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Old 11-18-2007, 02:06 PM
268 posts, read 1,006,206 times
Reputation: 138


I have been an ER nurse for years but I have never experienced a death of a close person. It was always sad to see the family after a death but to experience it personnally is different. It's so painful.

My friend died yesteday after living years with diabetes and congestive heart failure to the point where she could barely get out of bed. She was only in her 50's.

I'm numb..

I just want a sign that she is ok with the good Lord and not suffering anymore.
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Old 11-18-2007, 02:08 PM
Location: in drifts of snow wherever you go
2,493 posts, read 3,067,025 times
Reputation: 692
She is not suffering anymore. She is concerned about you, though. She needs to know you'll be okay without her...
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Old 11-18-2007, 02:14 PM
Location: southern california
55,237 posts, read 72,453,647 times
Reputation: 47456
i wish there was something i could say or do to make this grief go away but i cannt.
be grateful for every moment with each of us, its a short journey its got a start and end. i wish i could tell you for a fact that there is something after this. nobody comes back to talk about it. make everyday count. i can tell you the grief will come to an end.
thank you for your noble work contribution to society.
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Old 11-18-2007, 02:14 PM
Location: Sheffield, England
2,639 posts, read 5,932,526 times
Reputation: 3249
I'm so sorry for you loss. I haven't lost anyone close to me in a while but I can still remember what a gut-wreching feeling it is. My deepest condolences to you and everyone who was close her.

Stay strong.
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Old 11-18-2007, 02:29 PM
Location: Hampton Roads, VA
673 posts, read 2,877,661 times
Reputation: 325
I am so very sorry to hear about your loss. Death is something that is never easy to deal with. I lost my Grandmother on New Years Day this year to Breast Cancer. To this day I still find myself reflecting on it, getting upset, etc. I lost my Great Aunt who was also very close to me 2 days after my Grandma died. I live in VA and had to fly back to WI for the funerals, after just coming back from Hawaii. Hard to go from having the best week of your life to the worst week of your life. We had my Grandmas funeral on Friday and my Great Aunt on Saturday, and after my Great Aunt's funeral, I remember driving through the country side and the sun was covered by clouds, but there were two huge rays of light shining down where the sun was breaking through the clouds. Others may not believe that was anything but to me, that was my sign and that is what I needed. You may see your sign, or sometimes you'll just feel it in your heart. They are in a much better place now, no pain or suffering.
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Old 11-18-2007, 03:21 PM
Location: Branson, Missouri
7,268 posts, read 16,857,789 times
Reputation: 3683
I'm sorry you lost your friend.
It's hard to lose someone you love and you never get over it. However, I do believe that they are no longer suffering and it makes me feel better to know that.
I agree with Bunky also in saying, 'make everyday count.'
Think of the good times you had and go on that. It helps.
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Old 11-18-2007, 03:36 PM
Location: Sheffield, England
2,639 posts, read 5,932,526 times
Reputation: 3249
I just stumbled across this poem which I thought was quite beautiful.. I hope it can help bring comfort to you.

"Safely Home"
I am home in heaven, dear ones.
Oh, so happy and so bright!
There is perfect joy and beauty
In this everlasting light.
All the pain and grief is over,
Every restless tossing passed;
I am now at peace forever,
Safely home in heaven at last.
There is work still waiting for you,
So you must not idly stand,
Do it now, while life remainth -
You shall rest in God's own land.
When that work is all completed.
He will gently call you home;
Oh, that rapture of that meeting
Oh, the joy to see you come!

- Author Unknown -
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Old 11-18-2007, 06:42 PM
Location: In the real world!
2,178 posts, read 8,229,079 times
Reputation: 2772
I lost a good friend about 5 years ago and it was a very tramatic experience for me because she was murdered. It took me a long time to get over it (if I even have) and I can tell you, I still miss her something awful.

What I did and still do that helps is every spring, in April, the month she was born and died in, I plant flowers for her. I have a section in my yard I dedicate just to her and I call it "Peggy's Garden".

The pain will get better but it takes time but you never stop missing them. ((((HUGS)))))
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Old 11-18-2007, 09:26 PM
Status: "Invisible cats keep you up at night" (set 3 days ago)
Location: Somewhere.
9,761 posts, read 21,620,376 times
Reputation: 7108
I like to think we are all spiritual beings having a human experience. Your friend is now floating around the universe, free from pain and young again.
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Old 11-19-2007, 03:36 AM
Location: Oxford, England
13,036 posts, read 21,529,763 times
Reputation: 19858
I am so sorry about your loss and at the moment there is nothing which will make you feel better.

I lost my beloved Grand-Mother this year and the first couple of months were just numb and really surreal. It didn't really hit me until later and I am now still dealing with grief and trying to make sense of it. The only comfort is knowing you loved that person that they loved you and trying to hold on to all the memories you had of them.

Have your own little memorial service, do something she would have loved in her name ( plant some flowers in your garden or a tree, or go to her favourite restaurant) and think of her being free of pain and remember her when she was happy and laughing.

It is really hard and I feel for you but it does get easier. Eventually. It's just a natural process we all have to go through sadly.
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