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Old 11-05-2013, 04:31 PM
 
Location: Whispering pines, cutler bay FL.
1,912 posts, read 2,091,663 times
Reputation: 2052

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I was just going to my normal grocery late day run and I would have gone earlier but DR Phil special on Michelle Knight and her story made me linger.

If I had been five mins sooner I might have been this car, this has freaked me out so bad because there is NO way the driver of the car survived, the hood was compleltely crashed in. he would have been either beheaded or crushed.

The folks all around since this just happened within minutes were shocked and a lot of them snapped out of it but had no idea what to do with a headless person.

I am now trying to process this and it is bothering me big time were I am having crying fits for the dead victim. To top it all off the other vehicle the person that is involve has a white sheet look on his face and I see him vomiting on the side of the road. I am having crying fits for them as well.

This is really really hard for me because sister in law and brother in law died in really bad car crashes.

How do you deal with this?
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Old 11-05-2013, 04:36 PM
 
Location: Whispering pines, cutler bay FL.
1,912 posts, read 2,091,663 times
Reputation: 2052
This just happened so really trying to deal with a huge amount of emotion coming through on a personal level. It brings back a lot of memories of being called for SIL and being told she is dead, and BIL sister calling me to get her when police notified her.

I don't know these folks but it brought back really hard tough emotional memories. I thought I had moved on.
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Old 11-05-2013, 04:45 PM
 
Location: N of citrus, S of decent corn
34,630 posts, read 42,779,610 times
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I was on my way to work one morning and arrived at the scene of an accident in which an SUV had rammed into the back of a log truck. The firemen were holding tarps around the car, so I did not actually see anything, but it caused me a major meltdown anyway. The logs went in the windshield and out the back window, so you can imagine what happened to the driver.
I was very upset my what I had seen, but by the time I got to work I was alright.
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Old 11-05-2013, 04:54 PM
 
Location: Mayacama Mtns in CA
14,523 posts, read 7,368,095 times
Reputation: 11302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cubanchic View Post
...How do you deal with this?
If you are a person of faith you pray. Sorry, I'm not sure what other folk do in a case like this.

I'm so sorry you're experiencing this shock and the visual memories. In times these will fade a bit, but if you try to Not think of them, it's probably pretty impossible. Let the thoughts come, but be aware of your breathing. Take deep slow breaths in through your nose and let them out through your mouth Slowly. If tears well up, let them come and they will be cleansing, reflective tears.

It can be a time of being so thankful and grateful that you weren't in fact, at that spot 5 minutes earlier. And don't feel guilty for feeling this very strongly! It's OK, as few or none of us would want it to happen to ourselves.

Try to be quiet and reflective and possibly look at some photos of those whom you love; telling them in your mind that you're so thankful they are in your life.

Do you drink tea? Any kind of herbal tea would be refreshing, or caffeinated tea would be bracing and strengthening. Which ever it is, have some of your favourite.

I wouldn't put any demands on yourself for the evening, if possible.

I hope some or all of this is helpful for you. You're in shock, and this is inevitable and necessary. It's how the body helps us to deal with horrible shocking events.

As I'm a woman of faith I will light a candle for you.
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Old 11-05-2013, 04:56 PM
 
Location: Mayacama Mtns in CA
14,523 posts, read 7,368,095 times
Reputation: 11302
Quote:
Originally Posted by Cubanchic View Post
This just happened so really trying to deal with a huge amount of emotion coming through on a personal level. It brings back a lot of memories of being called for SIL and being told she is dead, and BIL sister calling me to get her when police notified her.

I don't know these folks but it brought back really hard tough emotional memories. I thought I had moved on.
Anything you are thinking or feeling right now is OK. Don't worry or evaluate if you've moved on.
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Old 11-05-2013, 06:18 PM
 
Location: Wisconsin
671 posts, read 778,224 times
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Unfortunately death is part of life and I've been in your situation a couple of times. I usually take time to reflect on life and I am thankful that I'm still alive and cherish each moment that I have. It's fine that you are crying because it helps you cope with the situation.

A man died in front of my apartment complex about 10 years ago and that really affected me because I heard it and when we went outside the paramedics were working on him but soon covered him up. The other time I was on my way to work and there was a truck in the far left lane who gradually drifted across the highway, he missed all of the cars and his the divider between the exit ramp and shoulder, it was head-on. There really is no right way or wrong way to grieve it just takes time.
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Old 11-05-2013, 08:52 PM
 
Location: Whispering pines, cutler bay FL.
1,912 posts, read 2,091,663 times
Reputation: 2052
Thanks for the replies, I have just cried my eyes out and my hubby, bless his soul, gave me hope that the driver could have survived.

If he or she did it was by the grace of God. But then again miracles happen, just in this case the driver had to be ejected because otherwise there wasn't room for his/her upper torso in what remained.
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Old 11-05-2013, 09:51 PM
 
Location: WY
4,911 posts, read 3,491,126 times
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The shock and disbelief you are feeling (and all the physical and emotional things you are going through) are normal reactions when we see something we are never supposed to see. None of us are equipped to deal with those kinds of things, no matter what kind of training (military, law enforcement, paramedic, fire fighter etc.) we might have had.

If I may suggest - if the feelings you are experiencing now persist beyond a week or so, if they interfere with your sleep, your normal eating patterns, your concentration (or anything else that tells you that you have not "gotten over" what you saw) then consider short term counseling (think grief counseling when a classmate dies at your child's school).

Just a few sessions of talking to a professional who can help you process what you saw, what you are feeling etc. may help.

I am very sorry that you had to go through this. Hug your family closer and remember to tell them that you love them. Best of luck to you.
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Old 11-06-2013, 12:10 AM
 
8,440 posts, read 10,724,542 times
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Default One different thought..

Quote:
Originally Posted by juneaubound View Post
The shock and disbelief you are feeling (and all the physical and emotional things you are going through) are normal reactions when we see something we are never supposed to see. None of us are equipped to deal with those kinds of things, no matter what kind of training (military, law enforcement, paramedic, fire fighter etc.) we might have had.

If I may suggest - if the feelings you are experiencing now persist beyond a week or so, if they interfere with your sleep, your normal eating patterns, your concentration (or anything else that tells you that you have not "gotten over" what you saw) then consider short term counseling (think grief counseling when a classmate dies at your child's school).

Just a few sessions of talking to a professional who can help you process what you saw, what you are feeling etc. may help.

I am very sorry that you had to go through this. Hug your family closer and remember to tell them that you love them. Best of luck to you.
Some excellent advice Juneau. I agree, no one is born to see tragic events.

Some of us train and learn how to be competent working in some unbelievable circumstances and some days last 28 or more hours.
We handle sometimes unspeakable situations two ways. Working as a team...members help support each other. Also, each team member often reflects on how they attempted or did make a difference for the survivors. Many will talk to an EAP provider.

There is no shame or judging needing a professional to help you deal with what you witnessed.

I differ slightly with Juneau's good idea. I'd find a therapist who has had PTSD or Crisis Intervention. I agree with Juneau's idea of utilizing the services sooner rather than later. Remember, First Responders utilize Crisis Intervention therapists often.

Take care of your self and I hope you feel settled and better soon.

MSR
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Old 11-06-2013, 12:43 AM
 
113 posts, read 169,576 times
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Cubanchic View Post
I was just going to my normal grocery late day run and I would have gone earlier but DR Phil special on Michelle Knight and her story made me linger.

...

How do you deal with this?
The Michelle Knight story is heart wrenching even past the point where she called the 911 and said she was missing but now she's here and this horrible person on the 911 phone discounted her as just another thug in the city…..then you see this accident knowing a good estimate of how this person perished, the pain you are feeling is understandable. I once saw a woman hit by a car, to this day I'll never forget how shaken I was seeing her die before my eyes, laid down by the street gutter walking from Starbucks with her coffee heading back to the office. It wakes you up. Life is full of suffering, life is short, life is more than any materialistic thing. Life is about the topics that people will speak speak about at your memorial service. That is what life is all about. But meanwhile also learn that life is suffering. Check into the four noble truths by the Dalai Lama. It helps one deal with all the pain that we see our gov't imposing on the citizens. Meditate. Grow, and most importantly, enjoy life with a guilt-free life as long as you can.
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