planned trip forever tarnished by soured family relationships? It would be a lose/lose situation.
It was touched on today and the comment was oh we do not know how long this will be and oh no I would not want you to cancel any plans. Lets just wait and see what tomorrow brings...
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Old 08-07-2013, 05:40 PM
 
Location: Striving for Avalon
1,403 posts, read 2,001,773 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by kayanne View Post
If I were the person in hospice dying, I wouldn't want anyone missing out on a special vacation because of me. People can tell me their goodbyes and their I Love You's while I'm still alive, no need to cancel plans once I'm gone and can't even talk with you.

Vacations are expensive and much of the cost is not refundable with a last-minute change. Personally, I don't like to inconvenience anyone while I'm alive, much less when I die.
I would echo this sentiment.

I am a fairly accomplished traveller, and I can't think of something less contradictory to the celebration of my life/memory/legacy than a cancelled trip! Hell, my will would hand out cash to the young ones so that they could travel a bit.
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