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Old 08-11-2013, 06:41 PM
 
Location: Tampa bay
1,014 posts, read 1,249,884 times
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I cant do it, I cant look at pictures of my deceased daugther. It is just too sad even though she is on my mind constantly.

Grief never dies
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Old 08-11-2013, 07:03 PM
 
Location: NoVa
18,434 posts, read 28,520,978 times
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I am sorry for your loss, OP. I am not sure if you mean pictures of her in general, or of her taken after. That may sound awful, sorry if it does. There is a recent thread to that effect.

I am not sure how long it has been since you lost her, but time helps.

I have lost both of my parents and these days, looking at their pictures brings a smile to my face.
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Old 08-11-2013, 07:06 PM
 
Location: Tampa bay
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thank you...it has been 9 years....and pictures of her when she was living
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Old 08-12-2013, 07:12 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
4,166 posts, read 5,174,193 times
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Sometimes it's hard for me to look at pictures of my husband and sons. (And other loved ones who died.) It definitely makes me sad at times...Sometimes I'm okay with it. But usually not for long...So sorry that you lost your daughter. As parents we expect to have our children with us until we die. This is how I feel about my sons. I didn't expect to lose both my "kids" so early in life.
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Old 08-12-2013, 07:18 AM
 
Location: Tampa bay
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Quote:
Originally Posted by CArizona View Post
Sometimes it's hard for me to look at pictures of my husband and sons. (And other loved ones who died.) It definitely makes me sad at times...Sometimes I'm okay with it. But usually not for long...So sorry that you lost your daughter. As parents we expect to have our children with us until we die. This is how I feel about my sons. I didn't expect to lose both my "kids" so early in life.

So so sorry for you. To lose a parent is to lose the past to lose a child is to lose the future
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Old 08-12-2013, 09:47 AM
 
Location: Southwest Desert
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carolyn...Neither one of my sons had children of their own before they died. So I am literally the "end of the road." And I'm an only child too...When I die most of the family photos will wind-up in the trash. They just won't have "meaning" to other people...I have some relatives in the Mid-West who were "distant" for most of my life. They are not going to want to store (and keep) boxes and boxes of my family photos...So my photos won't have a "future" when I die. Maybe I should start looking at them a little more even though it can be sad and painful at times...At least they have "value" and "meaning" to me!
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Old 08-13-2013, 12:20 PM
 
Location: "Daytonnati"
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I kept an album and a big tin box (a lebkuchen tin, if you are familiar with those) of snapshots of my partner and me in the big bed we had, the year after he passed.

I would look through them before going to sleep (welll, try to sleep)...look at them and reflect on our life together.... and cry a lot...but also a bit comforted by the memories of him.

I eventually got rid of that bed and all the bedroom furniture and use that as a storage room... dont go in there much anymore.

I keep the tin and album in the closet, now, with his ashes and some of his old clothes and jewelry and stuff...and I bring them out and look at them during anniversies of things...when we met, when we decided to live together, his birthday, his death day...etc...


I still keep a picture of him, in a frame, on a stand on a table, in the living room, with a nice frame. This was a picture he chose to frame when he was alive, as he liked it. So it has a place of prominence and honor in my living area. I see it every morning when I do my journal entry.

Last edited by Dayton Sux; 08-13-2013 at 12:30 PM..
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Old 08-14-2013, 01:29 AM
 
Location: 900 miles from my home in 80814
4,669 posts, read 6,739,165 times
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I still have about 15 of my husband's dress shirts that were favorites of mine, and one suit that he looked so handsome wearing. I eventually gave away his other clothes. I have his jewelry in the same hand-carved box that he kept it in and I have a 4" x 6" framed picture of him in each room (different pictures). I also have an album full of pictures, including a lot of his childhood photos that his sister gave me after he died, sitting on the coffee table and his ashes are in an urn in our bedroom.

Next month, my son and I are going to CO to be with his sister, my other children and their children, and going up to Divide, CO where we lived when he died to scatter most of his ashes on land I own adjacent to our old house. That will be our final goodbye 3 years and 11 months since he died. We all agreed to wait as we felt it would be so much more meaningful to scatter his ashes where he wished when time had passed and we had reflected on how much we loved and missed him and how much a part of us he was. Right after the rememberance ceremony in 2009, we were all so numb, we knew it would mean more to wait until we could appreciate him, his life, and our love for each other. So, September 10th, we're going to scatter the ashes in Divide, go back to Woodland Park and have lunch at his favorite place (and ours), then take the Cog Railway up to the summit of Pikes Peak where we can see forever, and cherish the mountains he loved so much...a celebration from the heart...
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Old 08-14-2013, 10:22 PM
 
Location: Old Town Alexandria
14,506 posts, read 23,180,936 times
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I kept some of my dear Mom's things that were sentimental, including her childhood pics (black and white). I love having them with me, her spirit is still inside me too.

Its been a long time but the healing gets better. Maybe the pictures wont matter to "others" but all that matters to me is the strength of her spirit, op so sorry for your loss. It did take me about 9 years before I could remember, and go through all the pics and her belongings.
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Old 08-17-2013, 02:15 AM
 
Location: WY
4,909 posts, read 3,486,368 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by carolyninfl View Post
I cant do it, I cant look at pictures of my deceased daugther. It is just too sad even though she is on my mind constantly.

Grief never dies
I can't look at pictures of my son either. He died sixteen months ago. I can't look at pictures of him even though I see him in my head all the time. I can't look at babies, or small boys, or older boys, or young men, or grown men or old men. They are all reminders to me of different stages of my son's life that he lived and the stages of his life that he will never be. No. Grief never dies.
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